Joshua's Story

It's so awesome how God chooses to let family members experience some of the same things in their walk with Christ. Although Joshua and I have our different roads that we walk with Jesus, some roads are the same. Working together in Children's Ministries at church on Sundays is one of them. But there's another one that God is just starting to give us, one that we didn't see coming. I had prayed for it, fervently, but Joshua was gloriously blindsided by it. It's the ministry of proclaiming Satan's big lie about false security in salvation. What a great story this is.
When I got saved in 2003, the very first thing God revealed to me was that I had not been saved before that day, and that there were those I loved who weren't saved either. The wonderful news was that I was saved, but the horrifying news was that I knew my precious son was not. It's interesting because Joshua "came to Christ" at the same age as me, 13. This is what we thought anyway. Both of us at the same age. When Joshua was 13 he went to Victory Valley church camp. He came home and said that he had gotten saved. "Oh, that's nice", was my response. Sound familiar? I had heard that from MY parents when I came home at 13 and proclaimed that I had gotten saved. Anyway, when Joshua told me, I didn't really think it was anything that great since all good people go to heaven, right? He threw away his CD's that had bad words in them. He even got baptised. I didn't bother to take that Sunday off of work to be there for him. Besides, why waste a vacation day for something like that? Joshua went on to live his life for the next 14 years thinking that he was "in". Hey, he had a feeling and said a prayer. It didn't matter that he lived like the devil for the next 14 years, and I didn't live any better. In fact, I lived a horrible life in front of my son. He grew up and became involved in plenty of wicked sins but still proclaimed salvation, just like I did. After I got saved and realized that my son wasn't, I tried to talk to him about it. He didn't want to hear it. Hey, I was the same way before salvation. If someone had tried to tell me that I wasn't saved, I would have cussed them out and asked them who they were to judge me!! There's your sign right there. And so it was with Joshua also. He was somewhat patient with me the first time. I made several attempts to try and reason with him. One time he agreed to recount his salvation experience to me. He told me this story: He was at camp and they would sing songs in the auditorium. One day they were singing songs that he really didn't know. Then they started singing "Awesome God" and he said he got excited because he knew the hand motions! He said he felt really good and then felt something in his heart and then went to a lady and told her. He said that he really couldn't think of anything to pray so the lady lead him and he repeated it after her. He said it felt like a warm blanket wrapped around him. Beloved, do you hear all the "feelings"? He was completely convinced that he had been saved. When I tried to talk to him about the life he had been living all those years since 13, he got defensive, very defensive. The very last time I tried talking to him about it he was lying on my couch and I got on the floor right up next to him. I asked him not to take my word for it. I asked him to do one simple thing for me, take it to the Lord. "Joshua Honey, just ask God about your salvation." He got really mad at me and told me that we would never have that conversation again. He forbid me from ever bringing it back up. So from the age of 24 until a year ago, we never discussed it again. I had pushed him too far and the door had been closed. Actually, I had it slammed in my face. I obeyed his wishes and didn't try again. I did what I could do, I prayed. I pleaded at the throneroom of grace and mercy every single day from April 2003 until late 2008 for my son's salvation. I had already come to terms with my mother. God had already given me the wisdom where Mom was concerned that I wrote about last time. So, I took Joshua's salvation to Jehovah God. I praised Him every single time I prayed for my son. I told God that He was so good and holy and righteous. I told Him that even if Joshua spent eternity in hell, He was still the same wonderful God, and I still praised Him no matter what. I told God that He was holy and His decisions were perfect. But I pleaded every single day with tears for my son's salvation. And then about a year ago, God drew my child to Himself. Those of you who know my son personally know that he is a Godly man who loves the Lord with all of his heart. You have seen how he serves his Master and King with such joy. You've witnessed how God is blessing and using Joshua. But what you don't know is who that man, who went by Josh, was a little over a year ago. Although I have Joshua's blessing in writing this, I'm not going to get into his sins from before salvation. I'll just tell you that he, by his own admission, was a very hateful, wicked man who couldn't care less about anyone else in the world but himself and me. He didn't care about children at all and had no patience for them. Can you imagine? I'm talking about this man whom God has obviously blessed with a tremendous heart for those precious kids, and a wonderful gift of ministering to every child that God puts in his path. Before salvation, life had been hard on Joshua, and it showed in his actions coming from a wicked cold heart. He had been hurt too much growing up and he didn't have much of anything to give to anybody. There was NO, NO, NO fruit of the Spirit in Joshua's life. There was NOTHING of God anywhere inside that man. Satan had him completely blinded. And then He came to