Choose Praise

Child of God, did you know that you can overcome the sorrows and trials of life and praise the Lord in the midst of them? It's a tough discipline to learn but it is possible with the help of the Holy Spirit inside you. You can continue to have a pity party. You can continue to question God and even blame Him, or you can decide that you will trust and praise Him no matter what. It grieves the heart of Jesus to hear His children ask, "Why me?". Why NOT you? Why not me? Are we any better than our Lord who suffered tremendously and unjustly on this earth to redeem His chosen? I know self pity is an easy pitfall and the best of us have fallen victim to it at one time or another in our walk with Christ. We have to get on our faces and plead for His grace to sustain us through our pain and hardships. We have to surrender our will to Him. We have to ask Him to glorify His holy Name in whatever circumstances, in His sovereignty, He allows in our lives. And then beloved, we have to decide to praise Him regardless of the crushing weight of our trials and pain. If you are saved and belong to God, He tells you in 1 Thes. 5:16-18 "Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus". Wow, what a command. It isn't a light suggestion and it doesn't say only if you feel like it. Or how about this one from Heb. 13:15, "Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name". I understand how hard this can be at times. When I am struggling to praise Him through the trials and pain, I always turn to the Psalms. I love Psalm 63:3-4 which says; "Because Your loving kindness is better than life, my lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name". Beloved, do you ever lift your hands up toward heaven when you praise the King of kings and Lord of lords? We teach our kindergartners different ways to pray to God, whether on their knees, on their face, dancing around, ect. We have demonstrated to them how we lift our hands in praise and prayer to Jehovah God. We pray many different ways in our class. But there's this little boy named Colton who every time we tell the kids that we are going to pray, he throws his hands in the air and throws his head back so that he can look up to the heavens during our prayer! The joy in his eyes and the smile on his face are amazing! Wow, that just blesses my heart to see a child understanding more about the joy of worshipping the Lord than most adults! It's the Holy Spirit inside of you Who will honor your praise to God even when you don't feel like doing it. He will give you joy unspeakable if you will only lay aside your cares and simply praise His holy Name. Here's another one: Psalm 145:1-3 "I will extol You, my God, O King, And I will bless Your name forever and ever. Every day I will bless You, And I will praise Your name forever and ever. Great is the LORD, and highly to be praised". Or this one from 146:1-2"Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD, O my soul! I will praise the LORD while I live. I will sing praises to my God while I have my being". And one more from 150:1-2 "Praise the LORD! Praise God in His sanctuary; Praise Him in His mighty expanse. Praise Him for His mighty deeds; Praise Him according to His excellent greatness". In Revelation 19:5-6 we see a picture yet future. This is a part of John's account of what he saw the saints of God doing, those of us who will live forever and ever praising our King: "And a voice came from the throne , saying, 'Give praise to our God, all you His bond-servants, you who fear Him, the small and the great.' Then I heard something like the voice of a great multitude and like the sound of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, saying,'Hallelujah! For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns'". Beloved, we will spend all time and eternity singing praises to God. And it will be such a beautiful sound to His ears. But think about how precious it is to Him to hear a suffering child praise His name here and now. He knows your pain. He knows your hardships and your sufferings. And He wants to hear you praise His holy, righteous Name from the depths of that grief and pain! He wants you to thank Him through your tears. He longs for you to love Him enough to look up to the heavens and thank Him for His gracious, tender care. Your lack of understanding through your pain in no way negates His goodness or holiness! Did you get that, beloved? Nothing that seems bad in your life that He allows, in no way takes away one ounce from His rightful standing as the holy God of this universe! The LORD Omnipotent reigns!! He has bestowed tremendous grace and mercy on you to choose to save your soul from everlasting hell. He desires and deserves to hear your praise of thanksgiving to Him, regardless of what you are going through. But I'll tell you something; if you are not willing to praise Him through the pain, others will. He has other children who are suffering more than you and I could ever imagine, who are on their faces day and night thanking Him for whatever His sovereign will decides for their lives. And they are seeking His face for the grace to glorify His holy name through it. And they praise Him for counting them worthy to suffer for the mighty Name of Jesus Christ their Master and King. And Jesus accepts their praise with gladness in His heart and gives them precious grace to hold up under that and anything else He decides to allow in their lives for His kingdom, for the gospel and for His glory, to the glory of God the Father. Why shouldn't that be YOU? Why not me?
I want to show you some passages in the bible that break my heart when I am having a pity party and refusing to praise God when in my deepest distress. It is the passages that talk about creation praising Jehovah God. First we'll recall what Jesus said to the Pharisees. It was the time when our Lord was riding on the donkey into Jerusalem and the crowds were singing and shouting His praise. Some of the Pharisees got angry about it and demanded that Jesus tell everyone to stop doing it. In Luke 19:40 Jesus says to them: "I tell you, if these become silent, the rocks will cry out"! Just think about that. It was so important that these people praise Him that if they didn't, the very ROCKS would do it in their place!! WOW! Incredible thought! It makes my heart leap every single time I read that or every time I talk about it to someone like my kindergarten class. Rocks would praise the King if people didn't! The bible has several passages about creation praising God. Psalm 96:11-12 says, "Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; Let the sea roar, and all it contains; Let the field exult, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy." 65:12-13 says, "The pastures of the wilderness drip, And the hills gird themselves with rejoicing. The meadows are clothed with flocks And the valleys are covered with grain; They shout for joy, yes they sing." 69:34 "Let heaven and earth praise Him, The seas and everything that moves in them." 98:7-8 "Let the sea roar and all it contains, the world and those who dwell in it. Let the rivers clap their hands. Let the mountains sing together for joy." 150:6 "Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!" Read the entire Psalm 148. I'll just give you the first 5 verses because they are so majestic: "Praise the LORD! Praise the LORD from the heavens. Praise Him in the heights! Praise Him all His angels; Praise Him all His hosts! Praise Him sun and moon; Praise Him all stars of light! Praise Him highest heavens, And the waters that are above the heavens! Let them praise the name of the LORD, for He commanded and they were created." Is it not so humbling to realize that God's very creation praises Him and we who were made in His own image neglect that privilege so often? We are the only thing that God created in His own image. The holy angels never stop praising Him night and day. They will never know the joy of salvation or the feeling of being a child of the King. But we do. Those of us who are saved are the redeemed of the Lord. Yet look how often we don't bother to praise Him for His loving kindness towards us! As much as He must love the fact that creation praises Him, think of how much more He delights in hearing the songs of praise from the redeemed!! There is no comparison between creation and the redeemed of Jehovah offering up sacrifices of praise to the One who spoke and created the world! He is waiting for me to praise Him through the pain. Beloved, He is waiting for you too. I know it's hard sometimes. When life is kicking you every time you try to stand, or the pain in your body is so bad that you can hardly think of anything else. Maybe family ties are broken or there is such tension and strife in your home that there is rarely any peace. Maybe you lost your job and you don't know how you will pay your bills. Maybe your heart hurts because you feel unloved. Maybe if you're young you are suffering ridicule from other kids at school for your faith. Or it could be a thousand other things that keep you from lifting your hands to the heavens and offering a sacrifice of praise to the One who is worthy. Whatever your reason, whether it be anger, confusion, or pity over your circumstances, it is sin to harden your heart and refuse to praise your Savior. He deserves it and longs to see your worship. Sometimes things are so hard for me that I just can't see my way clear to praise my King. My heart can be so hard. There are times when I pity myself so much that there's no room for anyone else to join my party. So I let a day go by without thanking my Father for His goodness and blessings in my life. I don't bother to praise Him for His grace and mercy. And then I imagine myself at the Judgement Seat of Christ. And I behold the face of the One who suffered and died for me. And then He so lovingly says to me; "Dana my child, do you remember on November 25, 2009 when your body was hurting and you were also struggling with loneliness, and as a result you were feeling so sorry for yourself that you refused the prompting from the Holy Spirit to get on your face and praise Me? You were thinking about how hard your life was. Well, let me show you someone else, your sister in Christ that lived in a poor country where Christians were persecuted for their faith. On that same day, Nov. 25, she watched as her only child, a son who was 28 like your son, was tortured and then burned to death because neither him nor her would renounce Me. And the year before that, her husband had been put to death for the same reason. Dana, let me show you exactly what she did as soon as she got back to her grass hut that had nothing inside but a blanket and one single page from a bible." And then my King shows me a woman who has obviously had a rough life, kneeling on her blanket, with her hands lifted high in the air, her head turned up toward heaven, tears streaming down her face...her face that was like that of an ANGEL! And she was smiling through her tears and singing the most beautiful words of praise to her Savior and King! And she thanked Him for the grace and strength to endure and she asked Him for more opportunities to bless His heart. And then she ended with a single sentence that tied it all together: "Only glorify Your holy Name". Beloved, can you imagine my SHAME? Can you imagine how horrible that would be for me on that great day when I come face to face with the King of kings and Lords of lords?? I shudder to even think about it but I can imagine something like that will be the case. Why wouldn't He show us all the times when we could have and should have loved Him enough to praise Him but for whatever reason, just didn't? I can hardly bear to think about all the times when things are hard for me and I have the opportunity to praise His holy name, knowing that He sees me and everything I do and everything I think and feel. Knowing that my praise is a sweet smelling aroma to Him and that my offerings of worship to my Master are precious in His sight! And yet I somehow feel justified to withhold my praise because holding onto my anger or pity means more to me at the time than my love for my Savior. Have you ever been in that situation? I think most of us have at one time or another. It is such sin and I know that one day when we stand before our LORD, that we will regret every single one of those times. NOTHING will seem justifiable to us then...nothing! Oh merciful Father, for the grace to not pile one more day of guilt onto my life. God I pray this for all of Your redeemed. Your mercy and grace are available to us in abundance! May we plead at the throne of this great grace to praise You and extol Your holy Name in ALL things. And Lord, I ask this in Jesus' name, Amen.
Precious ones, the next time, maybe even today, when you are faced with trouble and pain and you are at the crossroads of the choice to wallow in that pain or praise God in the midst of it, for the sake of Jesus, choose praise!

