My last post was about movies. But movies aren't the only thing we watch that grieves the heart of Jehovah God. There are so many things on television that would fall into the same category as an offense to the Lord. I realize that I am stepping on many toes but I just pray that whether you like this or not, you will seek God's heart on what I say. Seek His will for your life. Ask Him if He is speaking to you from this post. Take His holiness serious, take His heart serious. Don't let the word "legalism" keep you from living a pure and holy life before your God.
The reason I know that some who read this post love soap operas is because those programs wouldn't be able to stay on the air for a hundred years if they didn't have a vast audience! What are these shows about? Murder, sex in the form of rape, adultery, fornication, homosexuality. They are about abortion, kidnapping, theft, swindle, gossip, hatred, envy, jealousy, false religion, cheating business partners, lies, and all forms of abuse. Have I left anything out? Probably. All things that are sin against a holy God! Think about it. Everything that the soap operas make grandiose is a slap in the face of the Lord of Glory! Every bit of it is an affront to the King of all kings. It glorifies the things in this life that God HATES! All of those things killed His precious Son! Sin, sin, sin. That's all those shows are about; sin against a holy God. Beloved, can God possibly, in your wildest dreams, be pleased with you if you let that junk infiltrate your mind and heart? Can God be pleased with the time that you take out of the life that He gives you to watch that filth? Every breath you breathe is a gift from God. But five days a week you reserve your precious God-given time to fill yourself with the sin of those shows.
Why do you think people are so addicted to soap operas? If the actors were portraying Godly people doing Godly things, how long do you think they would be on the air? The truth is, they would have never even been created, much less sustained on the airwaves. A life that honors the Lord isn't what people want to see. People long to peak into such sins as adultery, fornication, and all different forms of sex. People love to see the wickedness of the heart of a sinful, lost world. You can't wait to tune in tomorrow to see if she really does kill her sister who slept with her husband and bore his child. Every sin grieves the heart of God, even if it's on television in a make-believe world. We have enough sin in our lives that grieves the heart of God, that sent His son to die on the cross. We don't need to get enjoyment out of watching what someone else's wicked mind came up with to put on the air. Don't you know that only a debased, depraved heart and mind could carelessly write that trash and desire to put it out there for the whole world to watch? How do you think that makes God feel when you enjoy watching so much sin? A Christian HATES sin, because it is sin that crucified their Lord! It is sin that breaks the heart of God. It is sin that causes us to say, "Oh wretched flesh of mine that is filled with iniquity!!"
It's not just soap operas. It is prime time television. It's what we watch and call humor on late night also. It is one comedian who has committed adultery cracking jokes about another man who is guilty of that same sin. It is shows on prime time that are filled with sex, the kind of sex that is sin against a holy God. It is glorifying homosexuality. Look at all the shows like Entertainment Tonight and Extra. They are about making Hollywood look like something glorious. Look at how actors are put on a pedestal and their lives made to look so wonderful. We glorify their wicked lifestyles. People watch shows that talk about an actor's wonderful life, and they long to be like them. There are famous people who are obviously on drugs and yet their lives are made to look so great. We all have seen the stories of alcohol abuse from famous people, and yet there are so many out there who want to be like them. There are stories of wife abuse. These actors set a horrible example for our youth, and there seems to be nobody trying to stop it. There are shows like Party Heat and something about party at rehab. These kinds of shows let the viewer peak into the world of sex, booze, and all kinds of sin. These are young people doing things that dishonor not only God, but themselves and their families. Parents I'm sure are going to bed in tears knowing that their children are participating in such wicked pleasures. And don't you realize that these shows wouldn't be able to stay on the air if people weren't watching them in large numbers?
Even some athletes who live wickedly are glorified, regardless of the fact that their lives are full of sin against God, with no repentance or even thought about the One who created them. Listen to them talk and it is obvious that they couldn't care less about Jesus. And yet we raise them up and want to be like them. Men that have been arrested for abusing their wives are back in front of the camera the next week, and all is fine. There is an actor who left phone messages for his young daughter on his ex-wife's answering machine. He said the most horrible, hurtful things to his little girl, yet he is one of the most celebrated actors on tv and in films. And let a famous person be caught in sin. They deny their sin until the evidence comes out. Then, when they admit it, there is never any repentance to Jehovah God for their sin against Him. They are sorry that they got caught, period. When's the last time you heard of someone famous who got caught doing something sinful against the holiness of God, truly repent of all of his sin and ask Jesus to come into his life and save him?
Television is full of sin against God. And we as Americans are apathetic to the whole thing. Even Christians seem to have surrendered to even trying to abstain from filling our eyes, ears, hearts, minds and spirits with the sin of the entertainment world. We grieve His heart by our heroes. We teach our children that it's ok to turn a blind eye to the sin coming from our movie screens and our television sets. And if you decide that enough is enough, that you will no longer fill yourself or allow your family to be consumed by such wickedness on television, then according to some, you are just being legalistic! That's a lie straight from the pit of hell!! When is it ever wrong to so honor your Lord that you refuse to allow filth into your house? When is it ever wrong to refuse to let vile sin pass through your eyes and into your heart? Why should any true child of God ever have to be ashamed for taking a stand for the Lord's holiness? So what if you feel all alone in caring about the things that God calls sin! Do you think Jesus is going to grade your life on a curve when you are at the Judgement Seat of Christ? If God is convicting you about what you watch and what you allow your family to watch, do you think you will get a break from Jesus just because 2 billion other households were enjoying the same filth? No, if the Holy Spirit of God convicts you about what you are allowing to enter through your eye-gate, and you ignore it, then you and you alone will loose rewards in heaven for your disobedience to the voice of God. And if you are a child of God, there is no way that you can watch and enjoy sin without Him convicting you. He doesn't turn a blind eye to sin in your life just because it's something you happen to enjoy, and don't feel like you could live without. Do you feel like you couldn't live without that soap opera? Then tell God all about your struggle. Tell Him about your desire to honor His holy name, and your inability to do so. He already knows anyway. He wants to help you. He WILL help you if you will only turn it over to Him. I know first hand. There have been shows on prime time that I enjoyed in the past. But when the Holy Spirit let me know that those shows grieved the heart of my King, I prayed and asked God to take the desire for those programs from my heart. He did! Every single time with every single show, He did! HE is faithful. He will take the desire from you if you will seek His face. That's so wonderful, isn't it? Give it to God. Don't wait another day. Don't watch another one of those shows that so dishonor Him. Don't even think about the word "legalism". Think about the words "honor" and "glory" for your heavenly Father, very God of very God. Plead at the throne of all grace and mercy for Jehovah God to clean up your mind and heart and purify your soul. He will do it. And in doing so, He will get the glory, as He should.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Legalism?...What You Watch
I like to pass by the $5.00 movies when I go to WalMart. Every once in a while, I'll see something that I would like to have. One of those occasions it was the movie On Golden Pond. I hadn't seen it in years but remembered that I liked it, so I bought it. I put it in and began to watch it on a Saturday night. I live alone so there was nobody there but me and Jesus. In this movie, Catherine Hepburn and Henry Fonda are an old married couple. Her term of endearment to him is "Old Poop". Their daughter in the movie, Jane Fonda, even calls her dad by that name. That's not the problem. The problem is that both women put a curse word in front of it, and put the name of God before the curse word. As soon as it got to that part in the movie, and I heard the taking of God's name in vain, my heart was instantly grieved. In fact, it was so grieved that I took the movie out and threw it in the garbage with no regrets. I ask you, was that legalism?
On Golden Pond wasn't the only movie of mine that has gone in the garbage. It also happened to Rambo, Ghost, The Break Up, and several more. Many more, actually. And some of them were movies that I really enjoyed at one time. Some, like The Break Up, were movies that I had never seen and didn't even finish watching. But many were my old video tape movies that I used to catch on sale when Joshua was growing up. He and I used to love sitting on the couch and just watching movies. So I have, or HAD, a large collection. But now when I pull out a movie that I haven't seen in a long time, I just can't enjoy it like I used to. What's the difference? And could that difference be qualified as legalism?
I'll tell you what my personal opinion is. I think we use the excuse of legalism to justify our lack of holiness unto the Lord! Period! Is there such a thing as legalism? YES! I have been guilty of it, especially when I was a babe in Christ and learning the word of God. I would see how far short we fall in living God's word here in America. I have those in my life who struggle with legalism, and I pray for God's grace to break through. But God has grown me in understanding that it's not about a bunch of do and don'ts, it's about living my life abandoned to His will and His desire for making me more and more like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you're a child of God, isn't that your greatest desire, to be more like Jesus? Yes. And don't you long for your life to glorify Jehovah God? Yes. Doesn't it just break your heart when you know you are grieving the Holy Spirit inside you? Yes. Our ultimate goal in life is not just wanting to be holy for bragging rights. It's not a contest to see who can be the most pure in your family, so you can puff out your chest and feel better-than-thou. But instead we desire for the things that God desires. We long to put away the things in our lives that God cannot possibly smile upon.
Our body, if we are true Christians, is the temple of the Holy Spirit of GOD! (1Cor. 6:19-20) I want you to remember that when I put in a movie, there is nobody else in the whole world there to see what I watch. Nobody would ever know if I watched the vilest of filth ever recorded. And when I sit down with my cup of tea or my bowl of popcorn and my blanket, I'm not thinking about anything but a couple of hours of enjoyment and entertainment in the form of a movie. It's the chance to just zone out from the struggles of life. And then comes a part in the movie where the person takes the Lord's name in vain. Whether they are happy, sad, furious, scared, no matter what their emotion, someone thought it would be a fitting place in that movie for God's holy name to be trampled upon. Instantly, and I do mean instantly, my heart just sinks! It is an instant reaction, not even anticipated by me. GRIEF! Pure grief for my precious Lord. How can I possibly enjoy something that hurts Him so bad? How?? He loves me so much! He is so very good to me! He DIED for me!! How could I hurt Him by enjoying anything in this life that tramples His very name?
You say that a movie is just innocent fun? The actor of that movie sinned against a holy God by using that word. The person who wrote the script sinned. The producer and director...on and on. Jesus had to pay the price for that sin by being tortured and killed on the cross! And now, how do you think Jesus would feel about me taking that lightly? How would He feel about me getting pleasure in hearing His name misused like that? Would I want my heart to be so calloused that I COULD watch a movie where God's name is taken in vain and it not grieve me? Never! If my heart is tender towards His honor and glory, it is only because Jesus Himself has touched me there. Do I want to make hard where the Lord of Glory has softened? Never! If the Holy Spirit of God is instantly grieved in my spirit when such language is used, would I want to tune it out, turn a deaf ear to Jehovah God? No way! Beloved, it's not me who has any self holiness. It is the holiness of God inside me that is grieved at what I allow to enter my ears, eyes, heart and mind.