Christ. It was sometime several months ago that I decided to ask him when he thought his salvation took place. He said that he was sure that it had taken place at 13, but that he was just doing his own thing the last 14 years. He said that God just simply brought him back. When I asked him to recall all of the things that had been in his life all these years, he just said that it didn't change anything about the fact that he thought salvation came to him at 13. It bothered me because it seemed like such blasphemy to talk about God being on the inside of him and living like the devil for all those years. To attach God's name to all of that wicked sin was just so very wrong. I asked him, "So what you're saying is that the Holy Spirit was just too busy to make ANY changes in your heart and life at all over the last 14 years? What, you were just so far down His list that it took Him 14 years to get around to you, and around to doing ONE SINGLE THING in your life and to change you in the least???" Yep, I did, I said that to him because I am more concerned about blasphemy against God than I am my son's feelings. Period. I was not going to spare Joshua's feelings at the expense of my God's holy Name. He didn't get mad at me this time. It was so wonderful to see a man who now had the Holy Spirit living on the inside of him and to witness God's love coming out in him as a result of his salvation. Anyway, he really didn't have an answer except the same one, that he was kinda doing his own thing but now he was ready to live for Jesus because God had called him back. I told him that I felt as if God had called him for the first time but that I was just so very thankful that God called him at all!! AMEN? So, I dropped the conversation with my son but took it to God and continued to pray about it for the next several months. Joshua gets such a kick when I tell him he better watch out because I pray a lot of things for him and God is in the habit of answering them! Anyway, I told Joshua that we would know the truth someday in heaven so I would drop the conversation, and so I did, but continued to take it to my Lord often. I knew it had been true for me and knew it was true for Joshua, but maybe he would never realize it. But you see, God didn't want Joshua to stay in the place of thinking that he had been saved when he really hadn't. There's a HUGE ministry out there. There are millions of Americans who think they are saved when in fact they are not. God has called me to this ministry, and He raised my son up also, to come alongside me. And the cool thing is that if I had continued to beat Joshua over the head with it until he just got sick of me, it wouldn't have been so precious to him the way God revealed His truth to him about his salvation. God is so faithful, and true to His nature. Without me saying another word to Joshua over the last several months, and Joshua just going on in his walk with Christ, the Holy Spirit has been revealing so many things to my son to show him that he was, in fact, not saved before last year. And what is so important about that is the fact that not only has God shown him, but He's placed a huge desire inside of Joshua to make this a critical part of whatever ministry God puts or continues him in. And I didn't have to do anything but pray, which is the best thing. God took care of the rest. He has been so lovingly showing Joshua the difference in a true saving faith and a lie from the pit of hell. And He has placed the desire inside of my son to be baptised!! People, this is something, without talking about it to Joshua, I have been praying fervently for. My son was baptised at 13 but was not baptised after salvation, which is an act of obedience on the part of the redeemed. I prayed for this because I wanted it for my son, and I wanted it for myself. I was too wicked to care the first time he got baptised. So I just quietly prayed and asked God to do whatever His will was. Next thing I know, Joshua is totally filled with all of these truths, God's truths! This is GOD STUFF!! This doesn't just happen. Joshua was completely convinced that he was saved at 13 and that he could, with the Holy Spirit of God living on the inside of him, live like the devil. And what is so cool is that Joshua has first-hand experience with the "say a prayer, sign a card" salvation. Beloved, it's not the words you say in a formula prayer that saves you. Yes, some do come to the cross that way. But there's no magic formula. And just because you have an emotional moment before you say some prayer doesn't mean that you are going to heaven. In fact, it concerns me when I hear of people trying to lead other people to Christ simply by getting them all worked up with emotion. So many people are deceived into thinking that they have a true saving faith just because they shed a few tears and said some prayer. Then they go off and live the rest of their lives in total sin, never giving Jesus another thought, thinking they are saved. Or they pretend in public to have a life with God when they live like the devil in private. And another thing that is so wonderful is that Joshua now realizes that he didn't have to say some special prayer when he truly got saved. It was the same for me. The night I got saved, I thought I had been saved since I was 13 and now I was 42. I was thinking that all I was doing was coming back to God after being away for 29 years. I was talking to God and I was telling Him that I was so very sorry for the way I had been living. I told Him that I was so ashamed of all the horrible names I had called him after my mother's death, and even thinking that He didn't exist. I confessed my wicked lifestyle and all the evil sins I had committed through the years. I told him