Joshua's Walk

I want to talk some more about my son and his walk with his Savior, Master and King. Joshua's life is such a tremendous example of how God never wastes our pain. No matter if it is physical or emotional, He never lets it go to waste. He has a reason for all of our struggles, trials, disappointments, pain, grief, all the things that this world classifies as unfair. It is so cool how a child of God can look back on things of childhood or times past, that used to be a source of such enormous pain or confusion, understanding that God knows the beginning from the end, and see how God used it for His glory later on in their life. That is exactly what Joshua's life is a testament of. I'll first talk about his emotional pain. Joshua has always been a very lonely person. He is my only child on this earth. His dad and I divorced when he was just a baby. He had another son when Joshua was 8 but by Joshua's own admission, they haven't really been close until a few months ago. They love each other but just lived in separate worlds. As I've written before, Joshua was never able to make friends. He was always the kid that was picked on and beat up. Others hurt him so very bad. He's had some girlfriends but never did the normal popular high school boy dates/prom thing. He hasn't dated since getting saved last year. Even though there are lovely young Godly ladies in our church, as of yet God hasn't put one in his path. He told me recently that he has 200 people in his phone yet has never had any close bonds. He hasn't been close to family in a lot of years through no fault of his own. Him and his dad have never really been close either. He has just always felt excruciatingly alone in this world. Although he tried, he wasn't very good at sports. He knows first-hand what hurt and rejection feels like. People can be so cruel, and he has had more than his share of the cruelest of treatment. But you know, God knew this was going to be Joshua's life. We were talking about it recently when my son was grieving for some of the boys he knows at church that seem so sad and lonely. Some of these boys have a lot of pain in their lives from a number of different sources. We were talking about the fact that if Joshua had been the captain of the football team or the most popular boy at school, if he had all the friends, all the girls, and all the success, he would be a totally different man today. Think about it, there are boys that Joshua reaches out to that have difficult home lives, tremendous loneliness, no friends, get picked on at school, rejected by the outside world, and suffer so much pain and confusion from life in general. If Joshua had been one that had never gone through any of that, how could he have the level of compassion that he has for these boys now? He couldn't, plain and simple. He might be able to say, "Wow, that sounds tough. I'm sorry". But because of the fact that he knows deep down in his guts what these boys are experiencing, he can minister to them in a way that the "rosey life" guy couldn't. Joshua has such Godly empathy for these boys. And because it's Godly, he is able to witness to them on how to react to what they are going through in a way that honors Jesus. He can let them know that he cares deeply for their pain and at the same time tell them that God has a plan for all of it. He can talk about the goodness and mercy and compassion of a Father. He can witness and share the gospel of Jesus Christ with them, which is the most important thing they will ever hear. And they are more apt to listen to someone that they can tell genuinely understands and cares, who's walked down some of the same roads they walk. If he didn't have firsthand knowledge of all the hurt, about the best he could do in the end is tell the boys, "Hey, I'm praying for ya.". But he is able to go so much deeper than that. And he is able to give advice that lines up with the will and teachings of God.

Now to the physical pain. Joshua started having the problem with his body about 10 years ago. I spoke of it in my last post. His body stays so weak that he can hardly use his arms and legs. He had to get a hands-free phone because he can't hold his arm up very long. He has trouble holding a book. He can't hold a baby. He can't walk very far and his body requires a tremendous amount of sleep. It had always been his dream to be a police officer. When he was 19 he entered the PST program. He had the best grades in the class but his legs would not allow him to run. It wasn't that he was out of shape because he was actually in pretty good shape. He had to leave the program and give up his dream. Some people might be bitter or feel extremely sorry for themselves. Although Joshua has not been able to understand it for years, he now looks at it in an entirely different light since getting saved last year.