Next time you put in a movie, think of Jesus sitting on the couch with you. Just you and the Lord, spending time together watching a movie. When that word is used, how do you think your Savior would react? Would He turn to you and wink, pat you on the shoulder and say, "No worries, no big deal."? No, He would be hurt. How would you feel inside to see the grief in His eyes when you can enjoy the movie and be apathetic to His heartache? Even that cost Him so much! Think about it. Remember what it cost Jesus. Is that movie really worth it? Don't you know that every single time you shrug your shoulders and continue to watch something where the Lord's name is taken in vain, you risk the day coming when you loose your ability all-together to care about keeping your body a pure temple for the Holy Spirit? You don't grow softer by shrugging your shoulders, you grow harder. You can't continue to time and time again tune out the Holy Spirit inside you, and grow in the Lord. It is in obeying the Spirit that we DO grow in the Lord, and grow more like Him. What movie, what two hours of enjoyment is worth grieving the King of kings and Lord of lords? Is it really legalism to keep your heart pure for your heavenly Husband? Is it legalism to love the Lord Jesus so much that you would be willing to forgo ever seeing a movie again that's above a PG rating, if watching R means that you will probably hear His name taken in vain? Wow, that's quite a sacrifice in life, huh? How could any God who claimed to love you want you to go without R rated movies? How could life be fulfilling without the entertainment of Hollywood?
Don't believe the lie that God's dealings with you on holiness is all about legalism. You will be listening to Satan for the rest of your life if you don't ever believe that God wants to make you and keep you pure for your Husband. God wants to soften your heart, make you ever tender for your Master and King. He wants you to be so very in love with Jesus. He wants your desire to be for nothing but what He desires for you. He wants your heart to be tender, whether you are a woman or a rough and tough manly man, he wants you tender on the inside. He wants you to love Jesus so very much that it tears you up inside to have to hear His name taken in vain. What would that cost you? Not watching those movies? So what? Look at what all those sins cost our precious Savior! Holiness unto the Lord. You, a pure, spotless bride. You don't have to wait until you are in heaven to seek to be pure for Jesus! Take a stand in your household. Determine to remain pure for your King. See if God doesn't honor and bless that vow to keep His dishonor from entering through your doors. See if He doesn't fill that space of movie time with more joy than you could ever imagine. You won't be missing a thing! You will gain peace and joy unspeakable. You will bless the heart of Jehovah God. What could be better than that?
On Golden Pond wasn't the only movie of mine that has gone in the garbage. It also happened to Rambo, Ghost, The Break Up, and several more. Many more, actually. And some of them were movies that I really enjoyed at one time. Some, like The Break Up, were movies that I had never seen and didn't even finish watching. But many were my old video tape movies that I used to catch on sale when Joshua was growing up. He and I used to love sitting on the couch and just watching movies. So I have, or HAD, a large collection. But now when I pull out a movie that I haven't seen in a long time, I just can't enjoy it like I used to. What's the difference? And could that difference be qualified as legalism?
I'll tell you what my personal opinion is. I think we use the excuse of legalism to justify our lack of holiness unto the Lord! Period! Is there such a thing as legalism? YES! I have been guilty of it, especially when I was a babe in Christ and learning the word of God. I would see how far short we fall in living God's word here in America. I have those in my life who struggle with legalism, and I pray for God's grace to break through. But God has grown me in understanding that it's not about a bunch of do and don'ts, it's about living my life abandoned to His will and His desire for making me more and more like my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. If you're a child of God, isn't that your greatest desire, to be more like Jesus? Yes. And don't you long for your life to glorify Jehovah God? Yes. Doesn't it just break your heart when you know you are grieving the Holy Spirit inside you? Yes. Our ultimate goal in life is not just wanting to be holy for bragging rights. It's not a contest to see who can be the most pure in your family, so you can puff out your chest and feel better-than-thou. But instead we desire for the things that God desires. We long to put away the things in our lives that God cannot possibly smile upon.
Our body, if we are true Christians, is the temple of the Holy Spirit of GOD! (1Cor. 6:19-20) I want you to remember that when I put in a movie, there is nobody else in the whole world there to see what I watch. Nobody would ever know if I watched the vilest of filth ever recorded. And when I sit down with my cup of tea or my bowl of popcorn and my blanket, I'm not thinking about anything but a couple of hours of enjoyment and entertainment in the form of a movie. It's the chance to just zone out from the struggles of life. And then comes a part in the movie where the person takes the Lord's name in vain. Whether they are happy, sad, furious, scared, no matter what their emotion, someone thought it would be a fitting place in that movie for God's holy name to be trampled upon. Instantly, and I do mean instantly, my heart just sinks! It is an instant reaction, not even anticipated by me. GRIEF! Pure grief for my precious Lord. How can I possibly enjoy something that hurts Him so bad? How?? He loves me so much! He is so very good to me! He DIED for me!! How could I hurt Him by enjoying anything in this life that tramples His very name?
You say that a movie is just innocent fun? The actor of that movie sinned against a holy God by using that word. The person who wrote the script sinned. The producer and director...on and on. Jesus had to pay the price for that sin by being tortured and killed on the cross! And now, how do you think Jesus would feel about me taking that lightly? How would He feel about me getting pleasure in hearing His name misused like that? Would I want my heart to be so calloused that I COULD watch a movie where God's name is taken in vain and it not grieve me? Never! If my heart is tender towards His honor and glory, it is only because Jesus Himself has touched me there. Do I want to make hard where the Lord of Glory has softened? Never! If the Holy Spirit of God is instantly grieved in my spirit when such language is used, would I want to tune it out, turn a deaf ear to Jehovah God? No way! Beloved, it's not me who has any self holiness. It is the holiness of God inside me that is grieved at what I allow to enter my ears, eyes, heart and mind.
Next time you put in a movie, think of Jesus sitting on the couch with you. Just you and the Lord, spending time together watching a movie. When that word is used, how do you think your Savior would react? Would He turn to you and wink, pat you on the shoulder and say, "No worries, no big deal."? No, He would be hurt. How would you feel inside to see the grief in His eyes when you can enjoy the movie and be apathetic to His heartache? Even that cost Him so much! Think about it. Remember what it cost Jesus. Is that movie really worth it? Don't you know that every single time you shrug your shoulders and continue to watch something where the Lord's name is taken in vain, you risk the day coming when you loose your ability all-together to care about keeping your body a pure temple for the Holy Spirit? You don't grow softer by shrugging your shoulders, you grow harder. You can't continue to time and time again tune out the Holy Spirit inside you, and grow in the Lord. It is in obeying the Spirit that we DO grow in the Lord, and grow more like Him. What movie, what two hours of enjoyment is worth grieving the King of kings and Lord of lords? Is it really legalism to keep your heart pure for your heavenly Husband? Is it legalism to love the Lord Jesus so much that you would be willing to forgo ever seeing a movie again that's above a PG rating, if watching R means that you will probably hear His name taken in vain? Wow, that's quite a sacrifice in life, huh? How could any God who claimed to love you want you to go without R rated movies? How could life be fulfilling without the entertainment of Hollywood?
Don't believe the lie that God's dealings with you on holiness is all about legalism. You will be listening to Satan for the rest of your life if you don't ever believe that God wants to make you and keep you pure for your Husband. God wants to soften your heart, make you ever tender for your Master and King. He wants you to be so very in love with Jesus. He wants your desire to be for nothing but what He desires for you. He wants your heart to be tender, whether you are a woman or a rough and tough manly man, he wants you tender on the inside. He wants you to love Jesus so very much that it tears you up inside to have to hear His name taken in vain. What would that cost you? Not watching those movies? So what? Look at what all those sins cost our precious Savior! Holiness unto the Lord. You, a pure, spotless bride. You don't have to wait until you are in heaven to seek to be pure for Jesus! Take a stand in your household. Determine to remain pure for your King. See if God doesn't honor and bless that vow to keep His dishonor from entering through your doors. See if He doesn't fill that space of movie time with more joy than you could ever imagine. You won't be missing a thing! You will gain peace and joy unspeakable. You will bless the heart of Jehovah God. What could be better than that?
Monday, February 1, 2010
Worship Through Music
A few years ago, when I was just a babe in Christ, I attended an R.C. Sproul conference in Florida. John MacArthur was one of the guest speakers. I had just started listening to him and getting to know his preaching. They had a question and answer session one evening. Someone asked about Christian music. I don't remember what everyone said but I do remember what John said. The reason I remember it so well is because his response tore my heart out.
I am very grateful for John MacArthur's ministry. I think he is one of the true voices of God for our generation. I grow more in my knowledge of God through his teachings than almost anyone else that I listen to, and I listen to several. But that weekend I was very disappointed in his views of today's Christian music. He didn't really have anything nice to say about the songs of our day. He doesn't see much need or use for them. He likes the old hymns because they are more doctrinally correct. He called today's music 7/11, meaning the sames 7 words sung 11 times over, or something to that effect. And yes, he is correct to some extent. There are some songs like that. There are even some songs played on Christian radio that aren't very correct when it comes to the Scripture, but I would not assume to lump them all together the way John does.
When I first got saved, there were so many songs on KLove, having just discovered that station, which filled my heart with joy unspeakable to sing to my Lord. I can't even imagine the times my heart would have done without the praise, put to words, had it not been for those songs. Even now when I hear the songs I first heard years ago, my heart tenderly melts in memory of singing praise and adoration to my new-found King! And since then there have been literally hundreds of times when I am alone in my apartment, listening to Christian music, and a song comes on that draws me to my knees, and I lift my hands in the air and worship my Lord with singing. I can't imagine life without those songs!
But there came a time, probably between two and three years ago, that I started becoming critical in my spirit to some of the songs I was hearing on Christian radio. I thought they were so silly, stupid actually, if I'm being totally honest. I would think, "What's that got to do with the bible?" Or, "How can that honor Jesus?" I would hear, "Hands up, holler back here, let's get the party in gear. We brought the welcome mat, wherever we go, that's where the party's at!" I would get so nauseated when those fluffy songs came on that had nothing to do with God's glory, or so I thought. I wondered about my mother, when she was battling cancer, if she happened to turn on the station needing to hear something about Jesus, how she would have felt about the "Cartoon Song" and people saying, "Scooby-Dooby-Do-Ya." I truly went through a period of starting to loath some of the Christian music of today.