that I was so very sorry and didn't want to live that way anymore. I told Him that I wanted Jesus to be the Lord of my life, that I needed Him so bad. So please God, forgive me and help me. I only want you, Lord. And that was the night I was saved. Joshua had the same experience, exactly. At 13 he said some prayer. At 27 he had a conversation with God in a prayer that saved him. It wasn't a formula prayer for either one of us. It was repentance. It was acknowledging our sin against a holy God and a desire for Him...a turning from sin to God. And God was faithful. He saw our hearts instead of just hearing a prayer. He first gave us the faith. Even the faith comes from God. We can't claim any part of saving ourselves. It is 100% God. He draws us and gives us the faith to believe. He called us by His sovereign choice, and drew us to Himself. And now, He is calling us to be faithful to Him in proclaiming to anyone who will listen about Satan's false sense of security. We are so thankful because we are so very unworthy! If you ever want to hear a couple of wonderful stories about God's blessings, ask Joshua and me. But don't expect to hear about fame, wealth, or health. We have no fame, and in fact we're not liked very much by some for the tough stand we take on the hard truths of God. We just can't sit back and pat people on the back all the way to hell. Being hard on Satan's deception does not mean that we are not compassionate. Just the opposite is true. We have a tremendous compassion and concern for those who are living a life that begs for ease. Our hearts are tremendously grieved when we hear children of God ask for prayers to remove even the slightest inconvenience or sickness from their lives. Beloved, those are the things that drive us to our knees. Those things cause us to seek God more fervently. God uses all types of hurt and sickness to bring us into a closer relationship with Himself. Sometimes, it's the only way He can get our attention. Wanting these things to just go away is grievous to our Savior's heart. It goes against everything Jesus taught, and we care enough to say so, although it is such hard truths, and hard to speak up and say. But the name of Jesus is at stake! We are both financially poor and both in bad health. We NEVER pray for our health, either our own or each others'....EVER! We pray for His sovereign will and perfect plan. We never pray for money! We are faithful to God with every penny because it all belongs to Him. We never ask for any material things. We both pray to be broken bread and poured out wine for Jesus. We pray to be NOTHING, for Jesus to be everything. We pray for God to do whatever He pleases with our lives...nothing matters but His glory. We pray for Jesus to do whatever He has to or chooses to do to make us more like Himself so that He can use us for His kingdom and for His gospel, to the glory of God our Father...even if that means stripping us of anything and everything. Even if that means taking one or both of our lives. Our lives are not our own anyway, right? We belong to Christ! I'm not saying this to say "look at our lives". Joshua and I realize that there are more people than not, here in America, who struggle with thinking that if you are a Christian, life should be easy. People think that they deserve a good life. Happiness is thought of as a right here in America. Living the American dream seems to be important to Christians and non-Christians alike. But we feel as if that is not what it's all about. Every Christian is going to stand in front of Jesus and give an account for their life. This life is nothing but a blink of an eye but eternity is forever. What difference does it make what you have in this life as far as "the good life" is concerned? Every single thing we endure, in a way that honors our Master in this life, will simply be more rewards in heaven. And I believe one reward will be more capacity to praise our King forever and ever. So, whatever it takes to live for Him now and honor Him with our lives, that is exactly what we want. It really doesn't matter what that looks like. It doesn't matter if we are homeless! It doesn't matter if both of our healths continue going downhill. God knows about it. If God wanted to change our health, He could do it in a split second. But these things that are hard in our lives just cause us to live closer to the cross of Christ. Whatever could be wrong with that? My body is in extreme constant pain and Joshua can hardly walk a block because of a problem he has had for years. The doctors, at one time, thought it was MD, but now don't know what it is. He cannot function like the average person on a normal night's sleep. His legs barely work. He can hardly use his arms because they stay so weak. He knows that if God gives him a wife and children, he won't even be able to hold his own baby. But he praises God in spite of it and even praises God for it!! AMEN! God allows it and could change it at any time, but he knows that God uses it in his life for His glory. And he knows that when he is weak, that Jesus' strength will be manifested. That is when God gets all the glory, as He should. An easy life makes you tend to forget the One who died for you. I know I wouldn't pray NEAR as much if my life was easy, trouble and pain free. The more we suffer here on this earth, the more use we will be to our Master. You can't be very helpful to those who are suffering unless you have suffered a lot yourself! So we pray for whatever God wants to do to us to make us useful here and now. Besides, it won't last long, the pain and hardships. Before we know it, we'll be in heaven beholding the King of kings and Lord of lords! Whatever it takes, Lord, so be it. Only glorify your holy Name.