Trust God

I started reading a book that came out in 1973 and has remained important through the years. It is called Knowing God by J.I. Packer. I've only read 1/3 of it but what I have read so far is amazing. This book contains wonderful truths important for any child of God. I've been reading today about a subject that is near and dear to my heart as well as many today who face struggles in their walk with Christ. I've already written about this a little bit in previous posts but this man puts it better than I ever could, so I want to take the time to quote several lines from his book. He's talking about God.."Still He blesses those on whom He sets His love in a way that humbles them, so that all the glory may be His alone. Still He hates the sins of His people, and uses all kinds of inward and outward pains and griefs to wean their hearts from compromise and disobedience. Still He seeks the fellowship of His people, and sends them both sorrows and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to Himself. Still He teaches the believer to value His promised gifts by making him wait for them, and compelling him to pray persistently for them before He bestows them." Packer goes on to talk more about this and uses Joseph's life in Egypt as an example. "Joseph was being tested, refined, and matured; he was being taught during his spell as a slave, and in prison, to stay himself upon God, to keep cheerful and charitable in frustrating circumstances, and to wait patiently for the Lord. God uses sustained hardship to teach these lessons very frequently. ...we are confronted with the wisdom of God ordering the events of a human life for a double purpose: the man's own personal sanctification, and the fulfilling of his appointed ministry and service in the life of the people of God. We should not be too taken aback when unexpected and upsetting and discouraging things happen to us. What do they mean? Why, simply that God in His wisdom means to make something of us which we have not attained yet, and is dealing with us accordingly. Perhaps He means to strengthen us in patience, good humor, compassion, humility, or meekness, by giving us some extra practice in exercising these graces under specially difficult conditions. Perhaps He has new lessons in self-denial and self-distrust to teach us. Perhaps He wishes to break us of complacency, or unreality, or undetected forms of pride and conceit. Perhaps His purpose is simply to draw us closer to Himself in conscious communion with Him; for it is often the case, as all the saints know, that fellowship with the Father and the Son is most vivid and sweet, and Christian joy is greatest, when the cross is heaviest. Or perhaps God is preparing us for forms of service of which at present we have no inkling. Jesus learned obedience by the things which he suffered (Heb. 5:8) and we should not be surprised if He calls us to follow in His steps, and to let ourselves be prepared for the service of others by painful experiences which are quite undeserved. 'He knows the way he takes' even if for the moment we do not. We may be frankly bewildered at things that happen to us, but God knows exactly what He is doing, and what He is after, in His handling of our affairs. Always and in everything He is wise: we shall see that hereafter, even where we never saw it here. Meanwhile, we ought not to hesitate to trust His wisdom, even when He leaves us in the dark. But how are we to meet these baffling and trying situations, if we cannot for the moment see God's purpose in them? First, by taking them as from God, and asking ourselves what reaction to them, and in them, the gospel of God requires of us; second, by seeking God's face specifically about them. If we do these two things, we shall never find ourselves wholly in the dark as to God's purpose in our troubles."
Beloved, these are powerful truths. I know they really hit home with me. It is so critical for us to trust God in ALL of our circumstances. And you know, He may leave us in those trials and confusions until we do. It's not our place to know what God is up to in our lives. He may choose to reveal some of His plan to us but most of the time He wants us to understand that He is God and He can do anything that pleases Him. We have to remember Romans 8:28 if we are true believers. No matter how bad something in your life may seem to be, God is working it out for your good. Ask Him to glorify His holy name in your pain, grief, hardships, troubles, trials, and anything in your life that tends to lead you away from trusting your Father. Oh precious one, when the pain is so tremendous that you can't see straight, wipe the tears from your eyes, look up to the heavens and remember this verse from Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

Giving Thanks

It's been a few thousand years since the days of the Old Testament. There is a beautiful psalm of thanksgiving in 1 Chronicles chapter 16. No matter what the century, the beautiful songs of praise to the Lord Omnipotent never change! From the first of God's chosen to the last one on earth, His children will offer their praises to the One who is worthy! And the wonderful thing is that praises to Jehovah God will live on for all eternity. Have you ever felt so much love for your King that you couldn't help but sing a song of thanksgiving to Him? How about when you are in tremendous pain, no matter what the kind? As sweet as our praise is to our Father when we are spilling over with joy, think of how precious the song is when our hearts or bodies are screaming with pain. Beloved, do you let your song of praise ring out over the pain of trials and tribulations, or a body in constant agony? It's so easy to praise God when He showers us with blessings or when He gloriously answers prayer. But you know, when things are going tremendously well for me, that is when I tend to forget God. Hey, things are great and it's easy to just roll along and get too busy enjoying my blessings to remember to thank the One who bestowed them upon me. It isn't long though, due to the Holy Spirit's prompting, that I am back on my face singing songs of adoration to my King. In verse 8 of chapter 16 it says to make known His deeds among the peoples. I forget to do that sometimes. It grieves me to admit that but it's true. It's usually the little things that I forget Him in. I'm usually pretty good at remembering the big things. The other day someone asked me how I have the energy to work extra hours at my job since they are physical labor hours. I said "I do what I gotta do". Wow, really? I am asked all the time how I manage to stay awake at night when it's the body's natural function to be asleep during those hours. "Oh, I manage. Besides, I've been doing it for half of my life." Somehow I just manage, huh? I'm asked why I am always smiling. How many times has my normal reaction been, "Because of Jesus!"? The sad truth is most times, but not every time. Sometimes I just come back with a quip that doesn't point to God and His goodness, mercy and grace in my life. I could give you so many more examples. But my point is this, often times I don't even think to give God the glory until I have walked away and the opportunity has passed me by. Oh how that must grieve the heart of my Father who is so gracious and generous with His blessings to me! It is my fervent prayer that I NEVER miss an opportunity to shout out the praises of my King. Another line in verse 12, almost the same as verse 8 is "Remember the wonderful deeds which He has done". It talks about God's deeds three times in this psalm that appears in 1 Chronicles. This is critical for every child of His to remember. You want to know when my favorite time is for recalling His wonderful deeds in my life? When I am grieving so much that I can't see through my tears of pain. Or when I feel as if He has turned His face away from me for whatever reason. Maybe it is because of my sin. Or maybe it is Him testing and strengthening my faith. The times when I feel as if I am all alone in the world and that my enemies are as numerous as the stars. Maybe I've been waiting on an answer to prayer, and the wait has turned from months to years. The doubt sets in and the self pity tries to raise its ugly head. These are the times when Satan tempts me to question the goodness of God or to question His timing, which are both sin. The temptation itself isn't sin but if I yield to it, that is when it becomes sin. Maybe there have been things said about me that are untrue and I long for the truth to come out but it doesn't come. Maybe I am weary from two different kinds of chronic pain and I feel as if I am being spiritually whittled away to nothing because I am trying to deal with the pain in my own strength instead of depending on the strength of my Strong Tower. He is ready and willing to give me the grace to deal with the pain if only I will seek His face and ask Him. Any number of things that can cause grief and confusion is the perfect reason to get on my face and start recounting all of His tremendous blessings upon my life. I just start thanking Him for every single thing I can think of. Yes there are the really big things like mine and my son's salvation. And of course the blessing of getting to work in kindergarten Sunday school together. There is my job, my dependable vehicle, my perfect little apartment overlooking the Mississippi River. On and on I could go with the big stuff. But there's also a place to worship and thank Him for the little things that make up so much of my life. How about the hug and kiss of a child? How about hearing the voice of a little girl in my class telling me that she loves me? How about the grace He gives me to speak and be kind to someone who won't even give me the time of day in the elevator at my apartment building? How about 2 weeks ago when He gave me the money to buy a hamburger and french fries at my favorite restaurant. And the fact that He gave me a perfectly beautiful day and not too much pain in my body to walk to that restaurant! How about the money He provided me this week through overtime to buy a bag of groceries for our church's food giveaway to the needy? SO MANY THINGS!! And I'll tell ya, once I start thanking Him, mentioning each blessing one by one, the tears of pain soon turn to tears of JOY!! Joy unspeakable! And before I know it, songs of praise and adoration start spilling from my lips. How can we ever doubt the goodness of God with all the blessings He bestows on us?
Beloved, if Jehovah God has saved you, you have all the reason in the world to praise His holy Name! What if God decides to never do another thing for me in the way of His blessings the rest of my time here on this earth? What if He never answers another one of my prayers and never makes His face to shine upon me the rest of my days? What if my life is nothing but pain and hardship? Is He still not the most gracious God, more gracious and merciful than I could ever ask, imagine or deserve? We deserve hell, every single one of us. If He is gracious and merciful to save us, isn't that reason enough to praise Him night and day for the rest of our lives? We live and act and think as if God owes us something more. He doesn't owe us His mercy, His grace, His kindness! It's all undeserved favor! It's because of our selfish pride that we can feel as if God is not being good to us because He is allowing hard things in our lives. But have you ever thought about the fact that maybe the hard things ARE His blessings? If you have the right heart about them, and the right response to them, then you will be blessed! And you will be blessed for all time and eternity. If you use your pain and struggles as a witness to others who may go through the same, and you give all the glory to God, then you will be blessed on this earth and rewarded in heaven. Some of those blessings may come in the form of answers to prayer. Maybe He will bless you with the grace of tremendous wisdom and discernment that keeps you from falling into certain sins. It could be a blessing of more ability to praise Him through every single trial and hardship you face. It is His grace that gets us through. Many of the most wonderful blessings God gives are spiritual. When you respond correctly and in a way that honors God to the light He gives you, then He will give you more light. It's all in His sovereign hands. He knows what He's doing with you. Trust Him. Praise Him even when you think nothing is going right and you can't seem to find your way through the temporary darkness. Just trust Him and He will make your paths straight.