Then I remember hearing "Big House" by Audio Adrenaline. I couldn't stand that song! I thought it was one of the dumbest, most unimportant songs that had ever been played on Christian radio. What was the point? Where's the "Jesus died on the cross to save sinners from their sins! Praise God" kind of songs? And then I heard a story on KLove about how that song was used mightily in a little girl's life. That little girl was Maria Sue Chapman, Stephen Curtis Chapman's daughter, who was killed when she was hit by a car. I only heard the story once and don't know if I have all the details right but God made sure I got the point!! She was listening to that song one day and came into the kitchen to ask her mommy about it. She wanted to know if that song was something true about heaven. If so, she wanted to go to heaven. So Mary Beth, Stephen's wife, called Stephen into the kitchen to talk to Maria about how she could go to heaven. That was just a short time before her death. I heard that story as I was pulling into the church parking lot on a Sunday morning. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to repent of my sin of such a hard, heartless heart. Who am I to say what God can use to draw people to himself?!!
As God would have it, because He is just that awesome, He lead me to teach kindergarten Sunday school. And guess what song those children LOVED to sing. Yes, Big House! It wasn't too long before my son and I were teaching a kindergarten class and had to select the music for worship time. And of course, Big House was at the top of the list. We would play this little game with the kids where they got to dance around during the verses and then we would stop the music right before it got to the chorus. When the music stopped, the kids had to get in a funny pose. Then, when the music started back up, they would do the hand motions to the chorus. They had so much fun! And guess what happened to my little bitty heart? It grew TEN sizes in the Lord!! The pure joy of watching those precious babies sing about God, even if it was about football in heaven, was marvelous! I think I got more joy out of it than they did, and I know my heart was praising my King every time we sang it.
Here's my point, not every song has to be a spiritual giant to win souls to Christ. Not every song has to be a tear-jerker to give you a spirit of praise for Jehovah God, no matter what age you are. There are some people, when going through the hard trials of life, who need those light-hearted songs more than they need the ones that bring them to their knees in adoration and awe! Who knows what and when and where and how and why, about Christian songs??? GOD KNOWS!
So, as much as I praise the Lord for John MacArthur, I think he is missing out on a huge part of what God is doing though song. Do you find yourself not worshipping the King like you should on Sunday morning because you're not happy with the style of music? STOP! God is not pleased when we refuse to praise Him just because we can't have things our way. How do you think it makes your Savior feel when you harden your heart and refuse to give Him the worship He is due just because you prefer another style of music than that being played? Is your heart so hard and shriveled like mine was? Are you so stubborn that you won't offer your King your adoration because it happens to be traditional music when you prefer contemporary? You grieve Him when you have that prideful hardness in your heart. I know, I have been there. Even if I'm not familiar with a song, I see the words and know that they honor my King. So I sing them with all the love I have for the One who died for me. Can't you give Him that? Just ask God to do a work on your heart. And ask Him to bless someone else through that music being played. Then lift your heart and lift your voice to the One who is worthy of all praise!
I am very grateful for John MacArthur's ministry. I think he is one of the true voices of God for our generation. I grow more in my knowledge of God through his teachings than almost anyone else that I listen to, and I listen to several. But that weekend I was very disappointed in his views of today's Christian music. He didn't really have anything nice to say about the songs of our day. He doesn't see much need or use for them. He likes the old hymns because they are more doctrinally correct. He called today's music 7/11, meaning the sames 7 words sung 11 times over, or something to that effect. And yes, he is correct to some extent. There are some songs like that. There are even some songs played on Christian radio that aren't very correct when it comes to the Scripture, but I would not assume to lump them all together the way John does.
When I first got saved, there were so many songs on KLove, having just discovered that station, which filled my heart with joy unspeakable to sing to my Lord. I can't even imagine the times my heart would have done without the praise, put to words, had it not been for those songs. Even now when I hear the songs I first heard years ago, my heart tenderly melts in memory of singing praise and adoration to my new-found King! And since then there have been literally hundreds of times when I am alone in my apartment, listening to Christian music, and a song comes on that draws me to my knees, and I lift my hands in the air and worship my Lord with singing. I can't imagine life without those songs!
But there came a time, probably between two and three years ago, that I started becoming critical in my spirit to some of the songs I was hearing on Christian radio. I thought they were so silly, stupid actually, if I'm being totally honest. I would think, "What's that got to do with the bible?" Or, "How can that honor Jesus?" I would hear, "Hands up, holler back here, let's get the party in gear. We brought the welcome mat, wherever we go, that's where the party's at!" I would get so nauseated when those fluffy songs came on that had nothing to do with God's glory, or so I thought. I wondered about my mother, when she was battling cancer, if she happened to turn on the station needing to hear something about Jesus, how she would have felt about the "Cartoon Song" and people saying, "Scooby-Dooby-Do-Ya." I truly went through a period of starting to loath some of the Christian music of today.
Then I remember hearing "Big House" by Audio Adrenaline. I couldn't stand that song! I thought it was one of the dumbest, most unimportant songs that had ever been played on Christian radio. What was the point? Where's the "Jesus died on the cross to save sinners from their sins! Praise God" kind of songs? And then I heard a story on KLove about how that song was used mightily in a little girl's life. That little girl was Maria Sue Chapman, Stephen Curtis Chapman's daughter, who was killed when she was hit by a car. I only heard the story once and don't know if I have all the details right but God made sure I got the point!! She was listening to that song one day and came into the kitchen to ask her mommy about it. She wanted to know if that song was something true about heaven. If so, she wanted to go to heaven. So Mary Beth, Stephen's wife, called Stephen into the kitchen to talk to Maria about how she could go to heaven. That was just a short time before her death. I heard that story as I was pulling into the church parking lot on a Sunday morning. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to repent of my sin of such a hard, heartless heart. Who am I to say what God can use to draw people to himself?!!
As God would have it, because He is just that awesome, He lead me to teach kindergarten Sunday school. And guess what song those children LOVED to sing. Yes, Big House! It wasn't too long before my son and I were teaching a kindergarten class and had to select the music for worship time. And of course, Big House was at the top of the list. We would play this little game with the kids where they got to dance around during the verses and then we would stop the music right before it got to the chorus. When the music stopped, the kids had to get in a funny pose. Then, when the music started back up, they would do the hand motions to the chorus. They had so much fun! And guess what happened to my little bitty heart? It grew TEN sizes in the Lord!! The pure joy of watching those precious babies sing about God, even if it was about football in heaven, was marvelous! I think I got more joy out of it than they did, and I know my heart was praising my King every time we sang it.
Here's my point, not every song has to be a spiritual giant to win souls to Christ. Not every song has to be a tear-jerker to give you a spirit of praise for Jehovah God, no matter what age you are. There are some people, when going through the hard trials of life, who need those light-hearted songs more than they need the ones that bring them to their knees in adoration and awe! Who knows what and when and where and how and why, about Christian songs??? GOD KNOWS!
So, as much as I praise the Lord for John MacArthur, I think he is missing out on a huge part of what God is doing though song. Do you find yourself not worshipping the King like you should on Sunday morning because you're not happy with the style of music? STOP! God is not pleased when we refuse to praise Him just because we can't have things our way. How do you think it makes your Savior feel when you harden your heart and refuse to give Him the worship He is due just because you prefer another style of music than that being played? Is your heart so hard and shriveled like mine was? Are you so stubborn that you won't offer your King your adoration because it happens to be traditional music when you prefer contemporary? You grieve Him when you have that prideful hardness in your heart. I know, I have been there. Even if I'm not familiar with a song, I see the words and know that they honor my King. So I sing them with all the love I have for the One who died for me. Can't you give Him that? Just ask God to do a work on your heart. And ask Him to bless someone else through that music being played. Then lift your heart and lift your voice to the One who is worthy of all praise!
Friday, January 29, 2010
Haiti: Response to Blog Comment
Some of you may have read my blog on Haiti. I received a comment on my blog page from someone I don't know by the name of Rick. He doesn't believe in hell, and laid out a little of his reasoning. I wrote a response to his comments. When I hit the "post comment" button, it told me that I had too many characters, so that meant I would have had to shorten it, which was unthinkable. I didn't know there was a limit to the amount I could write on my own blog, even just my comment space, but I learned something new. And if you follow my blog, you know that I tend to write long posts. Yeah I know, that's the understatement of the year! Anyway, I thought it was important enough to just copy and paste in a new blog.
I have a request to make to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ:
Please join me in praying for this man named Rick. Please. Pray for God to save him. Pray for God to be magnified and glorified through these events. Pray for God's will to be done, and that His word not return to Him void. Please pray Isaiah 55:11 back to our great Jehovah God. God WILL be glorified! Pray that His glory will be mightily on display!
Here is my response to Rick's comment:
Rick, thank you for the contact and opportunity to address your views.
So in other words, the parts of Scripture that support a Christian's view on hell are recopying mistakes made through the ages, but the texts that support the non Christian's view aren't? That's pretty far reaching but I'm not ashamed to tell you that I don't have the ability to argue all the solid evidence that the bible is the inerrant word of God. I'm not very intelligent. But it's the Holy Spirit inside me that speaks Truth to me in knowing that all of God's word is right, righteous and just. The problem is how you interpret it. There is only one true interpretation, God's. Satan's is a lie. But there is hope for that too. God can and will give you the wisdom to know His Truth, if you will turn to Him, repent of your sins, and ask Jesus to save you. Otherwise, it will remain foolishness to you...the bible guarantees it!
You use Luke 9:51-56 to support your view that there is no hell. The disciples were very familiar with Elijah when he called fire down from heaven. But the reason it was done then was because the question of who was sovereign in Israel was at stake. When Jesus rebuked the disciples for wanting to call down fire from heaven to destroy the Samaritans, it was not His disapproval of Elijah, or because there is no eternal punishment in hell. It was because the disciples failed to discern the difference between the issue in Elijah's day and the unbelief of the Samaritans in Jesus' day. Jesus didn't come the first time to judge and destroy (which He will certainly do at His second coming). But He came the first time to save; not for destruction. The disciples should have had a spirit of GRACE, not a spirit of vindictiveness. That is what Jesus was trying to teach them. He was in no way saying that there was not going to be a time and place for judgement, or that there wasn't a hell. There are tons of scripture to support the fact that Jesus will one Day return to righteously judge and send the unsaved to eternal torment.