God blessed Joshua with getting to go to Camp Tsungani this past summer as a counselor. There was a mountain hike that the kids could choose to go on each day. Joshua was not assigned this task as a counselor but had the option of doing it during his free hour. He met a boy there at camp who asked Joshua to please go with him on the hike up the mountain. This hike is only 10 or 15 minutes long...nothing too hard. Joshua said a silent prayer to God, just telling God that he only wanted His will for making it up the mountain trail. He didn't simply ask God to give him the strength, he said only if it was God's will. Nobody knew his physical condition. So with the confidence that God was in control no matter what the outcome, Joshua started the climb. He made it!! It was God's will and good pleasure to allow His son Joshua to make it the whole way! And then God did it again a second day with another boy that came along!! Oh, God is so good! It would have seemed like a silly little thing to most normal healthy people, but to Joshua it was huge, and it was the greatest. Now, let's just think about something else. Let's say that next year God allows another little boy to come to camp that has a dad who is abusive to him. Maybe this dad was a big football star and his son is physically weak and incapable of much along the line of sports. Maybe this boy doesn't even like sports because his weakness always causes him to fail at anything he attempts, when all he's trying to do is please his dad. But the harder he tries and fails the more his dad ridicules him. Maybe his dad is the only example he will ever have of how a father treats a son and maybe Joshua will be the only man ever put in his life to show him different. What if this boy has always been angry with God for making him have to live with a weakness that results in his dad never being proud of him. What if he blames God for his weakness, and thinks if God had made him strong, his dad wouldn't be so mean to him. What if he hates God and blames God for his having to endure the look of disappointment and disapproval in his dad's eyes every time he fails. What if he is on the verge of bitterness that grows inside of him like a cancer. What if he doesn't even want to live anymore, that it seems to him like death would be a better option than having to hear another cruel word from the one man on this earth who's supposed to love him. Now suppose Joshua asks this boy to go on the hike and this boy agrees but is afraid because he is scared of how Joshua might tease him, or be disappointed in him for not being able to make it all the way without having to stop. Suppose he is afraid of seeing that same rejection is Joshua's eyes. Maybe he has become quickly attached to Joshua and doesn't want the new found friendship to end in disapproval from the eyes of yet another man. Now he and Joshua start the climb and this boy is in pain and too weak to continue but afraid to stop. Of course Joshua, before starting the climb, will have offered a silent prayer to his Father the same as he did last year about His will on making it up the mountain. What if God's answer is "No". So Joshua has to tell the boy, "I'm sorry, but I have to stop and rest. You see, I have this problem with my body that makes me very weak. But God is so good to me. I love Him and I praise Him for it anyway." And of course Joshua is GLOWING with love and praise for God, his wonderful Father, in spite of his inability to get up the mountain. Then Joshua notices tears starting to well up the the boy's eyes. With compassion, he asks him if he would be willing share the reason why he's crying. The boy feels comfortable enough and knows it is ok to open up and let Joshua in on the life he endures with a dad who mistreats him. He tells Joshua that he thinks his dad actually hates him for not being the son he was hoping to have. And he tells him about his feelings towards God and wants to know how Joshua is able to be happy, and able to praise God even though it is God Who allows Joshua to be weak. An opportunity for witnessing about his gracious Father, his wonderful loving Savior, laid out on a silver platter for my son. Now what if Joshua, instead of praising God and being joyous, being angry with God for not getting him up the mountain, had acted mad or upset? The boy would have felt like it was directed at him. He would have assumed that all men are the same as his own dad, and it might have solidified his bitterness towards God. They would have both come down from the mountain feeling terrible. But instead, they come down changed people. One, being told about a Father in heaven Who loves him and a Savior Who died for him, gives his life to Christ. The other having seen yet another glorious example of the never-ending goodness of a holy God, finds yet another reason to never question God's "no" answers! And God, as He should, would be glorified!
My point is this, no matter what Joshua's life entails or what he continues to endure, God is aware. God is in control and uses every single bit of it for His glory. Joshua is so humbled by the life God allows him to lead, in being chosen to suffer for the cause of Christ, to the glory of God the Father. Jesus didn't have an easy, popular life. Joshua's only desire is to be like his Master and King. Our Savior suffered more than we could ever imagine and He did it all because He loves us so much. The bible makes it clear over and over that suffering for the cause of Christ is an honor. Maybe you are suffering things now that you can't find rhyme or reason for. Maybe it doesn't seem to tie in with anything else in your life. But if you are a child of God, He wants you to endure it patiently, not questioning His perfect choice. If you belong to Him, nothing happens in your life outside of His sovereign will. Maybe He has allowed Satan permission to hurt you in any number of ways. Maybe God Himself is causing something painful in your life. No matter what the source, God is ultimately in control. He is the Sovereign of your life. He wants you to quietly in complaining but boisterous in praise, not try to make sense of it or complain to anyone who will listen, but to just trust Him. He wants you to turn to Him and praise His holy name, no matter what. You grieve His heart every time you ask the "why" questions. Do you feel as if you can't trust the One Who spoke and created the world? There will never be a time in your life when you know more or better than God does. If you belong to Him, He has the right to choose whatever He wills for your life. But always remember that it is for His glory and your good. (Romans 8:28) He is the Potter and you are the clay. (Isaiah 45:9) At the very second He decides enough is enough, He will step in and He will change it. Oswald Chambers said that some of what God allows in your life that is hard doesn't have anything to do with you per say, it has to do with equipping you in order for you to be of use to someone else. So in other words, if you are going through a horrible trial and you are learning God's lessons left and right, don't assume that it is because you are being punished or because God doesn't care or has forgotten about you. God may be doing it to you for no other reason than to build you up to be a great help in time of trouble for your brother or sister in Christ. Or He might be doing it in order to allow you to be salt and light to someone who is still in darkness. Beloved, you may be suffering with something that God decides to never change or remove. Does this make Him any less holy or worthy of your praise? No, no, a thousand times no. Your pain or lack of understanding of His purposes in no way negates His goodness and holiness. So no matter what you are suffering, no matter what your trials or struggles, praise Almighty God for them. Seek His face on His will in every single one of them. Trust Him, thank Him, lean on Him and He will see you through. And if you are blessed, truly blessed, He will allow you to suffer for His kingdom, honor and glory. There is no better blessing offered to a child of the King of kings and Lord of lords!