Watch Your Toes

I know I am getting ready to step on a lot of toes but it is something that God wouldn't have me keep silent about. The news broke today that Oprah will have her last show in 2011. This should be great news to the true Christian. The sad part though is that Oprah will continue in other media ventures and continue her ungodly influence long after her show is over. Even though she won't admit it, she has been converted to the New Age Movement. If you doubt anything I say, just google Oprah and religion. You can also go to UTube and type in "Oprah's view of Jesus" and watch for yourself the things she has said to blaspheme the Name of God. Many guests on her show are New Age and that is the religion she promotes. She promotes pluralism constantly. When questioned one time by a member of her audience on Jesus being the only way to heaven Oprah responded, "There couldn't be only one way...Does God care about your heart or whether you called His son Jesus?" Oprah, the answer is YES!! The bible makes it clear that Jesus is the only way. In John 14:6 Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". She has guests on her show like Shirley MacLaine, M. Scott Peck, James Van Praagh, Marilyn Fergusen and many more. She heavily promotes Eckhart Tolle and even has religious training sessions hosted by him. Read James 3:1 on stricter judgement for teachers. None of these people believe that Jesus is the only way. Oprah says that you have to be more open minded than that. Oprah says that if Jesus claims exclusive Divinity, that would make Him the biggest egotist that ever lived. I shudder when I hear people talk like that about the King of kings and Lord of lords.
But you may argue that Oprah has done a lot of good for others. All of the good that she does is filthy rags in the eyes of God!(Isaiah 64:6) Oprah's own goodness is worthless! And no amount of money can buy the righteousness of Jesus Christ. That is one of the things that has increased her popularity through the years; her generosity. But now that she has an audience in the millions on a daily basis, she uses her show to promote blasphemy against a holy God. Every single thing she promotes on religion is an assault against Jehovah. If Oprah doesn't come to Christ and be saved, she will be tortured forever and ever in hell for all of the millions of people she has lead astray.....just like Joel Osteen. He teaches a different message than her, but is still leading millions down the path to hell. Jesus will hold them accountable. The blood of souls will be on their hands and put on their account to be paid for in hell for all eternity. These people live for their father the devil. It is their mission in life to deceive people, even if you think that they don't realize what they are doing. Some of you will argue that you don't accept all of her teachings, you just like some of the other kinds of topics on her show. If you are a true child of God, you have no business watching a single show of hers, or even turning her show on. Please read 2 Corinthians 6:14-17. Light and darkness have no part in each other. Righteousness and lawlessness have nothing in common. Why would you even want to associate yourself with someone who is an enemy of God, an enemy of the cross of Jesus Christ? These passages don't deal with marriage only. It goes for any relationship where you are trying to mingle good with evil, a lie with the Truth. Read Isiah 5:20. It is critical to remember for Oprah and those who lead the masses astray. As 2 Cor. 6:17 says, "Come out from among them and be ye separate"!!! Beloved, you have no business letting anything a heretic says enter your mind and heart. Some babes in the faith would not even be able to discern the difference between the lies and the Truth. Jesus and Paul both warn about leaven. Read 1 Cor. 5:6 for the warning about a little leaven and how it leavens the whole lump. You can't just take a little truth and try to filter out the lies. That is a very dangerous thing to attempt. Jesus spoke of the leaven of the Pharisees. Read Matthew 16:6, Mark 8:15 and Luke 12:1. These are all warnings. It breaks my heart when I hear people who claim the name of Christ talk about liking to listen to different preachers and teachers, like Todd Bentley, T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar and so many others who teach a false gospel; the prosperity gospel. People who listen to these heretics always say the same thing...they just take some parts of the message and disregard the rest. This is so incredibly dangerous, beloved! Jesus never advised people to listen to what the pharisees taught because some of it was good and lined up with God. They had some truths of God but Jesus warned against them completely. He laid them and their teachings flat!! He called them vipers, hypocrites, white washed tombs, ect. His anger BURNED against them for leading the masses astray while claiming to be children of God. He told them that they were of their father the devil. So are these false teachers and preachers today. And if they do not repent and ask Jesus to save them, they will burn in hell for their sins against a holy God and for leading so many of their followers along with them straight to hell. Of course some of what false teachers and enemies like Oprah say is going to ring true! It's like a burrito. You have the tortilla which may represent the truth but then it is stuffed full of all the lies and heresy against a holy God. Unless you know your bible backwards and forwards, you can't always discern the lies. And if you are a child of God and you DO know your bible backwards and forwards, you wouldn't even WANT to associate yourself with those heretics in any way, shape, or form. There's a Christian lady named Lysa Terkeurst. Focus on the Family broadcasted her speaking on adoption and giving her testimony to a group of ladies. I loved it. It touched my heart so much that I called and ordered it. I passed it along to Joshua and he loved it also. Several months later I heard it advertised that she was coming to Memphis. As soon as the ad started I got very excited. As I continued to listen it talked about the fact that she had been on Oprah. She was using Oprah's fame to bring women to hear her testimony. It is not the only time I have heard something about her promoting herself and connecting herself with being on Oprah. My heart fell. There was no way in the world I wanted to go and listen to someone speak on God who felt like they had to use Oprah's popularity to promote themselves and everything they wanted to say...no matter how noble the cause. Joshua felt the same way. This woman compromised the name of Jesus to go on the Oprah show to talk about matters of God. WOW!! Horrible, and it had to grieve the heart of Jesus. It had to anger a holy, righteous God. Does Lysa not know that God is big enough and can promote her testimony and her worthy cause without using an enemy of His? Does she not realize that God can cause the whole world to hear His message spoken through her if He so chooses, and he doesn't need Oprah's platform to do it? What does darkness and light have to do with each other? How could she prostitute her message of Jesus on the set of a blasphemer? This is serious. It has to be a horrible offense against the holy God of this universe! And she has a link from being on the Oprah show on her blog. She has a big display on her page advertising her appearance on Oprah. She is obviously very proud of this. When she tours the country, she makes it known that she is a speaker that has "been on the Oprah show". It would be like a married preacher going to a strip club to have sex with all the strippers in order to preach the gospel to them while in the middle of the sex act. I see it as no different. And if you think that is a hard stand to take against a child of God, read the Old Testament. See what God had to say about His people prostituting themselves against His holy Name. Some of His language is very graphic and you can tell how His anger BURNS against His children who do this.
You have to care about what you allow into your life and where you go and what you do and what you say if you claim the name of Jesus Christ. And this is so very critical because the world is watching you. Beloved, you have to guard what you allow to go into your eyes, ears, mind and heart. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He cannot have anything to do with such darkness from the pit of hell. You grieve Him terribly when you watch Oprah and those like her. God does not allow us to pick and choose what truths of His we want to follow. He doesn't let us mingle Satan with Himself. Think about it this way. You may say that most of Oprah's shows are harmless and completely off of the topic of religion. But if you aren't discerning enough to realize the fact that you have no business watching her in the first place, then you won't have the wisdom to know the difference in all of the lies verses the Truth. Suppose you have a tea that you really love drinking everyday. Now suppose you put a little drop of poison in your cup every time you drink your tea. You might think that just a little drop of poison won't hurt you. But it does, it harms your body to some degree. And if you keep ingesting it day after day, it will eventually kill you. At the very least you will be extremely ill. It's the same thing with watching Oprah. It's like selling your soul to the devil. It is such unfaithfulness to the One who died for you. Don't you know how much you hurt the heart of Jesus every time you enjoy a show of someone who is His bitter enemy?? Please, please think about it. There is no way that you can spend time out of your life watching and enjoying someone who assaults the holy Lamb of God and not be held accountable for it. It is unfaithfulness to the One who had to go to the cross and DIE for that sin. And He loves you so much that He, even knowing that you were going to find pleasure in His enemy, chose to suffer and die for you so that you could live with Him for all eternity. Would you dream of being unfaithful to your spouse? Then precious one, don't be unfaithful to your heavenly Husband. Take a stand for His honor, and bless His heart today by refusing spiritual unfaithfulness, and choose this day Whom you will give your undying love and devotion to.