God does sometimes hurt. The entire Old Testament is full of God's anger towards the wicked, and examples of how He deals with it. Old and New Testament alike have several examples of what He does, in His perfect sovereign will, even to His children, for His glory and their own good. Read Act 5:1-11 where God caused Ananias and his wife Sapphira to drop dead on the spot for lying to the Holy Spirit. Read 1 Cor 11:27-34. Even some Christians were judged with death because of their sin and the fact that they wouldn't judge themselves. God called them home, and then they had no more opportunity to do damage to the other Christians around them. They couldn't do any more harm to the body of believers. But the judgement part of that is the fact that they lost their opportunity to be slaves of Jesus Christ here on this earth, the joy of spreading the gospel and in making a difference for all time and eternity in the lives of the unsaved. It was gone forever. Whatever rewards they would have received in heaven for a long life of service to their Lord was lost, with no further opportunities. But they did go to heaven because they belonged to the Lord. God doesn't change, so we know that the same thing happens even today, and God is righteous in His judgements, Rick.
The point is that we cannot usurp His authority to say who, what, when, where, how, and why He judges, and the effects of that. We don't know; He alone knows. And who would want to know why the exact people in Haiti who died, died that day and didn't survive? It's not our place to know why some escaped with not even a scratch and others had to have limbs amputated. God is the only One who has the right to decide whom He will have mercy on. And who knows, but for some of those who died, God knew that their death WAS merciful, for any number of reasons! And for those survivors....who knows what wonderful things God will do from a life that was radically changed forever, even though they lost their legs, or lost their home, or lost family members. Beauty for ashes, Rick. (Isaiah 61:3) There are some things God causes, and some things God allows, but He is the Sovereign of this universe which He created.
The thing for Christians to be concerned about is spreading the gospel of Christ so that when death DOES come to someone else, that person who just died will be on their way to heaven instead of hell. It's the Christian's responsibility to proclaim the truths of the Word of God, and warn of the coming Judgement. God pleads through us and through His Word for people to repent. And we plead even for you and those who believe as you do, Rick, for our gracious God to reveal Himself to you. We plead for the Holy Spirit to plant and water seeds of salvation to the lost of this world.
Just because you don't believe in hell makes it no less true. But unless the blinders are removed from your eyes, you won't know the Truth until you are face to face with the King of kings and Lord of lords. If you don't repent, it won't come until you are on your knees proclaiming Him to be God of Very God, righteous Judge, all to the glory of God the Father, right before you are sentenced to hell for all time and eternity for your unbelief; for all your sins against a holy God.
It's hard for me to tell you this, but I must. Your punishment in hell, if you don't turn to Jesus and ask Him to save you, will be even greater than that of the average pagan. And the reason for that will be the fact that you are actively leading people away from Christ. You will have the blood of those souls on your hands, and the Judge will hold you responsible. You are obviously proud of your book that helps people move closer to Satan, but I tell you the truth, if you don't repent and be saved, you will weep and gnash your teeth in torment for all eternity, and that "stupid book", as you will call it, will be ever present in your mind as you have billions and billions upon billions, never-ending years, to contemplate your prideful, wicked hardened heart in not believing. And part of your torment will be that you had every opportunity to turn away from your sin. God is so gracious and patient, and He is giving you time to repent, Rick. And don't think that it won't be put on your account that you even knew the bible well. It's not as if you are ignorant of what the Word of God says, no, you know His word well. This will be used against you as you kneel before the Lord of Glory, at the Great White Throne Judgement. So Rick, I beg you to seek God. Just ask Him to show you, to reveal Himself to you. Repent before it's too late! May God have mercy on your soul. Please, before it's too late, seek Him. Know that I am praying, and will continue to pray for you. It will be my hope in the Lord that if we meet, it will be as brother and sister in Christ, in heaven for all eternity!
I will pray for and welcome further communication with you. God was so gracious and merciful to save me, and I pray for that same grace and mercy of His to save you too.
I have a request to make to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ:
Please join me in praying for this man named Rick. Please. Pray for God to save him. Pray for God to be magnified and glorified through these events. Pray for God's will to be done, and that His word not return to Him void. Please pray Isaiah 55:11 back to our great Jehovah God. God WILL be glorified! Pray that His glory will be mightily on display!
Here is my response to Rick's comment:
Rick, thank you for the contact and opportunity to address your views.
So in other words, the parts of Scripture that support a Christian's view on hell are recopying mistakes made through the ages, but the texts that support the non Christian's view aren't? That's pretty far reaching but I'm not ashamed to tell you that I don't have the ability to argue all the solid evidence that the bible is the inerrant word of God. I'm not very intelligent. But it's the Holy Spirit inside me that speaks Truth to me in knowing that all of God's word is right, righteous and just. The problem is how you interpret it. There is only one true interpretation, God's. Satan's is a lie. But there is hope for that too. God can and will give you the wisdom to know His Truth, if you will turn to Him, repent of your sins, and ask Jesus to save you. Otherwise, it will remain foolishness to you...the bible guarantees it!
You use Luke 9:51-56 to support your view that there is no hell. The disciples were very familiar with Elijah when he called fire down from heaven. But the reason it was done then was because the question of who was sovereign in Israel was at stake. When Jesus rebuked the disciples for wanting to call down fire from heaven to destroy the Samaritans, it was not His disapproval of Elijah, or because there is no eternal punishment in hell. It was because the disciples failed to discern the difference between the issue in Elijah's day and the unbelief of the Samaritans in Jesus' day. Jesus didn't come the first time to judge and destroy (which He will certainly do at His second coming). But He came the first time to save; not for destruction. The disciples should have had a spirit of GRACE, not a spirit of vindictiveness. That is what Jesus was trying to teach them. He was in no way saying that there was not going to be a time and place for judgement, or that there wasn't a hell. There are tons of scripture to support the fact that Jesus will one Day return to righteously judge and send the unsaved to eternal torment.
God does sometimes hurt. The entire Old Testament is full of God's anger towards the wicked, and examples of how He deals with it. Old and New Testament alike have several examples of what He does, in His perfect sovereign will, even to His children, for His glory and their own good. Read Act 5:1-11 where God caused Ananias and his wife Sapphira to drop dead on the spot for lying to the Holy Spirit. Read 1 Cor 11:27-34. Even some Christians were judged with death because of their sin and the fact that they wouldn't judge themselves. God called them home, and then they had no more opportunity to do damage to the other Christians around them. They couldn't do any more harm to the body of believers. But the judgement part of that is the fact that they lost their opportunity to be slaves of Jesus Christ here on this earth, the joy of spreading the gospel and in making a difference for all time and eternity in the lives of the unsaved. It was gone forever. Whatever rewards they would have received in heaven for a long life of service to their Lord was lost, with no further opportunities. But they did go to heaven because they belonged to the Lord. God doesn't change, so we know that the same thing happens even today, and God is righteous in His judgements, Rick.
The point is that we cannot usurp His authority to say who, what, when, where, how, and why He judges, and the effects of that. We don't know; He alone knows. And who would want to know why the exact people in Haiti who died, died that day and didn't survive? It's not our place to know why some escaped with not even a scratch and others had to have limbs amputated. God is the only One who has the right to decide whom He will have mercy on. And who knows, but for some of those who died, God knew that their death WAS merciful, for any number of reasons! And for those survivors....who knows what wonderful things God will do from a life that was radically changed forever, even though they lost their legs, or lost their home, or lost family members. Beauty for ashes, Rick. (Isaiah 61:3) There are some things God causes, and some things God allows, but He is the Sovereign of this universe which He created.
The thing for Christians to be concerned about is spreading the gospel of Christ so that when death DOES come to someone else, that person who just died will be on their way to heaven instead of hell. It's the Christian's responsibility to proclaim the truths of the Word of God, and warn of the coming Judgement. God pleads through us and through His Word for people to repent. And we plead even for you and those who believe as you do, Rick, for our gracious God to reveal Himself to you. We plead for the Holy Spirit to plant and water seeds of salvation to the lost of this world.
Just because you don't believe in hell makes it no less true. But unless the blinders are removed from your eyes, you won't know the Truth until you are face to face with the King of kings and Lord of lords. If you don't repent, it won't come until you are on your knees proclaiming Him to be God of Very God, righteous Judge, all to the glory of God the Father, right before you are sentenced to hell for all time and eternity for your unbelief; for all your sins against a holy God.
It's hard for me to tell you this, but I must. Your punishment in hell, if you don't turn to Jesus and ask Him to save you, will be even greater than that of the average pagan. And the reason for that will be the fact that you are actively leading people away from Christ. You will have the blood of those souls on your hands, and the Judge will hold you responsible. You are obviously proud of your book that helps people move closer to Satan, but I tell you the truth, if you don't repent and be saved, you will weep and gnash your teeth in torment for all eternity, and that "stupid book", as you will call it, will be ever present in your mind as you have billions and billions upon billions, never-ending years, to contemplate your prideful, wicked hardened heart in not believing. And part of your torment will be that you had every opportunity to turn away from your sin. God is so gracious and patient, and He is giving you time to repent, Rick. And don't think that it won't be put on your account that you even knew the bible well. It's not as if you are ignorant of what the Word of God says, no, you know His word well. This will be used against you as you kneel before the Lord of Glory, at the Great White Throne Judgement. So Rick, I beg you to seek God. Just ask Him to show you, to reveal Himself to you. Repent before it's too late! May God have mercy on your soul. Please, before it's too late, seek Him. Know that I am praying, and will continue to pray for you. It will be my hope in the Lord that if we meet, it will be as brother and sister in Christ, in heaven for all eternity!
I will pray for and welcome further communication with you. God was so gracious and merciful to save me, and I pray for that same grace and mercy of His to save you too.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Racial Reconciliation Part 3
Please make sure you have read my two previous post on racial reconciliation before reading this one.
I've talked on how my sin against God and the African American race grew, even after my salvation, and grew totally different than it was before Jesus saved me. My prejudice started developing even further, and at a rapid rate, once I got a glimpse into the "name it and claim it" heresy. That is what the black people at my job held to. It was, and still is, so prevalent there. It's the only religion that I noticed coming from my African American coworkers, and it made me sick. Now mind you, as I stated before, this false doctrine knows no racial or socioeconomic boundaries. But it was, at the time I was becoming aware of it, only blacks whom I witnessed holding to these false teachings. Their whole lives, everything that they called "Christian" revolved around the "name it and claim it" prosperity gospel. My bitterness and prejudice grew so fast for my coworkers who held to and lived by this lie. It made me sick to even hear them say the name of Jesus. And in my little world, I hadn't yet heard any white person claim this heresy. Now, I get just as sick to my stomach, grieved and angered whether the person is black or white, when the "name it and claim it" starts. And while I was watching and listening to my coworkers talk in that all-to-familiar heretical language, my hostility towards the African American race grew. This was sin! It isn't sin to stand up for the truth of the gospel. It is sin to have hatred and judgement in my heart for an entire race! And let me just go ahead and lay it all on the table...I was prejudice anyway. My heart was and still is so very dark. I was going to be prejudice against this race of people, made in God's image, no matter what it was. I have had to come to grips with that fact. God would have it no other way because God is all Truth. There is heresy in every shape and form here in America, and I don't have those same negative feelings against any other race or nationality. I lived in Dallas for almost two years. There, both blacks and whites are prejudice against the Mexican people. I never understood that. And yet, my heart is so prone to a depravity that has left me dripping with bitterness and prejudice against African Americans. SIN!! Wickedness! There is nothing in the world that lends to credible excuse for my feelings against this people, no matter what they do. Period!
