Satan never misses an opportunity

Satan has heard my prayers over the last 4 years or so concerning writing. I didn't know how I would write, what I would write, what forum, what outlet...what anything. I only knew I had a desire to do so. And Satan has spent a lot of time over the years laughing at me, and telling me all the reasons why I could never or would never. Yet I waited on the Lord. I trusted in the Lord that if He was the One who had placed the desire in my heart to write, then He would bring it to fruition, in His way, His timing, for His glory. But Satan loves to play on my doubts, fears, and weaknesses. Any true child of the King can just imagine how he has been working on me ever since yesterday when I started this blog. And so, I have done the only thing I should do at a time when the doubts and fears come...I take it to the throneroom of Jehovah God. By the way, I love teaching my Sunday kindergarten kids about all the ways to pray to, and praise God. We get on our knees sometimes, we lift our hands sometimes, we bow our heads sometimes, we look up to heaven other times, and even go outside and do these things and hear God's creation, in the form of breezes and birds, while we pray. I've shown them how to prostrate themselves before the Lord of life and glory. Prayer is so important. I love to be outside when I pray...to look up to the heavens, lift my hands, and praise the One who is worthy. But never can I see so clearly than when on my face, prostrate before my God, in the throneroom of grace and mercy!! So that is where I headed as soon as the attacks from the enemy came. I was in tears, weeping before my King, crying out to Him that I wanted NOTHING apart from His will, nothing. And I can do NOTHING in my own strength...my fears are too great. Until recently, I've been too afraid to speak out concerning the truths of God. God is growing me and strengthening me, and calling me to be faithful to His word. Obedience to where He is leading me, no matter what He chooses, when it comes to proclaiming the truths that He has taught me over the last 6 1/2 years, no matter how hard those truths may be, is where I am in my walk with my Master. So through my cries for help in discerning His will for my writing, He brought to mind something I heard singer Jeremy Camp talk about. Jeremy said that in starting to write songs for his new CD, he prayed and told God that he wanted to write songs that would bless people's hearts. And God responded back to him: "Jeremy, I want you to write songs that bless MY heart". And so he did. Look at how much those songs written to bless the heart of Jehovah God blesses the hearts of His people!! Yes, Lord, I understand. Write things that YOU lay on my heart. Write to You, write for You. You and You alone know what is Your sovereign plan for who sees this, whom you bless and grow through this...even just me, Lord. I'm reminded of one of the emails that I wrote to my teachers and helper in my Sunday school class. I wrote concerning what they do in the classroom, in their service to Jesus...how their hearts need to be prepared every week before the day begins..how Jesus sees into their hearts and knows if what they are doing is for HIS glory..and on and on I wrote about these kind of things to them, thinking it was for THEIR spiritual growth, since it was obviously from the Lord...I certainly can't write like that in my own flesh. But then, the next Sunday as I prepared to leave for church, for some reason (God's reason) I reread my own email. The tears started to flow, and my hands found their way into the air...praising my Master and King!! Those words may have been written for my teachers to some extent, but the Lord showed me who they were ultimately written for....ME. I knew I hadn't written the email myself because my flesh is wicked and my heart can't even get wrapped around the things of God sometimes. So my Master confirmed it for me that morning...yes indeed, it was HIM that wrote that email, and He wrote it to ME...the one so unworthy of His love and His many blessings...but I always was and always will be! Yes Lord, I will write. And thank you Lord, for what you are planning to say to ME, your humbled slave.