No Pity

Despite all of Joshua's hurts and struggles, I never feel sorry for him. He wouldn't want you to either. And if you claim to be a child of God, and tell me about your pain and struggles, I won't feel sorry for you either. Why would I pity what God may be doing to bring about His glory, the good of others through you, and your good? I think being faithful to your Master means helping your brothers and sisters in Christ see God in the midst of their trials and struggles. Sometimes we can pity a fellow Christian to death, and pity them right out of the will of God. It might just seem like the thing to do when someone you know is having a pity party and are trying to get you on their band wagon. Most of us fall into that because frankly we don't really know what else to do. Someone is in pain? Hey, just pray for God to remove it. They are struggling with something that makes no sense. Join in their confusion? NEVER! When are we ever going to love them enough to help them seek God's opinion about their troubles? When are we going to quit offering prayers for our fellow slaves of Christ just because God has allowed something in their life that they don't like? Why do we look at hard things as something to pray away? I love how my precious niece Casey puts it. She says she never pities someone who is hurting so bad that they are at rock bottom or close to it. She says it wasn't until she hit rock bottom and in her desperation, cried out to Jehovah God to save her. She had to come to the end of herself first. In the world's eye, horrible things in your life are just that...horrible. But God knows that it isn't until then that you finally start seeing your need for a Savior! My niece was living a self-sufficient life thinking that she could handle all of her problems by herself. The Lord knew she couldn't but in His sovereign love allowed things to get as bad as they could get. Then and only then did she, in total brokenness, reach a tiny trembling hand up to the mighty Hand of the God of this universe. She had to admit her complete failure in being a "good" person. She had to come to grips with the fact that all of her goodness was as filthy rags in the eyes of a holy God. (Isaiah 64:6) She confessed her sins and her desperate need for a Savior. That is when salvation came to Casey. Hallelujah! Oh God how I praise You for saving my beautiful niece! And I also praise You for every struggle in her life that brought her to the foot of the cross. I am thankful for every pain she endured and every single failure in life that You, by Your sovereign will allowed her to have. God had to break her all the way down before He could save her and do anything in her life. She had to admit that she didn't have it all together and was completely incapable of doing ANYTHING in her own strength. Oh how her Savior loves it when she admits her weakness. That is when King Jesus can put His glorious strength on display! (2 Cor.12:9) Then He will get all the praise and glory, as He should. Casey is a humble servant of Jesus who knows how to praise her sovereign God for whatever He allows in her life. We never have to fear being weak. All fear and doubt should be left in the past of every child of God. One of the most wonderful promises in the entire bible for a weak, struggling, fearful Christian is Isaiah 41:10.
Just because Casey is now a child of the King of kings and Lord of lords doesn't mean that her troubles are over. She has many trials and struggles. God uses these things in Casey's life to grow her closer to her Master, her heavenly Husband. He uses them to strengthen her faith. He allows her struggles to be a beautiful witness to others who are going through some of the same hardships. She can point to a Savior Who cares. She can proclaim, even through her tears, a Father Who knows her name and chose her before the foundations of the world. (Eph.1:4) She will have pain and hardships until she is called home to be with her Lord. But she can rest in the arms of her heavenly Husband right here and now. Just as you can, beloved. When she is hurting and the world seems to be throwing her curve balls left and right, she can call out "Abba Father" and He will always hear her. Psalm 56:8 shows her that our God puts all of her tears in His bottle. Psalm 9: 12-13 says that her Master and Shepherd does not forget the cry of the afflicted! And His loving eyes see everything done to her by those who want to cause her harm for her devotion to Jesus Christ! Wow, what a promise for the hurting and broken to remember. Is that you, precious one? God loves you. He sees your pain and He knows about every tear you cry. He wants to hold you close. If you've never given your life to Christ, please come to the cross. Who else has ever loved you so much that they died for you? Jesus did. Seek God, turn to Him and He will never turn you away!

Joshua's Walk

I want to talk some more about my son and his walk with his Savior, Master and King. Joshua's life is such a tremendous example of how God never wastes our pain. No matter if it is physical or emotional, He never lets it go to waste. He has a reason for all of our struggles, trials, disappointments, pain, grief, all the things that this world classifies as unfair. It is so cool how a child of God can look back on things of childhood or times past, that used to be a source of such enormous pain or confusion, understanding that God knows the beginning from the end, and see how God used it for His glory later on in their life. That is exactly what Joshua's life is a testament of. I'll first talk about his emotional pain. Joshua has always been a very lonely person. He is my only child on this earth. His dad and I divorced when he was just a baby. He had another son when Joshua was 8 but by Joshua's own admission, they haven't really been close until a few months ago. They love each other but just lived in separate worlds. As I've written before, Joshua was never able to make friends. He was always the kid that was picked on and beat up. Others hurt him so very bad. He's had some girlfriends but never did the normal popular high school boy dates/prom thing. He hasn't dated since getting saved last year. Even though there are lovely young Godly ladies in our church, as of yet God hasn't put one in his path. He told me recently that he has 200 people in his phone yet has never had any close bonds. He hasn't been close to family in a lot of years through no fault of his own. Him and his dad have never really been close either. He has just always felt excruciatingly alone in this world. Although he tried, he wasn't very good at sports. He knows first-hand what hurt and rejection feels like. People can be so cruel, and he has had more than his share of the cruelest of treatment. But you know, God knew this was going to be Joshua's life. We were talking about it recently when my son was grieving for some of the boys he knows at church that seem so sad and lonely. Some of these boys have a lot of pain in their lives from a number of different sources. We were talking about the fact that if Joshua had been the captain of the football team or the most popular boy at school, if he had all the friends, all the girls, and all the success, he would be a totally different man today. Think about it, there are boys that Joshua reaches out to that have difficult home lives, tremendous loneliness, no friends, get picked on at school, rejected by the outside world, and suffer so much pain and confusion from life in general. If Joshua had been one that had never gone through any of that, how could he have the level of compassion that he has for these boys now? He couldn't, plain and simple. He might be able to say, "Wow, that sounds tough. I'm sorry". But because of the fact that he knows deep down in his guts what these boys are experiencing, he can minister to them in a way that the "rosey life" guy couldn't. Joshua has such Godly empathy for these boys. And because it's Godly, he is able to witness to them on how to react to what they are going through in a way that honors Jesus. He can let them know that he cares deeply for their pain and at the same time tell them that God has a plan for all of it. He can talk about the goodness and mercy and compassion of a Father. He can witness and share the gospel of Jesus Christ with them, which is the most important thing they will ever hear. And they are more apt to listen to someone that they can tell genuinely understands and cares, who's walked down some of the same roads they walk. If he didn't have firsthand knowledge of all the hurt, about the best he could do in the end is tell the boys, "Hey, I'm praying for ya.". But he is able to go so much deeper than that. And he is able to give advice that lines up with the will and teachings of God.

Now to the physical pain. Joshua started having the problem with his body about 10 years ago. I spoke of it in my last post. His body stays so weak that he can hardly use his arms and legs. He had to get a hands-free phone because he can't hold his arm up very long. He has trouble holding a book. He can't hold a baby. He can't walk very far and his body requires a tremendous amount of sleep. It had always been his dream to be a police officer. When he was 19 he entered the PST program. He had the best grades in the class but his legs would not allow him to run. It wasn't that he was out of shape because he was actually in pretty good shape. He had to leave the program and give up his dream. Some people might be bitter or feel extremely sorry for themselves. Although Joshua has not been able to understand it for years, he now looks at it in an entirely different light since getting saved last year.
God blessed Joshua with getting to go to Camp Tsungani this past summer as a counselor. There was a mountain hike that the kids could choose to go on each day. Joshua was not assigned this task as a counselor but had the option of doing it during his free hour. He met a boy there at camp who asked Joshua to please go with him on the hike up the mountain. This hike is only 10 or 15 minutes long...nothing too hard. Joshua said a silent prayer to God, just telling God that he only wanted His will for making it up the mountain trail. He didn't simply ask God to give him the strength, he said only if it was God's will. Nobody knew his physical condition. So with the confidence that God was in control no matter what the outcome, Joshua started the climb. He made it!! It was God's will and good pleasure to allow His son Joshua to make it the whole way! And then God did it again a second day with another boy that came along!! Oh, God is so good! It would have seemed like a silly little thing to most normal healthy people, but to Joshua it was huge, and it was the greatest. Now, let's just think about something else. Let's say that next year God allows another little boy to come to camp that has a dad who is abusive to him. Maybe this dad was a big football star and his son is physically weak and incapable of much along the line of sports. Maybe this boy doesn't even like sports because his weakness always causes him to fail at anything he attempts, when all he's trying to do is please his dad. But the harder he tries and fails the more his dad ridicules him. Maybe his dad is the only example he will ever have of how a father treats a son and maybe Joshua will be the only man ever put in his life to show him different. What if this boy has always been angry with God for making him have to live with a weakness that results in his dad never being proud of him. What if he blames God for his weakness, and thinks if God had made him strong, his dad wouldn't be so mean to him. What if he hates God and blames God for his having to endure the look of disappointment and disapproval in his dad's eyes every time he fails. What if he is on the verge of bitterness that grows inside of him like a cancer. What if he doesn't even want to live anymore, that it seems to him like death would be a better option than having to hear another cruel word from the one man on this earth who's supposed to love him. Now suppose Joshua asks this boy to go on the hike and this boy agrees but is afraid because he is scared of how Joshua might tease him, or be disappointed in him for not being able to make it all the way without having to stop. Suppose he is afraid of seeing that same rejection is Joshua's eyes. Maybe he has become quickly attached to Joshua and doesn't want the new found friendship to end in disapproval from the eyes of yet another man. Now he and Joshua start the climb and this boy is in pain and too weak to continue but afraid to stop. Of course Joshua, before starting the climb, will have offered a silent prayer to his Father the same as he did last year about His will on making it up the mountain. What if God's answer is "No". So Joshua has to tell the boy, "I'm sorry, but I have to stop and rest. You see, I have this problem with my body that makes me very weak. But God is so good to me. I love Him and I praise Him for it anyway." And of course Joshua is GLOWING with love and praise for God, his wonderful Father, in spite of his inability to get up the mountain. Then Joshua notices tears starting to well up the the boy's eyes. With compassion, he asks him if he would be willing share the reason why he's crying. The boy feels comfortable enough and knows it is ok to open up and let Joshua in on the life he endures with a dad who mistreats him. He tells Joshua that he thinks his dad actually hates him for not being the son he was hoping to have. And he tells him about his feelings towards God and wants to know how Joshua is able to be happy, and able to praise God even though it is God Who allows Joshua to be weak. An opportunity for witnessing about his gracious Father, his wonderful loving Savior, laid out on a silver platter for my son. Now what if Joshua, instead of praising God and being joyous, being angry with God for not getting him up the mountain, had acted mad or upset? The boy would have felt like it was directed at him. He would have assumed that all men are the same as his own dad, and it might have solidified his bitterness towards God. They would have both come down from the mountain feeling terrible. But instead, they come down changed people. One, being told about a Father in heaven Who loves him and a Savior Who died for him, gives his life to Christ. The other having seen yet another glorious example of the never-ending goodness of a holy God, finds yet another reason to never question God's "no" answers! And God, as He should, would be glorified!
My point is this, no matter what Joshua's life entails or what he continues to endure, God is aware. God is in control and uses every single bit of it for His glory. Joshua is so humbled by the life God allows him to lead, in being chosen to suffer for the cause of Christ, to the glory of God the Father. Jesus didn't have an easy, popular life. Joshua's only desire is to be like his Master and King. Our Savior suffered more than we could ever imagine and He did it all because He loves us so much. The bible makes it clear over and over that suffering for the cause of Christ is an honor. Maybe you are suffering things now that you can't find rhyme or reason for. Maybe it doesn't seem to tie in with anything else in your life. But if you are a child of God, He wants you to endure it patiently, not questioning His perfect choice. If you belong to Him, nothing happens in your life outside of His sovereign will. Maybe He has allowed Satan permission to hurt you in any number of ways. Maybe God Himself is causing something painful in your life. No matter what the source, God is ultimately in control. He is the Sovereign of your life. He wants you to quietly in complaining but boisterous in praise, not try to make sense of it or complain to anyone who will listen, but to just trust Him. He wants you to turn to Him and praise His holy name, no matter what. You grieve His heart every time you ask the "why" questions. Do you feel as if you can't trust the One Who spoke and created the world? There will never be a time in your life when you know more or better than God does. If you belong to Him, He has the right to choose whatever He wills for your life. But always remember that it is for His glory and your good. (Romans 8:28) He is the Potter and you are the clay. (Isaiah 45:9) At the very second He decides enough is enough, He will step in and He will change it. Oswald Chambers said that some of what God allows in your life that is hard doesn't have anything to do with you per say, it has to do with equipping you in order for you to be of use to someone else. So in other words, if you are going through a horrible trial and you are learning God's lessons left and right, don't assume that it is because you are being punished or because God doesn't care or has forgotten about you. God may be doing it to you for no other reason than to build you up to be a great help in time of trouble for your brother or sister in Christ. Or He might be doing it in order to allow you to be salt and light to someone who is still in darkness. Beloved, you may be suffering with something that God decides to never change or remove. Does this make Him any less holy or worthy of your praise? No, no, a thousand times no. Your pain or lack of understanding of His purposes in no way negates His goodness and holiness. So no matter what you are suffering, no matter what your trials or struggles, praise Almighty God for them. Seek His face on His will in every single one of them. Trust Him, thank Him, lean on Him and He will see you through. And if you are blessed, truly blessed, He will allow you to suffer for His kingdom, honor and glory. There is no better blessing offered to a child of the King of kings and Lord of lords!