It is true that the prosperity gospel is killing us here in America. Let me quote my pastor, Bryan Loritts, in a sermon that was preached to Baptist ministers entitled "Preach the Word". Bryan said, " The prosperity gospel is killing the church of Jesus Christ. It makes you wonder what bible are they reading. These prosperity heretics must literally cut out the whole book of Job. They must literally cut out the teachings of Jesus....cut out the teachings of Paul. I say to the 'name-it-and-claim-it' prosperity teachers what Paul says to the Judaizers in Galatians chapter 1, 'Let him who preaches another gospel be (anathema) eternally condemned.'"
But I don't want to come across as making excuses for my wicked sin. It's not the fact that I hated the prosperity gospel, it was the fact that I hated the people themselves, the people that I saw as nothing else but color. It was about race and prejudice, not about standing up for the Truth, in the love of Christ. It was wickedness. It was sin. It IS sin. I can't put it in the past tense yet; I still struggle with it every single day. I have to ask God to forgive me several times at work each and every day. I have to plead forgiveness so much, just living and interacting with the African American community here in Memphis. But are we whites even a tiny speck better? No, no, a thousand times NO! Sin isn't bias, it wants everyone. And sin has a strong hold on black and white alike in our beloved city. So why do I struggle more with the wicked black than I do with wicked white? I hate and grieve over what my sin cost Jesus Christ. I hate and grieve over what the sin of those who follow the prosperity gospel cost Him also. But am I not to have God's heart for all the lost, regardless of color?. Yes! But I still have a prideful heart. For it is only wicked pride that makes me think better of myself than any other person on earth, including this race of people!
So then comes another part of my prejudice heart towards the people of this race; the music I hear them play at work. They would have Hallelujah FM blaring throughout the warehouse, and I just became so hardened to the whole thing, hearing wonderful praise and worship music, when all I could think of is "Who ya praisin?, not the God of the bible." I became hardened to a whole RACE of people made in the image of God!! I wanted nothing to do with their "religion", but also, I wanted nothing to do with THEM. In my heart, it became all about prejudice against this entire race of people.
I know this is hard to read. Believe me when I tell you that it is hard to say. I have to face the fact that all of this vile, wicked sin is coming straight from the heart of none other than ME, Dana Greenslade. I am so ashamed. I am so grieved. I am so sick of myself and my self-righteous pride! I don't want to reveal this, but my Lord wants me to. And He will be glorified! So let's press on...
In March of last year, Central Church (my church at the time) sponsored a huge event for women called Redemption 2009. Our director of women's ministries, Ellen Olford, and Priscilla Shirer teamed up to put this event together. It was to bring about racial reconciliation in the Christian community. It was talked about a lot in the weeks prior. A tremendous amount of people in my church were so very excited. I wasn't. I was struggling. There was a war being raged in my heart. And I have to say, I don't believe that I wanted Jesus to win that battle in my life at that time. I don't think I wanted to have my sin removed. I was standing quite firm on my self-righteous platform. My heart was so hard, and I wanted to fight against the Holy Spirit, working through His holy conviction. I wasn't ready to repent. Why would I want to go hold hands all weekend, and sing praises together to MY Lord with a bunch of heretics? Why would I want to join together with them and pretend that we were all worshipping the same God? But you know what...if you are a child of God, every single week in church you are worshipping alongside believers and non-believers alike. God knows who belongs to Him. The wheat and the tares grow together. (Matthew 13:29,30) We weren't being asked to agree with every single woman in the place with where she stands on the true gospel of the bible. We were asked to come together to start a healing process, a racial reconciliation process among the body of Christ, and even beyond. It was to reach across the pew, to whomever you might be sitting next to, and love that person where they were. It was to be hand clasping hand, black and white mingled together. If they were your sister, greet them as such. If you didn't know, tell them how glad you are to meet them and open a door. Be the salt and light of Christ!! Come and plead for God to MOVE among all the women there! It won't be until we get to heaven that every single person around us, while worshipping the Lord, will be only the redeemed! That doesn't stop me from joyously going to church every single week, lifting my hands to the heavens and praising the King of kings and Lords of lords. So why did I let something stop me from wanting to go that weekend? SIN!
I had to work that Friday night, so I didn't even have to wrestle with going. I live right down the street from the meeting place. Saturday morning rolled around. I got off work and wrestled within myself about walking down there. I decided to go. People were just starting to show up in pretty good numbers, a few hundred. The day hadn't officially start yet, but there was already a choir singing on stage. The song was great, one that I liked. My heart was rebelling with every ounce of wicked energy Satan and I could muster, but because the song was good, I tried to listen to it instead of the sin in my heart. I did fine for a few minutes until the choir started singing a song that I thought I remembered hearing at work, from Hallelujah FM. The hatred and bitterness started bubbling even harder and faster in my heart and in my spirit. "Here we go", I thought. My sin was so tremendous, so grievous. I allowed that sin to dominate my entire being that morning. My heart was stone-cold. I HATED those people. I imagined every single African American woman in that building thinking all the "name-it-and-claim-it thoughts while she was singing that song, with hands lifted high. I had to get out of there fast. I made a beeline for the exit and got home as fast as I could. I wanted to be alone in my horrible, prideful, selfish sin. Yet while I was walking, the Holy Spirit was convicting me. I argued, OUT LOUD, with Him all the way home, which, fortunately for me was only a few short minutes. The tears that I couldn't stop from flowing were coming from emotions that ran the gamut. I didn't WANT to let go of my sin, my bitterness and prejudice! I WANTED to hate. And I wanted to hate for the sake of God, but there was no way He was going to be untrue to His nature just to appease me. Amen for that!! God was NOT going to pat me on the back and tell me that it was ok, that He understood and I didn't have to worry about it. NO, God laid me so low; He laid me flat! He gave me a spiritual body slam, which I needed. If left to my own, I would have justified my heart and my actions over and over again to myself for the rest of my life. BUT GOD!! Don't you just love those two words,"But God"?
That was the day that God started really dealing with me hard, straight to the point on my sin of prejudice. It has to go if I am to lead a Spirit-filled life. It has to go if I am going to live in close communion with my Father and with my Savior and Lord! And as you can tell from my previous posts on this subject, I still have a long way to go. But God has not forsaken me, even in my most shameful sins! I praise Him for that. It is an every single day, pleading with the Lord of glory, Very God of Very God, to deal with me however He decides best, in ridding me of this sin of prejudice. And He has been working in my life so much in this area. It amazes me, His mercy and grace, to someone as vile as I. So undeserving of anything but everlasting punishment in hell.
And so, after everything I have revealed in these three posts, I want to bring you up-to-the-minute details of where I am, and what God is so lovingly doing to me and for me, all for His glory and my good. Sunday, I went to hear pastor Bryan preach and incredible sermon. I worshipped the Lord of life and glory, with hands lifted high, among my white AND black brothers and sisters in Christ. And God blessed me in this worship with more joy and peace than I have ever known in my LIFE! My son was there of course. He brought a friend of his for the second week in a row. She is the sweetest woman! She is raising four children by herself, working, and doing it all with cancer, and while undergoing treatment. And she is doing it all with a smile in her heart! She is precious! And along with my son, his friend and her four children, my niece Casey, the darling girl of my heart, came too. Her husband and children couldn't come, so she road with Joshua and Melody. It was wonderful. And then, Sunday evening I went down the street to Downtown Presbyterian to worship with black and while alike, from all different backgrounds. And I was fed by God through the preaching of Richard Reives. And can you guess what a good portion of his sermon dealt with? He preached from Galatians. He preached from a heart filled with the Holy Spirit for the body of Christ to stop dividing! He spoke to so many things that God is working on in my life, dealing with my wicked, prideful sin of prejudice. WOW!! Awesome...God is so awesome. I was truly in awe of my Lord the entire sermon. I had to go talk to Richard afterwards. I had to tell him how deeply grateful to God I was in the fact that He wanted to grow me even more, that very moment while listening to the sermon. I spoke to him from my heart of how gracious and merciful God is when He is bringing about the holiness of Jesus Christ in the heart and lives of His children. Think about it...my sin has been going on for so very long. And I nourished it and protected it, and even loved it, wanted it and didn't want to let it go. God could have struck me dead! He could have struck me leprous. He could have opened up the ground to swallow me whole, then closed the ground back over me. No matter what He decided to do about my continual sin, He would have been righteous and just! But He has been so loving and gracious, even when He chose to spiritually gut kick and body slam me. Think of how we react when someone has sinned so terribly against US!! Or maybe against someone who is precious to us. If we don't take it immediately to the cross, we could end up wanting BLOOD! Can you think back to the last time that you wronged someone that didn't want to be nice about your offense? It is possible that they wouldn't want anything to do with you until you came to them and gave them an entire confession...outlined with power points of how you messed up, how you realize all the ways you messed up, and what you plan to do over the next hundred years making it up to them. Or how about the way I tend to be as a woman. When someone I care about really wrongs me, yet I am too stubborn and prideful to go to them and tell them how what they did made me feel. I just sit back and wait for them to figure it out, and then come up with a plan, all by themselves, on how they will get back in my good graces. Hopefully now, as a child of God, this would no longer be an example of how I would react, but hey, ya never know with this sinner!
My point to Richard was this: When God convicts His child of a sin, He doesn't then tell us to run along and figure it out all by ourselves, and don't come back to Him until we do. He doesn't convict of sin and then turn His back on us until we have made everything right and worked it all out. He doesn't break us over our sins and then not give us any understanding or any help. No, He loves His children so much, He shows such grace and mercy, and He stays right there with us every step of the way in getting this sin out of our lives. He lights the way. He reveals His truth about the sin, and about His holy standard for our lives as we walk with Christ, ever becoming more like Him. He is our Teacher and our Guide. And when He does have to crush us, wound us, and break us in order to bring us back into right relationship with Himself, He is right there to hold us and comfort us through those tears of brokenness, and we kiss the Hand that wounds us! We love and adore Him for His holy, righteous and just corrections. God could have been so mad at me that after He thoroughly revealed my sin, He left me to figure it out all by myself, and not return to Him until I did, and until I had put a solution into place, and had a proven working track record of improvement. But that would go against His very nature. "I will never leave you. I will never forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) I pointed out to Richard in a very brief summary how God has been the One who so graciously has been leading me to all the people and all the places where He wants me, in dealing with my sin of a prejudice heart. Look at all He has done and is doing for me! It's amazing, but it's just like our great Jehovah God, my Father, my Savior and Shepherd, my Teacher and Comforter. His patience, grace, mercy, and love abound to me, His child. I stay in awe of Him for what He is doing in my life to not only change me, but to bless me in the midst of those changes. The change is necessary as a child of the One True God. It is necessary for Him to deal with this besetting sin of mine in whatever way He deems appropriate, through His perfect wisdom and knowledge. But in His sovereign grace, mercy, and compassion, what amazes me is that He chooses to BLESS me in the midst of this necessary change! It could have been a long term punishment that I certainly deserved. No matter what He chooses, I praise His holy Name for whatever He decides.
God wanted this revealed. And He didn't want me to wait until I had time to ponder the fallout from revealing the vileness of my heart. Satan has had a FIELD DAY with me since my first post of racial reconciliation. Every fear he could think of, he has tried to wreak havoc in my heart and mind. He has tried to steal my peace and my resolve to obey my Master, no matter what the cost...no matter! All God calls me to do is obey Him, to serve Him faithfully, to follow my Shepherd wherever He leads. He wants me to obey with all joy, and leave the results in His sovereign, capable hands. He wants me to trust Him and praise Him, even if the world punishes me greatly for revealing this wicked sin in my life. Hey, even if it means that some in the church turn their backs on me. What is that to me? Has the Lord Omnipotent turned HIS back on me? No. Never. So why would I allow Satan to torture me with worry of what might come of this? Is it not all in the hands of Jehovah God? Yes. And even with the comfort that God is in control, my heart doesn't cease from breaking over all the African American people whom I have hurt from the prejudice daggers coming from my heart. I am exactly where God wants me in regards to putting to death this wicked sin and exactly where He wants me, from all the years of letting it run rampant..broken. And in my brokenness, God reaches a loving hand down to me, and strokes the face of His child, even me. Oh, how I will sing all the days of my life of His goodness! Won't you, black and while alike, my brothers and sisters in Christ, please take my hand and sing with me? The Lord God Omnipotent Reigneth!! Hallelujah, Amen!
I've talked on how my sin against God and the African American race grew, even after my salvation, and grew totally different than it was before Jesus saved me. My prejudice started developing even further, and at a rapid rate, once I got a glimpse into the "name it and claim it" heresy. That is what the black people at my job held to. It was, and still is, so prevalent there. It's the only religion that I noticed coming from my African American coworkers, and it made me sick. Now mind you, as I stated before, this false doctrine knows no racial or socioeconomic boundaries. But it was, at the time I was becoming aware of it, only blacks whom I witnessed holding to these false teachings. Their whole lives, everything that they called "Christian" revolved around the "name it and claim it" prosperity gospel. My bitterness and prejudice grew so fast for my coworkers who held to and lived by this lie. It made me sick to even hear them say the name of Jesus. And in my little world, I hadn't yet heard any white person claim this heresy. Now, I get just as sick to my stomach, grieved and angered whether the person is black or white, when the "name it and claim it" starts. And while I was watching and listening to my coworkers talk in that all-to-familiar heretical language, my hostility towards the African American race grew. This was sin! It isn't sin to stand up for the truth of the gospel. It is sin to have hatred and judgement in my heart for an entire race! And let me just go ahead and lay it all on the table...I was prejudice anyway. My heart was and still is so very dark. I was going to be prejudice against this race of people, made in God's image, no matter what it was. I have had to come to grips with that fact. God would have it no other way because God is all Truth. There is heresy in every shape and form here in America, and I don't have those same negative feelings against any other race or nationality. I lived in Dallas for almost two years. There, both blacks and whites are prejudice against the Mexican people. I never understood that. And yet, my heart is so prone to a depravity that has left me dripping with bitterness and prejudice against African Americans. SIN!! Wickedness! There is nothing in the world that lends to credible excuse for my feelings against this people, no matter what they do. Period!
It is true that the prosperity gospel is killing us here in America. Let me quote my pastor, Bryan Loritts, in a sermon that was preached to Baptist ministers entitled "Preach the Word". Bryan said, " The prosperity gospel is killing the church of Jesus Christ. It makes you wonder what bible are they reading. These prosperity heretics must literally cut out the whole book of Job. They must literally cut out the teachings of Jesus....cut out the teachings of Paul. I say to the 'name-it-and-claim-it' prosperity teachers what Paul says to the Judaizers in Galatians chapter 1, 'Let him who preaches another gospel be (anathema) eternally condemned.'"
But I don't want to come across as making excuses for my wicked sin. It's not the fact that I hated the prosperity gospel, it was the fact that I hated the people themselves, the people that I saw as nothing else but color. It was about race and prejudice, not about standing up for the Truth, in the love of Christ. It was wickedness. It was sin. It IS sin. I can't put it in the past tense yet; I still struggle with it every single day. I have to ask God to forgive me several times at work each and every day. I have to plead forgiveness so much, just living and interacting with the African American community here in Memphis. But are we whites even a tiny speck better? No, no, a thousand times NO! Sin isn't bias, it wants everyone. And sin has a strong hold on black and white alike in our beloved city. So why do I struggle more with the wicked black than I do with wicked white? I hate and grieve over what my sin cost Jesus Christ. I hate and grieve over what the sin of those who follow the prosperity gospel cost Him also. But am I not to have God's heart for all the lost, regardless of color?. Yes! But I still have a prideful heart. For it is only wicked pride that makes me think better of myself than any other person on earth, including this race of people!
So then comes another part of my prejudice heart towards the people of this race; the music I hear them play at work. They would have Hallelujah FM blaring throughout the warehouse, and I just became so hardened to the whole thing, hearing wonderful praise and worship music, when all I could think of is "Who ya praisin?, not the God of the bible." I became hardened to a whole RACE of people made in the image of God!! I wanted nothing to do with their "religion", but also, I wanted nothing to do with THEM. In my heart, it became all about prejudice against this entire race of people.
I know this is hard to read. Believe me when I tell you that it is hard to say. I have to face the fact that all of this vile, wicked sin is coming straight from the heart of none other than ME, Dana Greenslade. I am so ashamed. I am so grieved. I am so sick of myself and my self-righteous pride! I don't want to reveal this, but my Lord wants me to. And He will be glorified! So let's press on...
In March of last year, Central Church (my church at the time) sponsored a huge event for women called Redemption 2009. Our director of women's ministries, Ellen Olford, and Priscilla Shirer teamed up to put this event together. It was to bring about racial reconciliation in the Christian community. It was talked about a lot in the weeks prior. A tremendous amount of people in my church were so very excited. I wasn't. I was struggling. There was a war being raged in my heart. And I have to say, I don't believe that I wanted Jesus to win that battle in my life at that time. I don't think I wanted to have my sin removed. I was standing quite firm on my self-righteous platform. My heart was so hard, and I wanted to fight against the Holy Spirit, working through His holy conviction. I wasn't ready to repent. Why would I want to go hold hands all weekend, and sing praises together to MY Lord with a bunch of heretics? Why would I want to join together with them and pretend that we were all worshipping the same God? But you know what...if you are a child of God, every single week in church you are worshipping alongside believers and non-believers alike. God knows who belongs to Him. The wheat and the tares grow together. (Matthew 13:29,30) We weren't being asked to agree with every single woman in the place with where she stands on the true gospel of the bible. We were asked to come together to start a healing process, a racial reconciliation process among the body of Christ, and even beyond. It was to reach across the pew, to whomever you might be sitting next to, and love that person where they were. It was to be hand clasping hand, black and white mingled together. If they were your sister, greet them as such. If you didn't know, tell them how glad you are to meet them and open a door. Be the salt and light of Christ!! Come and plead for God to MOVE among all the women there! It won't be until we get to heaven that every single person around us, while worshipping the Lord, will be only the redeemed! That doesn't stop me from joyously going to church every single week, lifting my hands to the heavens and praising the King of kings and Lords of lords. So why did I let something stop me from wanting to go that weekend? SIN!
I had to work that Friday night, so I didn't even have to wrestle with going. I live right down the street from the meeting place. Saturday morning rolled around. I got off work and wrestled within myself about walking down there. I decided to go. People were just starting to show up in pretty good numbers, a few hundred. The day hadn't officially start yet, but there was already a choir singing on stage. The song was great, one that I liked. My heart was rebelling with every ounce of wicked energy Satan and I could muster, but because the song was good, I tried to listen to it instead of the sin in my heart. I did fine for a few minutes until the choir started singing a song that I thought I remembered hearing at work, from Hallelujah FM. The hatred and bitterness started bubbling even harder and faster in my heart and in my spirit. "Here we go", I thought. My sin was so tremendous, so grievous. I allowed that sin to dominate my entire being that morning. My heart was stone-cold. I HATED those people. I imagined every single African American woman in that building thinking all the "name-it-and-claim-it thoughts while she was singing that song, with hands lifted high. I had to get out of there fast. I made a beeline for the exit and got home as fast as I could. I wanted to be alone in my horrible, prideful, selfish sin. Yet while I was walking, the Holy Spirit was convicting me. I argued, OUT LOUD, with Him all the way home, which, fortunately for me was only a few short minutes. The tears that I couldn't stop from flowing were coming from emotions that ran the gamut. I didn't WANT to let go of my sin, my bitterness and prejudice! I WANTED to hate. And I wanted to hate for the sake of God, but there was no way He was going to be untrue to His nature just to appease me. Amen for that!! God was NOT going to pat me on the back and tell me that it was ok, that He understood and I didn't have to worry about it. NO, God laid me so low; He laid me flat! He gave me a spiritual body slam, which I needed. If left to my own, I would have justified my heart and my actions over and over again to myself for the rest of my life. BUT GOD!! Don't you just love those two words,"But God"?