Joshua's Story

It's so awesome how God chooses to let family members experience some of the same things in their walk with Christ. Although Joshua and I have our different roads that we walk with Jesus, some roads are the same. Working together in Children's Ministries at church on Sundays is one of them. But there's another one that God is just starting to give us, one that we didn't see coming. I had prayed for it, fervently, but Joshua was gloriously blindsided by it. It's the ministry of proclaiming Satan's big lie about false security in salvation. What a great story this is.
When I got saved in 2003, the very first thing God revealed to me was that I had not been saved before that day, and that there were those I loved who weren't saved either. The wonderful news was that I was saved, but the horrifying news was that I knew my precious son was not. It's interesting because Joshua "came to Christ" at the same age as me, 13. This is what we thought anyway. Both of us at the same age. When Joshua was 13 he went to Victory Valley church camp. He came home and said that he had gotten saved. "Oh, that's nice", was my response. Sound familiar? I had heard that from MY parents when I came home at 13 and proclaimed that I had gotten saved. Anyway, when Joshua told me, I didn't really think it was anything that great since all good people go to heaven, right? He threw away his CD's that had bad words in them. He even got baptised. I didn't bother to take that Sunday off of work to be there for him. Besides, why waste a vacation day for something like that? Joshua went on to live his life for the next 14 years thinking that he was "in". Hey, he had a feeling and said a prayer. It didn't matter that he lived like the devil for the next 14 years, and I didn't live any better. In fact, I lived a horrible life in front of my son. He grew up and became involved in plenty of wicked sins but still proclaimed salvation, just like I did. After I got saved and realized that my son wasn't, I tried to talk to him about it. He didn't want to hear it. Hey, I was the same way before salvation. If someone had tried to tell me that I wasn't saved, I would have cussed them out and asked them who they were to judge me!! There's your sign right there. And so it was with Joshua also. He was somewhat patient with me the first time. I made several attempts to try and reason with him. One time he agreed to recount his salvation experience to me. He told me this story: He was at camp and they would sing songs in the auditorium. One day they were singing songs that he really didn't know. Then they started singing "Awesome God" and he said he got excited because he knew the hand motions! He said he felt really good and then felt something in his heart and then went to a lady and told her. He said that he really couldn't think of anything to pray so the lady lead him and he repeated it after her. He said it felt like a warm blanket wrapped around him. Beloved, do you hear all the "feelings"? He was completely convinced that he had been saved. When I tried to talk to him about the life he had been living all those years since 13, he got defensive, very defensive. The very last time I tried talking to him about it he was lying on my couch and I got on the floor right up next to him. I asked him not to take my word for it. I asked him to do one simple thing for me, take it to the Lord. "Joshua Honey, just ask God about your salvation." He got really mad at me and told me that we would never have that conversation again. He forbid me from ever bringing it back up. So from the age of 24 until a year ago, we never discussed it again. I had pushed him too far and the door had been closed. Actually, I had it slammed in my face. I obeyed his wishes and didn't try again. I did what I could do, I prayed. I pleaded at the throneroom of grace and mercy every single day from April 2003 until late 2008 for my son's salvation. I had already come to terms with my mother. God had already given me the wisdom where Mom was concerned that I wrote about last time. So, I took Joshua's salvation to Jehovah God. I praised Him every single time I prayed for my son. I told God that He was so good and holy and righteous. I told Him that even if Joshua spent eternity in hell, He was still the same wonderful God, and I still praised Him no matter what. I told God that He was holy and His decisions were perfect. But I pleaded every single day with tears for my son's salvation. And then about a year ago, God drew my child to Himself. Those of you who know my son personally know that he is a Godly man who loves the Lord with all of his heart. You have seen how he serves his Master and King with such joy. You've witnessed how God is blessing and using Joshua. But what you don't know is who that man, who went by Josh, was a little over a year ago. Although I have Joshua's blessing in writing this, I'm not going to get into his sins from before salvation. I'll just tell you that he, by his own admission, was a very hateful, wicked man who couldn't care less about anyone else in the world but himself and me. He didn't care about children at all and had no patience for them. Can you imagine? I'm talking about this man whom God has obviously blessed with a tremendous heart for those precious kids, and a wonderful gift of ministering to every child that God puts in his path. Before salvation, life had been hard on Joshua, and it showed in his actions coming from a wicked cold heart. He had been hurt too much growing up and he didn't have much of anything to give to anybody. There was NO, NO, NO fruit of the Spirit in Joshua's life. There was NOTHING of God anywhere inside that man. Satan had him completely blinded. And then He came to Christ. It was sometime several months ago that I decided to ask him when he thought his salvation took place. He said that he was sure that it had taken place at 13, but that he was just doing his own thing the last 14 years. He said that God just simply brought him back. When I asked him to recall all of the things that had been in his life all these years, he just said that it didn't change anything about the fact that he thought salvation came to him at 13. It bothered me because it seemed like such blasphemy to talk about God being on the inside of him and living like the devil for all those years. To attach God's name to all of that wicked sin was just so very wrong. I asked him, "So what you're saying is that the Holy Spirit was just too busy to make ANY changes in your heart and life at all over the last 14 years? What, you were just so far down His list that it took Him 14 years to get around to you, and around to doing ONE SINGLE THING in your life and to change you in the least???" Yep, I did, I said that to him because I am more concerned about blasphemy against God than I am my son's feelings. Period. I was not going to spare Joshua's feelings at the expense of my God's holy Name. He didn't get mad at me this time. It was so wonderful to see a man who now had the Holy Spirit living on the inside of him and to witness God's love coming out in him as a result of his salvation. Anyway, he really didn't have an answer except the same one, that he was kinda doing his own thing but now he was ready to live for Jesus because God had called him back. I told him that I felt as if God had called him for the first time but that I was just so very thankful that God called him at all!! AMEN? So, I dropped the conversation with my son but took it to God and continued to pray about it for the next several months. Joshua gets such a kick when I tell him he better watch out because I pray a lot of things for him and God is in the habit of answering them! Anyway, I told Joshua that we would know the truth someday in heaven so I would drop the conversation, and so I did, but continued to take it to my Lord often. I knew it had been true for me and knew it was true for Joshua, but maybe he would never realize it. But you see, God didn't want Joshua to stay in the place of thinking that he had been saved when he really hadn't. There's a HUGE ministry out there. There are millions of Americans who think they are saved when in fact they are not. God has called me to this ministry, and He raised my son up also, to come alongside me. And the cool thing is that if I had continued to beat Joshua over the head with it until he just got sick of me, it wouldn't have been so precious to him the way God revealed His truth to him about his salvation. God is so faithful, and true to His nature. Without me saying another word to Joshua over the last several months, and Joshua just going on in his walk with Christ, the Holy Spirit has been revealing so many things to my son to show him that he was, in fact, not saved before last year. And what is so important about that is the fact that not only has God shown him, but He's placed a huge desire inside of Joshua to make this a critical part of whatever ministry God puts or continues him in. And I didn't have to do anything but pray, which is the best thing. God took care of the rest. He has been so lovingly showing Joshua the difference in a true saving faith and a lie from the pit of hell. And He has placed the desire inside of my son to be baptised!! People, this is something, without talking about it to Joshua, I have been praying fervently for. My son was baptised at 13 but was not baptised after salvation, which is an act of obedience on the part of the redeemed. I prayed for this because I wanted it for my son, and I wanted it for myself. I was too wicked to care the first time he got baptised. So I just quietly prayed and asked God to do whatever His will was. Next thing I know, Joshua is totally filled with all of these truths, God's truths! This is GOD STUFF!! This doesn't just happen. Joshua was completely convinced that he was saved at 13 and that he could, with the Holy Spirit of God living on the inside of him, live like the devil. And what is so cool is that Joshua has first-hand experience with the "say a prayer, sign a card" salvation. Beloved, it's not the words you say in a formula prayer that saves you. Yes, some do come to the cross that way. But there's no magic formula. And just because you have an emotional moment before you say some prayer doesn't mean that you are going to heaven. In fact, it concerns me when I hear of people trying to lead other people to Christ simply by getting them all worked up with emotion. So many people are deceived into thinking that they have a true saving faith just because they shed a few tears and said some prayer. Then they go off and live the rest of their lives in total sin, never giving Jesus another thought, thinking they are saved. Or they pretend in public to have a life with God when they live like the devil in private. And another thing that is so wonderful is that Joshua now realizes that he didn't have to say some special prayer when he truly got saved. It was the same for me. The night I got saved, I thought I had been saved since I was 13 and now I was 42. I was thinking that all I was doing was coming back to God after being away for 29 years. I was talking to God and I was telling Him that I was so very sorry for the way I had been living. I told Him that I was so ashamed of all the horrible names I had called him after my mother's death, and even thinking that He didn't exist. I confessed my wicked lifestyle and all the evil sins I had committed through the years. I told him that I was so very sorry and didn't want to live that way anymore. I told Him that I wanted Jesus to be the Lord of my life, that I needed Him so bad. So please God, forgive me and help me. I only want you, Lord. And that was the night I was saved. Joshua had the same experience, exactly. At 13 he said some prayer. At 27 he had a conversation with God in a prayer that saved him. It wasn't a formula prayer for either one of us. It was repentance. It was acknowledging our sin against a holy God and a desire for Him...a turning from sin to God. And God was faithful. He saw our hearts instead of just hearing a prayer. He first gave us the faith. Even the faith comes from God. We can't claim any part of saving ourselves. It is 100% God. He draws us and gives us the faith to believe. He called us by His sovereign choice, and drew us to Himself. And now, He is calling us to be faithful to Him in proclaiming to anyone who will listen about Satan's false sense of security. We are so thankful because we are so very unworthy! If you ever want to hear a couple of wonderful stories about God's blessings, ask Joshua and me. But don't expect to hear about fame, wealth, or health. We have no fame, and in fact we're not liked very much by some for the tough stand we take on the hard truths of God. We just can't sit back and pat people on the back all the way to hell. Being hard on Satan's deception does not mean that we are not compassionate. Just the opposite is true. We have a tremendous compassion and concern for those who are living a life that begs for ease. Our hearts are tremendously grieved when we hear children of God ask for prayers to remove even the slightest inconvenience or sickness from their lives. Beloved, those are the things that drive us to our knees. Those things cause us to seek God more fervently. God uses all types of hurt and sickness to bring us into a closer relationship with Himself. Sometimes, it's the only way He can get our attention. Wanting these things to just go away is grievous to our Savior's heart. It goes against everything Jesus taught, and we care enough to say so, although it is such hard truths, and hard to speak up and say. But the name of Jesus is at stake! We are both financially poor and both in bad health. We NEVER pray for our health, either our own or each others'....EVER! We pray for His sovereign will and perfect plan. We never pray for money! We are faithful to God with every penny because it all belongs to Him. We never ask for any material things. We both pray to be broken bread and poured out wine for Jesus. We pray to be NOTHING, for Jesus to be everything. We pray for God to do whatever He pleases with our lives...nothing matters but His glory. We pray for Jesus to do whatever He has to or chooses to do to make us more like Himself so that He can use us for His kingdom and for His gospel, to the glory of God our Father...even if that means stripping us of anything and everything. Even if that means taking one or both of our lives. Our lives are not our own anyway, right? We belong to Christ! I'm not saying this to say "look at our lives". Joshua and I realize that there are more people than not, here in America, who struggle with thinking that if you are a Christian, life should be easy. People think that they deserve a good life. Happiness is thought of as a right here in America. Living the American dream seems to be important to Christians and non-Christians alike. But we feel as if that is not what it's all about. Every Christian is going to stand in front of Jesus and give an account for their life. This life is nothing but a blink of an eye but eternity is forever. What difference does it make what you have in this life as far as "the good life" is concerned? Every single thing we endure, in a way that honors our Master in this life, will simply be more rewards in heaven. And I believe one reward will be more capacity to praise our King forever and ever. So, whatever it takes to live for Him now and honor Him with our lives, that is exactly what we want. It really doesn't matter what that looks like. It doesn't matter if we are homeless! It doesn't matter if both of our healths continue going downhill. God knows about it. If God wanted to change our health, He could do it in a split second. But these things that are hard in our lives just cause us to live closer to the cross of Christ. Whatever could be wrong with that? My body is in extreme constant pain and Joshua can hardly walk a block because of a problem he has had for years. The doctors, at one time, thought it was MD, but now don't know what it is. He cannot function like the average person on a normal night's sleep. His legs barely work. He can hardly use his arms because they stay so weak. He knows that if God gives him a wife and children, he won't even be able to hold his own baby. But he praises God in spite of it and even praises God for it!! AMEN! God allows it and could change it at any time, but he knows that God uses it in his life for His glory. And he knows that when he is weak, that Jesus' strength will be manifested. That is when God gets all the glory, as He should. An easy life makes you tend to forget the One who died for you. I know I wouldn't pray NEAR as much if my life was easy, trouble and pain free. The more we suffer here on this earth, the more use we will be to our Master. You can't be very helpful to those who are suffering unless you have suffered a lot yourself! So we pray for whatever God wants to do to us to make us useful here and now. Besides, it won't last long, the pain and hardships. Before we know it, we'll be in heaven beholding the King of kings and Lord of lords! Whatever it takes, Lord, so be it. Only glorify your holy Name.