That was the day that God started really dealing with me hard, straight to the point on my sin of prejudice. It has to go if I am to lead a Spirit-filled life. It has to go if I am going to live in close communion with my Father and with my Savior and Lord! And as you can tell from my previous posts on this subject, I still have a long way to go. But God has not forsaken me, even in my most shameful sins! I praise Him for that. It is an every single day, pleading with the Lord of glory, Very God of Very God, to deal with me however He decides best, in ridding me of this sin of prejudice. And He has been working in my life so much in this area. It amazes me, His mercy and grace, to someone as vile as I. So undeserving of anything but everlasting punishment in hell.
And so, after everything I have revealed in these three posts, I want to bring you up-to-the-minute details of where I am, and what God is so lovingly doing to me and for me, all for His glory and my good. Sunday, I went to hear pastor Bryan preach and incredible sermon. I worshipped the Lord of life and glory, with hands lifted high, among my white AND black brothers and sisters in Christ. And God blessed me in this worship with more joy and peace than I have ever known in my LIFE! My son was there of course. He brought a friend of his for the second week in a row. She is the sweetest woman! She is raising four children by herself, working, and doing it all with cancer, and while undergoing treatment. And she is doing it all with a smile in her heart! She is precious! And along with my son, his friend and her four children, my niece Casey, the darling girl of my heart, came too. Her husband and children couldn't come, so she road with Joshua and Melody. It was wonderful. And then, Sunday evening I went down the street to Downtown Presbyterian to worship with black and while alike, from all different backgrounds. And I was fed by God through the preaching of Richard Reives. And can you guess what a good portion of his sermon dealt with? He preached from Galatians. He preached from a heart filled with the Holy Spirit for the body of Christ to stop dividing! He spoke to so many things that God is working on in my life, dealing with my wicked, prideful sin of prejudice. WOW!! Awesome...God is so awesome. I was truly in awe of my Lord the entire sermon. I had to go talk to Richard afterwards. I had to tell him how deeply grateful to God I was in the fact that He wanted to grow me even more, that very moment while listening to the sermon. I spoke to him from my heart of how gracious and merciful God is when He is bringing about the holiness of Jesus Christ in the heart and lives of His children. Think about it...my sin has been going on for so very long. And I nourished it and protected it, and even loved it, wanted it and didn't want to let it go. God could have struck me dead! He could have struck me leprous. He could have opened up the ground to swallow me whole, then closed the ground back over me. No matter what He decided to do about my continual sin, He would have been righteous and just! But He has been so loving and gracious, even when He chose to spiritually gut kick and body slam me. Think of how we react when someone has sinned so terribly against US!! Or maybe against someone who is precious to us. If we don't take it immediately to the cross, we could end up wanting BLOOD! Can you think back to the last time that you wronged someone that didn't want to be nice about your offense? It is possible that they wouldn't want anything to do with you until you came to them and gave them an entire confession...outlined with power points of how you messed up, how you realize all the ways you messed up, and what you plan to do over the next hundred years making it up to them. Or how about the way I tend to be as a woman. When someone I care about really wrongs me, yet I am too stubborn and prideful to go to them and tell them how what they did made me feel. I just sit back and wait for them to figure it out, and then come up with a plan, all by themselves, on how they will get back in my good graces. Hopefully now, as a child of God, this would no longer be an example of how I would react, but hey, ya never know with this sinner!
My point to Richard was this: When God convicts His child of a sin, He doesn't then tell us to run along and figure it out all by ourselves, and don't come back to Him until we do. He doesn't convict of sin and then turn His back on us until we have made everything right and worked it all out. He doesn't break us over our sins and then not give us any understanding or any help. No, He loves His children so much, He shows such grace and mercy, and He stays right there with us every step of the way in getting this sin out of our lives. He lights the way. He reveals His truth about the sin, and about His holy standard for our lives as we walk with Christ, ever becoming more like Him. He is our Teacher and our Guide. And when He does have to crush us, wound us, and break us in order to bring us back into right relationship with Himself, He is right there to hold us and comfort us through those tears of brokenness, and we kiss the Hand that wounds us! We love and adore Him for His holy, righteous and just corrections. God could have been so mad at me that after He thoroughly revealed my sin, He left me to figure it out all by myself, and not return to Him until I did, and until I had put a solution into place, and had a proven working track record of improvement. But that would go against His very nature. "I will never leave you. I will never forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5) I pointed out to Richard in a very brief summary how God has been the One who so graciously has been leading me to all the people and all the places where He wants me, in dealing with my sin of a prejudice heart. Look at all He has done and is doing for me! It's amazing, but it's just like our great Jehovah God, my Father, my Savior and Shepherd, my Teacher and Comforter. His patience, grace, mercy, and love abound to me, His child. I stay in awe of Him for what He is doing in my life to not only change me, but to bless me in the midst of those changes. The change is necessary as a child of the One True God. It is necessary for Him to deal with this besetting sin of mine in whatever way He deems appropriate, through His perfect wisdom and knowledge. But in His sovereign grace, mercy, and compassion, what amazes me is that He chooses to BLESS me in the midst of this necessary change! It could have been a long term punishment that I certainly deserved. No matter what He chooses, I praise His holy Name for whatever He decides.
God wanted this revealed. And He didn't want me to wait until I had time to ponder the fallout from revealing the vileness of my heart. Satan has had a FIELD DAY with me since my first post of racial reconciliation. Every fear he could think of, he has tried to wreak havoc in my heart and mind. He has tried to steal my peace and my resolve to obey my Master, no matter what the cost...no matter! All God calls me to do is obey Him, to serve Him faithfully, to follow my Shepherd wherever He leads. He wants me to obey with all joy, and leave the results in His sovereign, capable hands. He wants me to trust Him and praise Him, even if the world punishes me greatly for revealing this wicked sin in my life. Hey, even if it means that some in the church turn their backs on me. What is that to me? Has the Lord Omnipotent turned HIS back on me? No. Never. So why would I allow Satan to torture me with worry of what might come of this? Is it not all in the hands of Jehovah God? Yes. And even with the comfort that God is in control, my heart doesn't cease from breaking over all the African American people whom I have hurt from the prejudice daggers coming from my heart. I am exactly where God wants me in regards to putting to death this wicked sin and exactly where He wants me, from all the years of letting it run rampant..broken. And in my brokenness, God reaches a loving hand down to me, and strokes the face of His child, even me. Oh, how I will sing all the days of my life of His goodness! Won't you, black and while alike, my brothers and sisters in Christ, please take my hand and sing with me? The Lord God Omnipotent Reigneth!! Hallelujah, Amen!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Racial Reconciliation, Part 2
I ask that if you haven't read my previous post on racial reconciliation, you stop right here and read it first. It is very relevant to this post which continues a wonderful story of God's grace and mercy.
I went to church again this Sunday night at Downtown Presbyterian. The church met for the very first time last Sunday night, and I praise God that He lead me there. My church, Fellowship Memphis, doesn't have Sunday evening service, so I went to DP. The pastor's name is Richard Rieves. Wow, is he being used mightily by the Lord! I've known Richard many years, not very well, but known him. He and his wife are friends with my oldest brother and his wife. In fact, my brother and his family still attend a church that Richard planted here several years ago. God moved Richard to other parts of the country to plant other churches, and now has brought him back to Memphis. God's will was for Richard to start a church downtown, and it happens to be on the same street where I live. Richard and I are FB friends, and he put out the word that he would love for everyone to come and be a part of what God is doing in downtown and throughout Memphis. I prayed about it, and went last week. Then they had a luncheon Thursday, and an African American man of God by the name of Elliot Greene was the guest speaker. I went to that, and went again to church tonight for the second week. I've spent time saying all of this for a reason.
Before I went to lunch Thursday, I had no idea that Elliot Greene was African American. I know that I had been really charged up in my heart and spirit when I heard Richard talk about Elliot last Sunday night, in preparation for Thursday. All I knew was that I surely didn't want to miss it. (Elliot is devoted to Jesus Christ, and it is evident in everything about him.) Almost every man in the room was white. It took several minutes before we got started. As I was sitting at the table during that time, waiting for things to get underway, I played a little game with myself. I started studying every male in the room, looking at their mannerisms, their dress, smiles, body language, and trying to figure out which one was this great man of God that Richard had spoken so highly of. I have to confess, and I am so very ashamed to say it, but it NEVER crossed my mind that one of the two or three African American gentlemen present in the room could be Elliot Greene! Really and truly, it never even crossed my mind. Even with as much as God has done in my heart, my natural self never even gave those two or three men a thought about being the one who was going to spiritually feed me. WOW! You know, as much as that probably sickens, grieves and angers you, it sickens, grieves and SHOCKS me that I wasn't even aware of my discounting him until I learned who he was. While standing in line to get my plate, I was talking to Rachael, Richard's wife. And I actually said to her, "Which one is he, because I've been looking at all these men, trying to see if I could figure out which one he was." She said, "There he is, right there." And she pointed to the African American man standing about 15 feet from me. I have to say that I am so thankful that I didn't have to wear my shock on the outside of me, or that there wasn't some kind of external feeling and emotion detector, because I would have been mortified! My shame of that instant reaction in my heart was horrible. It was horrible! It's one of the worst feelings I have had in a very long time. And it is because God has been so graciously breaking my heart over my sin of prejudice. God put it right in my face, and showed me, once again, my need for His grace, every single minute of every single day, in every situation, to kill this sin inside of me...this sin that crucified my precious Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ!
Maybe the shock did show on my face, I don't know. I had to turn away from Rachael in order to see who she was pointing to. I don't know what was going on with my face but I know that my emotions roared through my mind, heart, and spirit like a freight train. The reactions were all split second, rapid fire succession. And I don't even know if I am aware of all of them. I do know that the first reaction was shock. After hearing Elliot's bio on the Sunday night before, I knew that this man was a spiritual giant! He has done so much, and continues to do so much for the Lord. He is truly one of the great servants of Jesus in our time. (You should check him out.) Anyway, after the shock came disbelief and yes, disappointment, along the same lines of Crawford Loritts, just like before, only very brief this time because of all that God is doing to change my wicked heart. But it was still there. I am so ashamed, and even a little apprehensive in admitting it. I know I run the risk of being hated for what I am revealing about my sin. I only pray that whatever the results, God will be glorified!
Conviction, loving but firm from the Holy Spirit was next. God put my sin in plain view of my mind, my heart, soul and spirit. He showed me the ugly image coming from the very core of my being. It was heinous, hideous, filthy wickedness! Then the grief followed....unspeakable grief. How could my heart be so evil, so dirty and wretched?!! How could I have such horrible pride living on the inside of me, the same body where the Holy Spirit of Jehovah God dwells? Who am I? Nothing! Nobody! Could it really be me? Could I really be that wretched? Yes, I could and I am. Even now, as the tears flow while typing, I am so grieved and ashamed. I don't want it to be me, but it is.