Mom's Death: God's Catalyst

It's amazing how differently I look at salvation now that I, by the grace and mercy of God, have been truly saved. The Lord makes sure that His children recognize the difference between a true relationship with very God of very God and something false. It would go against God's nature for His redeemed to stay in complete ignorance concerning His saving grace. There is no way that we mere humans, nothing more than dust and with our finite minds, could ever understand an infinite God. His children hold fast to Proverbs 3:5-7 which talks about trusting in the Lord and not leaning on our own understanding. We wouldn't want to try to understand all the aspects of an Omniscient God anyway. We realize that He is God and we are not! He tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9 that His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. As high as the heavens are above the earth, His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. So although we cannot begin to wrap our limited knowledge and finite minds around the things of God, He does give His children wisdom, discernment, and understanding about the difference of His true salvation verses a worldly false one. It wasn't until after I was saved that He opened my eyes to just how much Satan had kept me blind, for years, thinking that I was a Christian when I was nothing more than a wicked hypocrite. God used Mom's death as a catalyst to bring me to the foot of the cross. It wasn't until after I was saved, 3 years after her death, that I realized that my beloved mother was probably in hell. You know, when God saves you and opens your eyes to true salvation and takes Satan's blinders off, you look at every single person in a different light....God's light. After salvation I realized that there were people in my life that I cared about very much that didn't have a true relationship with Jesus. It hurt me and still hurts me but at that time, not to the extent of the pain of my mother. I have been praying for over 6 years now for God to absolutely break my heart for ALL of the lost souls in this world!! I have asked him to give me a heart for ANY member of my family or for those close to me who do not have a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. I want that same grief in pleading at the throneroom of grace and mercy for all of the lost like I had for my son Joshua before his salvation about a year ago, and the grief I had over my mother's eternal home, before it's too late for these people who have not come to the cross. But I have to confess this: I just don't grieve as much for some as I did for Joshua. I don't plead as often for their salvation as I did for his. And I sure don't shed as many tears for them as I did for him, and that is wicked and so very selfish! On the one hand it might be understandable because he is my child and the love you have for your children is like nothing else. But when you have GOD's love for the lost, then you will grieve for every single one of them, and pray fervently for their salvation with many tears. That kind of heart for the lost is exactly what I have been praying for, because it doesn't come naturally or easily. It is the work of the Holy Spirit in the heart of His child. The wonderful news is that God is so faithful and will answer yes to any and all prayers that are in keeping with His nature and are in line with His will. He has been changing my heart so much. When I pray for lost souls, I truly plead with tears from a broken heart for their salvation. But it's just a fact that it is easier to love some more than others. We all have those whom we are closer to. But God loves everyone and 2 Peter 3:9 says that He wishes for none to perish but for all to come to repentance. God is broken hearted over the lost. Also, it used to be easier for me to admit the lost condition of some people than it was for others. It's so very painful to see someone you love being deceived by Satan into thinking that they have genuine salvation when in fact they don't. It's hard. It's very difficult to deal with the realization and so extremely painful. It's difficult to see and face up to the fact that someone you love is living a lie and if they don't see the truth and come to repentance, they will be one of the ones that Jesus spoke about in Matthew 7:13-23. He concludes in verse 23 by saying, "Depart from Me, I never knew you". If you look at it, these people won't be lightly saying, "Oh come on Jesus, let me in". No, they will be utterly SHOCKED!! Their response will be: "LORD, LORD"!! It will be like they are saying, "How can this possibly be?? Of course I belong to You!! Look at how pious I was my whole life. Look at all the wonderful things I did while on earth! Look at all the money I tithed and gave to charities! I believed and even SAID that I was a Christian!!" And Jesus will tell them, "I don't know you, depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness"! Heart wrenching. I can't even imagine how horrible that would be! But the truth is, that would have been ME had I not been saved! Oh God, you are so gracious and merciful to me! I am completely and utterly undeserving! Who am I Lord, that You would save such a wreched soul as me? Thank you, holy God. Please show me what You want me to know about false salvation, no matter how much it grieves me for now, or how much the world hates me for speaking out about it. Please God, show me, equip me with Your truths and use me, Lord, for Your kingdom and glory, no matter what the cost! And so He does. It was and is a tremendously hard journey, but a glorious one, which God took me on and is still walking me through. It started with coming to terms with my mother's salvation or lack thereof and praising Him no matter what and no matter where she is! Once I came to realize what true salvation looks like, and what it is like, the journey took many different roads. But those roads that I traveled and continue to travel are never without my Shepherd and King going before me, always with me. God brought me from hating Him for taking my mother to saving me and then to praising Him even if she is in hell. Wow, that's quite a journey, wouldn't you say? And it is only possible with God!! These truths were not something I even knew existed or would have ever imagined for myself before He revealed it to me.

My mom was the rock of our family. She was the illumination and the one who made everything so nice. She loved her family more than anything else in her life. Everyone enjoyed coming over to the Greenslade house and especially any contact they had with Shirley Greenslade(mom). And at the holidays, she made everything perfect. She cared so very much about every single person in our family, extended family and even friends. Everyone was important and felt so special in her presence! She was such a good person. Everyone loved my mother, including me. But despite all the things in our lives that we saw as so wonderful, we never bothered to acknowledge or praise God for them. We were just happy; a normal happy family living the "good life". I guess we thought that we were just "lucky". But Mom never spoke of any of the things of God, nor lived for or acknowledged the name of Jesus. I don't know that I ever, in my 39 years before her death, heard my mom say the name of Jesus concerning anything, much less in praising Him. "God" and "Christian" was just something that we attached to our Greenslade name. What Charles Spurgeon said a long time ago hit home with me. He said that a good name is of little value if you are indeed dead in trespasses and sin! Wow that's it and sums it up perfectly.

After Mom died, I cursed God and literally called Him every name in the book! I told Him just how much I despised Him for taking the only person in this whole world who truly loved me. My feelings are not a statement of fact, they're just how I felt. (of course it goes without saying that my child would not be included) It's true that I always felt as if nobody loved me on this earth except for her. And although she was very hard on me and stayed so extremely disappointed in me, I still knew that she loved me. And then God took her. After a long phase of despising and spitting in the face of the One who took her life, I moved on to a period of doubt of God's very existence. A close family member explained it to me this way: People are told at a young age that there is a God, just like they are told that there is a Santa Claus. Kids are brainwashed into believing the fairy tale. If they didn't have young impressionable minds, they would never believe something so stupid! And once they get older, they realize that there is no God just like there is no Santa Claus. That's it, God isn't even real. I stayed there in my thinking but only for a while. You see, God had chosen me before the foundations of the world.(election) Read Ephesians 1:4-6. God was not going to leave me in unbelief and the Holy Spirit started working in my life. God willing, another day I'll write about my salvation experience in depth but today I'll just say that after the denial of His existence, shortly thereafter I repented of my sins and was saved by God. God says in Exodus 33:19 and Paul later quotes it in Romans 9:15 "I will have mercy on whom I'll have mercy and compassion on whom I'll have compassion!". God had mercy and compassion on me in choosing this unworthy sinner for salvation! Hallelujah, praise You God!
Immediatly upon conversion He started showing and teaching me His truths. I was a clean chalkboard and I was a sponge. The Holy Spirit gave me the desire to know Jesus and learn the things of God. I was starting from scratch and wanted to be filled up with Him. He showed me things about my life before salvation and about the fact that I was NOT saved before April 6, 2003, no matter what I claimed for all those years. It wasn't long before He brought me around to dealing with the fact that my precious mother, unless there is something that I don't know at the very end of her life, was not saved either. She was a wonderful woman, but all of her "wonderfulness" is filthy in the eyes of a holy God. The only way for her to be seen as righteous in the eyes of the Father is for Him to see her through the righteousness of Jesus Christ. We have to be dressed in the righteous robes of Jesus to stand before a holy God. We cannot stand before a holy God in our own goodness or righteousness. We have none. God cannot even look upon sin, for He is holy and pure. He says that the wicked will NOT inherit eternal life.(1 Corinthians 6:9-11) I went through a period of terrible grief over the lost condition and the realization that my mother, unless salvation came to her on one of her last days, was in hell for all time and eternity. But God wants His children to understand His holiness, His perfect holiness. God is all good, and He is all love. He is a righteous holy God. There will not be one soul in heaven who did not come to the cross of Jesus, no matter how "good" of a person they were while here on this earth. Jesus says in John 14:6 " I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." The people who think that all it takes to get into heaven is to be a good person here on earth are dead wrong! Those who teach that there are many ways to heaven are heretics spreading lies straight from the pit of hell!! I can't stress that enough. There is only ONE WAY to heaven, and that is through Jesus Christ!! No exceptions! Are you listening, Oprah?
God wanted me to see and understand His holiness and His perfect right to do as He pleases. He is God and who are we to question Him? We all deserve hell. But He so graciously chose to have mercy and compassion on some and save them. However that does not take away the responsibility or guilt of the sinner in hell. Our finite minds cannot reckon the two: election, compared to verses like 2 Peter 3:9 or the "whosoever will" passage. If my mother is in heaven, she is there by the grace and mercy of God, having been chosen before the foundations of the world. If she is in hell, she is responsible and will be judged at the Great White Throne Judgement for her rejection of Jesus. I didn't know anything about any of these truths. I never even heard of election or never even knew that you could claim the name of Christ and still go to hell. If you were a good person and said you were a Christian, then that was all it took. Or if you did go to heaven, it's because you decided to choose Christ, not God choosing you. That's what I really thought for the first 42 years of my life. But God wanted me to understand Him and the truth, His truth, and to come to the place where I could and would praise Him, even if Mom is spending eternity in hell. If God winked His eye at sin just once, and let just one person, my mom, who had not repented of her sins and trusted in the Lord to save her, into heaven, then He would no longer be God!! Did you get that, beloved? If God allowed my mother or any other unsaved person to slide by and just come on to heaven, then He would NOT be God. Period! Even one exception would nullify Who He is! There would not be a God or a heaven and I might as well close my bible and live any way I want to here on this earth because it is all a lie!! So I had to decide. Did I want God to make an exception to His very nature and allow Mom into heaven even if she was not saved, or did I want to let God be God and remain true to who He is? Did I want everything about God to be a lie and not even be real? Did I wish for God to not be quite as holy as He truly is? God is God. He is holy, holy, holy! All of His attributes combine together to make Him WHO HE IS!! You can't take one single part of Him away and Him still be God! Beloved, does that make sense? We can't pick and chose what we want to believe about Him and what we want to accept and bow the knee to. We have to bow the knee to all of His truths and all of His attributes, whether we understand them or not. That is critical, oh it is so critical. God wants His children to humble themselves to any and every single thing that He decides and every part of Himself that makes Him God. You can't say, "Well, I'll take a little of this part of Christianity but I really don't want that other part because it's just too hard". Think of what I would be missing in my wonderful relationship with the King of kings and Lord of lords if I had been unwilling to submit to and praise Him for who He is and what He chooses. The bible makes it clear that in eternity believers will have no tears over anything. No sadness for ever and ever. That includes no tears or grief over those we love who will spend eternity being tortured day and night in hell for their unbelief, and being punished for every sin they ever committed. It's hard to imagine and many people have come up with theories on how this could be possible because it seems so unthinkable to not be in a constant state of grief over our loved ones in hell. Beloved, it's possible to praise Him for your loved ones who are in hell before you ever get to heaven. ALL things are possible with God!! When you realize the utter holiness of God you can, here and now on this earth, praise Him for everything. When you humble yourself in prayer and see with the spiritual eyes of your heart, the face of Jesus and realize how He suffered and died for your sins, you will praise Him with all of your being, no matter what His holiness and judgements mean for your life, or for others. It is possible to honor the name of God our Savior Jesus Christ right here on this earth. Do you really think, as His child, His redeemed, that you will actually bow before Him in heaven and not be overwhelmed with His mercy on your soul? Read Isaiah 53:4-6. Could you possibly think that you will look on the One who was pierced for your transgressions and crushed for your sins and say, "Hey thanks Jesus, but did you REALLY have to send my loved one to hell?"? NO!! Beloved, no. When you get to heaven and behold the face of the One who loved you so much, see the nail prints in His hands and the wound in His side and the love for you in His eyes, you will fall before Him in praise, adoration, unspeakable gratitude, and worship Him forever and ever! We will thank God for being who He is and all of His attributes and every single one of His perfect righteous decisions. We will praise His holy name with unending grateful worship! That's what we will do the minute we get to heaven. We will understand all of it and we will praise Him for everything. Why not see it now? Why not praise His worthy, holy Name now? As perfect, like our Savior, we will have that capacity in heaven. But He will give you that understanding and capacity right now if you will only seek His face and ask Him. He wants you to have it. He wants that humble deserving praise from you even now, precious one. How very wonderful, and a sweet smelling aroma that praise is when we can offer it to Him here and now before we have perfect sight and understanding of everything in heaven. God, oh God, if my mother is in hell, and suffering this very minute for her rejection of my Savior, then I still praise Your holy Name for who You are and what You choose and all that You do! I love you, my LORD!

Someone might read this blog and tell me that I am dishonoring the good name of my wonderful mother. It might be said that I should let her "rest in peace" and just be remembered for the great woman that she was. I know she would vehemently disagree with that and I'll show you how I can say it with such confidence. And whether she is in hell or in heaven, I'll tell you why she would want people to know about her life that didn't honor Jesus. If my mother was saved at the very end of her life and is in heaven, she will someday stand before Jesus at the Judgement Seat of Christ. That is where every Christian will be rewarded for the things they did on this earth. Read Revelation 21:4. Jesus will wipe away every tear of every single child of His before eternity begins and there will be no more death, crying, mourning or pain. Many believe, as I do, that some of those tears are ones that will be shed when we see all the missed opportunities we had on this earth to serve our Master and King like we should have, and like He deserves. And we will see our pitiful excuses for not giving ourselves completely to Him on this earth and all the ways that He would have used us for His glory if only we would have been willing to be broken bread and poured out wine for His kingdom. I know I will shed many tears for all the ways that I fail Him here and now with what He is calling me to. Paul tells us that some will enter heaven "having barely escaped the flames". That would describe my mother if she was saved right before her death. Read 1 Corinthians 3:11-15. My mother, if she was saved at the end of her life, will enter an eternity with Christ but will cry tears for the way she lived her entire life down here, never giving Jesus a thought. If she is in heaven then she has seen the face her Savior Jesus Christ and would want to tell everyone here on this earth to live for NOTHING but His kingdom and glory. She would say that pride is a wicked sin and nothing else matters but humbling yourself and bowing to the will of the One who redeemed you, paid the price for your sins, and deserves your life, your all.
Stop right here and read Luke 16:19-31. Jesus told the story of the rich man and Lazarus. We see the rich man in hell. He is in agony and begs for Abraham to send Lazarus back to earth to warn his 5 brothers so that they too won't have to come to "this place of torment". If my precious mother is in hell, I know with all my heart that she would be pleading and hoping that someone here on earth would warn those whom she loves so that maybe they won't have to come to the horrible place of torment that she is in for all eternity. "Pride?...honor?" she would say. "Forget pride and family honor!!!! Forget being too afraid of stepping on prideful toes!! GET TO STEPPIN!! Please, please, somebody tell them unless they too have to be here in these flames and torture!!" If she is in hell, her tears are never-ending for her guilt of a life of turning her back on Jesus and the horror and agony she constantly feels at the thought of anyone she loves going through the same thing for all time and eternity, separated from a holy God, punished and tortured forever. And as much as that thought of her in torment rips my guts out and makes my heart feel as if it is being shredded to pieces, the thought of NOT praising my God for His being rightous and just in her being in hell hurts me even worse. He deserves my praise, even through my pain. The bible says that there are degrees of reward in heaven and degrees of punishment in hell. The bible makes it clear that the punishment will be more severe for the ones who had the most light and opportunity to gives their lives to Christ. In other words, the heathen who never heard the name of Christ will be beaten with fewer blows than the person who knew their bible backwards and forwards, who sat in a church pew every Sunday, heard sermon after sermon and pleading after pleading to come to the cross and did nothing about it. And those who claim the name of Christ but who live like the devil will suffer more and be tortured more for eternity than the average pagan. My mother is grieved at the very thought of any of her loved ones being sent to hell and would want these things said! I know it from the depths of my heart that she is pleading with all of her being, even now, for these things to be said to ANYONE who will listen! Beloved, are you listening?

Satan's Big Lie

Jesus tells us in John 8:44 that Satan is a liar, the father of lies, and that the truth is not in him. There are so many things that Satan lies to us about. There are a couple of huge lies that Satan tells unbelievers about salvation. One lie is that they have plenty of time to give their lives to Christ. He tells them to just put it off a little longer, have fun, tomorrow will come. The other lie is that someone is already saved when they're really not. Oh he is the master of deception on this one. There are millions of people believing this lie. I know; I believed it for 29 years. I grew up in the Methodist church. I attended a Baptist junior high and a Catholic high school. Talk about confused!! I grew up in a good "Christian" home with great parents. The Methodist and Catholic churches didn't really talk about salvation but the Baptist church talked about it all the time. In chapel we would have the opportunity to come down the isle and give our lives to Christ. When I was 13 I attended a crusade. It wasn't Billy Graham but someone like him. I talked and giggled the entire time with the cute boy sitting next to me. At the end of the sermon they started playing "Just as I am" and I decided I wanted to go down and join in. I was pretty calculating even at that young age. This really sounded like the thing to do...head on down the aisle. I signed my name on a pledge card and prayed a prayer. That was it!!! That was my ticket to heaven! Now I could check that off my list and worry about other things because I had accomplished the "God" thing. When I got home I came to the den and told my parents that I got saved. They smiled and acknowledged me so I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. When my dad came into the kitchen, I think he hugged me. I thought I was "in" and that was the end of the story for the next 29 years. We did the church thing on Sundays. When we were little, dad would read us kids bible stories. Friday night was gripe night where we could complain about anything we wanted to. I would always use that time to tell on my brothers for something or another. Anyway, I've already spoken in previous blogs about some of the horrible sins of my childhood. Not one single time, in any area of our lives, were we ever directed to take anything to the Lord. Life went on. God was never a part of our everyday lives. Life was something you did and it really didn't have anything to do with God. He was never really invited to be an everyday part of what life had in store, whether good or bad. It was just kinda understood that we were good people, kind, with a house open to all of our friends....the place where everyone wanted to be.....just good people. But God was not in the equation. If you are a true child of God then you know how it is in your walk with Christ. Although you may fall away for a short time, Jesus is the most important Person in the whole world to you. A child of God can't even imagine going a day without their Shepherd, Savior and King. Every single thing that happens in day to day life makes His children want to go to Him, whether it be in praise, confession, intercession, supplication, fellowship, ect. The thought of Jesus just being something you do on Sunday is unthinkable! Every problem drives a child of His to their knees. Every blessing makes a child sing the praises of Jehovah God. If we're walking in right relationship to our Savior, then even the hard things causes us to praise the One who is worthy. Being away from your heavenly Husband is the most miserable feeling in the entire world! It's unthinkable. There's hardly going to be, if ever, a day without mentioning the name of God Almighty! But God just wasn't a part of our lives. God has to be living on the inside of you before He can truly be manifested on the outside.

Here I was claiming salvation since the age of 13 and living like the devil. I never once, in Joshua's entire life until I got saved when he was 22, prayed for him. Not once! And I called myself a Christian. It wasn't until I got truly saved that I realized I wasn't saved before. Now it's my heart's desire, given to me by God, to proclaim this lie of Satan to everyone who will listen to me. My mother got cancer when I was 38. She lived for 13 months after she found out. Not one time during those months did I utter a single prayer for her. It never even crossed my mind. Not one single person in my entire family ever suggested us praying for her, separately or together. We never, as a family, prayed together for my mother. We never gathered around her and prayed for her!! NOT ONCE!! Prayer was never even mentioned when she was enduring chemo and radiation. Her life was slowly being drained out of her and her family never came together to lift her up to Jehovah God!! It's unimaginable to me now. It makes me so very sad. It actually breaks my heart. Anyway, she and I only had one conversation about God. It was a couple of months before her death. I said to her, "When you see God, you just tell Him that I said He can kiss my ......"!! She said, "Oh I can't say that". And that beloved, was the extent of our one and only conversation about God in my entire life. I never saw my mother pray, not one single time in my life. I never saw my dad pray with my mom, never once. My precious mother whom I loved so very much was, in her own words according to my dad, "spiritual, not religious". Beloved, it's not about religion, it about relationship! And it's a relationship with the King of kings and Lord of lords. It's about submitting your life entirely to the One who purchased you with His blood. It's about being broken bread and poured out wine to every single person He puts in your path. It's about being the salt, light, love and truth of Jesus Christ no matter what that might entail, because you love Him so very much. It doesn't matter how many years you've been fooling yourself that when you die you will go to heaven just because you have some religious beliefs. It doesn't matter how nice you are or how good you treat other people. It doesn't make a difference what good things other people say about you. It doesn't matter if you walked an isle and signed a card if you didn't repent of your sins and acknowledge your desperate need of a Savior and then turn from your wicked ways. And once the Holy Spirit comes to live inside you, there will be fruit of the Spirit in your life. Jesus said in Matthew 7:16 that you will know a genuine Christian by their fruit. If you are truly saved then the bible tells you that there will be changes in your life, and these changes are drastic. You will look like, walk like, talk like, and live like your Savior. It will no longer matter to you how other people mistreat you. You will only think about how your precious Savior was so severely mistreated without ever opening His mouth. And you will remember that no matter how bad another person treats you, or what horrible lies they say about you, that Jesus, if they come to the cross, has already paid for their sins against a holy God and against you. Jesus knows everything, and nothing will escape His perfect justice for the wicked, and perfect forgiveness for the forgiven!! Amen!! Listen to what 2 Corinthians 5:17 says; "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. (NASB) You can't have the Holy Spirit of God living on the inside of you and not be changed. But please don't be fooled by what may be temporary feelings attached to a false salvation. Satan loves to fool people into thinking that what they experienced was a true conversion because sometimes our feelings can take us very far. You may experience a high for quite a while and think that what you have is salvation when it is really nothing more than a feeling. You may even act on your feeling and get involved in some good Christian activities. Satan loves this. You can fool yourselves, like I did, and my mother did, for years and years. Please read 2 Corinthians 13:5 to see what Paul pleaded about examining yourself to see whether you are in the faith, and testing yourself. In Philippians 2:12 Paul tells us to work out our salvation with fear and trembling! Wow, it's a very serious matter. It's a matter of spiritual life or death. So many people are deceived into thinking that their salvation is just fine. A good test is this: if you have to look back to some point long ago in your life to where you think you came to Christ, and not have everyday examples of the ways that God is changing and growing you more and more into the image of His Son, then ask God to show you if your salvation is real. He is faithful and He will show you. If you are reading this right now and you are not saved, then Satan is hard at work trying to convince you that this message is not for you. The cool thing is that you don't have to take my word for it and you don't have to listen to Satan. Take it to God, right now. Ask the Omniscient Jehovah to reveal the truth to you. The gates of hell cannot prevail against a holy God. Please, please seek God and ask Him to reveal the truth about your salvation. Your eternity in heaven depends on it. Do it before it's too late. In Luke 12:20 God told a greedy, wicked man who had a lot of possessions and was going to build bigger barns to hold it all: "You fool, this very night your soul will be required of you". Satan may lie to you and tell you that you are already saved. Or he may lie and tell you that you have plenty of time. You might not. Read 2 Corinthians 6:2 that says "Today is the day of salvation". You may not have anymore tomorrows. You never know if today will be your last chance. Repent and be saved! Run to the foot of the cross. Jesus is waiting for you there.