When the Holy Spirit is having His way with me, there is nothing in me that wants to draw conclusions based on what color I see when I look at someone else. There is nothing in me that wants to see anything that would divide me from my brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what that might be. There are so many ways that the body of Christ can divide instead of unite, just by our color or nationality. We do divide in so many different ways, even down to splitting over what kind of music should be played during worship. Or even Christians who have anger, bitterness, and resentment towards their brother or sister in Christ who takes "their" seat at church on Sunday morning. And when I hear of someone like that, I wag my spiritual finger and get disgusted. But what do you think the Lord of life and glory sees when He looks inside of MY dark, sinful heart? Yet He is merciful to me. His grace and His mercy, His patience and His love ABOUND to me! Beloved, the grief and repentance that followed this sin, and every sin I commit, IS FROM HIM!! It's not from me. His grace, His grace, His grace. It is all from Him if I am broken over my sin. It is all His work in me, if I want no part of my sin nature. He is the One who imparts in me the never-ending desire to be like my Jesus! It's not me, beloved, it's not me. I'm not capable. If left to myself, I would revel in my prejudice. I would justify it with a million different reasons that I have collected and stored away through the years, concerning the African American race. I praise God for breaking my heart, and for doing WHATEVER He has to do to kill that iniquity inside me. I have nurtured this wicked sin for far too long in my life. Now, the Holy Spirit of God tells me that it is time to have no pity on it. I can't rationalize it away, and I will not justify it. Through the work of Jesus, in the power of the Holy Spirit, it HAS to die. No matter what, it has to die. Oh most holy, merciful Father, crush me, break me, whatever it takes to make me like my Lord Jesus Christ. And be GLORIFIED Lord, be magnified! How I love You, oh how I love You! (Please read parts 1 & 3)
I went to church again this Sunday night at Downtown Presbyterian. The church met for the very first time last Sunday night, and I praise God that He lead me there. My church, Fellowship Memphis, doesn't have Sunday evening service, so I went to DP. The pastor's name is Richard Rieves. Wow, is he being used mightily by the Lord! I've known Richard many years, not very well, but known him. He and his wife are friends with my oldest brother and his wife. In fact, my brother and his family still attend a church that Richard planted here several years ago. God moved Richard to other parts of the country to plant other churches, and now has brought him back to Memphis. God's will was for Richard to start a church downtown, and it happens to be on the same street where I live. Richard and I are FB friends, and he put out the word that he would love for everyone to come and be a part of what God is doing in downtown and throughout Memphis. I prayed about it, and went last week. Then they had a luncheon Thursday, and an African American man of God by the name of Elliot Greene was the guest speaker. I went to that, and went again to church tonight for the second week. I've spent time saying all of this for a reason.
Before I went to lunch Thursday, I had no idea that Elliot Greene was African American. I know that I had been really charged up in my heart and spirit when I heard Richard talk about Elliot last Sunday night, in preparation for Thursday. All I knew was that I surely didn't want to miss it. (Elliot is devoted to Jesus Christ, and it is evident in everything about him.) Almost every man in the room was white. It took several minutes before we got started. As I was sitting at the table during that time, waiting for things to get underway, I played a little game with myself. I started studying every male in the room, looking at their mannerisms, their dress, smiles, body language, and trying to figure out which one was this great man of God that Richard had spoken so highly of. I have to confess, and I am so very ashamed to say it, but it NEVER crossed my mind that one of the two or three African American gentlemen present in the room could be Elliot Greene! Really and truly, it never even crossed my mind. Even with as much as God has done in my heart, my natural self never even gave those two or three men a thought about being the one who was going to spiritually feed me. WOW! You know, as much as that probably sickens, grieves and angers you, it sickens, grieves and SHOCKS me that I wasn't even aware of my discounting him until I learned who he was. While standing in line to get my plate, I was talking to Rachael, Richard's wife. And I actually said to her, "Which one is he, because I've been looking at all these men, trying to see if I could figure out which one he was." She said, "There he is, right there." And she pointed to the African American man standing about 15 feet from me. I have to say that I am so thankful that I didn't have to wear my shock on the outside of me, or that there wasn't some kind of external feeling and emotion detector, because I would have been mortified! My shame of that instant reaction in my heart was horrible. It was horrible! It's one of the worst feelings I have had in a very long time. And it is because God has been so graciously breaking my heart over my sin of prejudice. God put it right in my face, and showed me, once again, my need for His grace, every single minute of every single day, in every situation, to kill this sin inside of me...this sin that crucified my precious Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ!
Maybe the shock did show on my face, I don't know. I had to turn away from Rachael in order to see who she was pointing to. I don't know what was going on with my face but I know that my emotions roared through my mind, heart, and spirit like a freight train. The reactions were all split second, rapid fire succession. And I don't even know if I am aware of all of them. I do know that the first reaction was shock. After hearing Elliot's bio on the Sunday night before, I knew that this man was a spiritual giant! He has done so much, and continues to do so much for the Lord. He is truly one of the great servants of Jesus in our time. (You should check him out.) Anyway, after the shock came disbelief and yes, disappointment, along the same lines of Crawford Loritts, just like before, only very brief this time because of all that God is doing to change my wicked heart. But it was still there. I am so ashamed, and even a little apprehensive in admitting it. I know I run the risk of being hated for what I am revealing about my sin. I only pray that whatever the results, God will be glorified!
Conviction, loving but firm from the Holy Spirit was next. God put my sin in plain view of my mind, my heart, soul and spirit. He showed me the ugly image coming from the very core of my being. It was heinous, hideous, filthy wickedness! Then the grief followed....unspeakable grief. How could my heart be so evil, so dirty and wretched?!! How could I have such horrible pride living on the inside of me, the same body where the Holy Spirit of Jehovah God dwells? Who am I? Nothing! Nobody! Could it really be me? Could I really be that wretched? Yes, I could and I am. Even now, as the tears flow while typing, I am so grieved and ashamed. I don't want it to be me, but it is.
When the Holy Spirit is having His way with me, there is nothing in me that wants to draw conclusions based on what color I see when I look at someone else. There is nothing in me that wants to see anything that would divide me from my brothers and sisters in Christ, no matter what that might be. There are so many ways that the body of Christ can divide instead of unite, just by our color or nationality. We do divide in so many different ways, even down to splitting over what kind of music should be played during worship. Or even Christians who have anger, bitterness, and resentment towards their brother or sister in Christ who takes "their" seat at church on Sunday morning. And when I hear of someone like that, I wag my spiritual finger and get disgusted. But what do you think the Lord of life and glory sees when He looks inside of MY dark, sinful heart? Yet He is merciful to me. His grace and His mercy, His patience and His love ABOUND to me! Beloved, the grief and repentance that followed this sin, and every sin I commit, IS FROM HIM!! It's not from me. His grace, His grace, His grace. It is all from Him if I am broken over my sin. It is all His work in me, if I want no part of my sin nature. He is the One who imparts in me the never-ending desire to be like my Jesus! It's not me, beloved, it's not me. I'm not capable. If left to myself, I would revel in my prejudice. I would justify it with a million different reasons that I have collected and stored away through the years, concerning the African American race. I praise God for breaking my heart, and for doing WHATEVER He has to do to kill that iniquity inside me. I have nurtured this wicked sin for far too long in my life. Now, the Holy Spirit of God tells me that it is time to have no pity on it. I can't rationalize it away, and I will not justify it. Through the work of Jesus, in the power of the Holy Spirit, it HAS to die. No matter what, it has to die. Oh most holy, merciful Father, crush me, break me, whatever it takes to make me like my Lord Jesus Christ. And be GLORIFIED Lord, be magnified! How I love You, oh how I love You! (Please read parts 1 & 3)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Does Jesus Know You?
In our Christian culture, we talk a lot about knowing Christ. You will often here it being asked of someone, "Do you know the Lord?" And if that is the only way someone is comfortable with starting a conversation about Jesus, then that's definitely better than nothing. I tend to struggle with how to get a conversation started about my Savior. I know sometimes when my fear kicks in and I don't know how to directly deal with someone who is lost, I can always tell them what Jesus means to me. Almost always I can find the voice to speak of all the wonderful things that my Lord and Savior has so mercifully and graciously done for me, starting with saving me, paying the penalty for my sins, redeeming my life from destruction. There is never any fear in telling of my intimate relationship with the Lover of my soul. I proclaim to the mountaintops this love I have for my heavenly Husband. Yes, I know the Lord intimately through salvation and a growing relationship.
You will often times hear a Christian ask another person if they know the Lord. In asking that, it's asking if they have ever repented of their sins and asked the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive them, to come into their heart and be their Savior and Lord. But we need, I need, to go deeper than that when reaching the lost for Christ. The question that is most important is "Does the Lord Jesus know YOU?!" Beloved, it's not enough just to say that you "know" Jesus, when in fact you are not saved. The evil one of this world, Satan, knows Jesus. Even the demons know Jesus. Matthew 7:21-23 says, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.'" WOW!! Think about it. These are not people who never bothered to have anything to do with religion here on this earth. These aren't people who proclaimed hatred for Jesus, loathing all the things of Christianity. These are church people!! Beloved, these people won't be casually saying, "Oh, come on Jesus, can't You just let me in?" Or "Yeah, I know I didn't want anything to do with religion while on earth but can't you just make this one exception and let me in?" No, these people are in SHOCK! "Lord, LORD...look at all I did for You during my life! I went to church every single week. Lord, I was a door greater for 37 years! Lord, I was a deacon or elder and spent so much time ministering to the flock! Lord, I faithfully gave my tithe to the church for 56 years! Lord, I dedicated my time to teaching the children in Sunday school! Lord, I taught bible study! Lord, I baked a pie and took it to a home every single time a mother gave birth! Lord, I talked about you every chance I got with my coworkers! Lord, I had a Master's degree in religion!"
Do you get where I'm going? It's what Jesus was saying in that verse. These are people who thought, really thought, that they were going to heaven. These people claimed to be Christians for years and years on earth. They don't react lightly when Jesus proclaims that He never knew them. It breaks my heart when I think about how devastating that is going to be for the ones standing at the Great White Throne Judgement on that Day. It tears me up inside to think that maybe even some that I know, maybe even some that I love so much, maybe even some that I pray so fervently for, will be one of the "many" that hears those righteous words of Judgement from the Lord, right before being sent to hell for all eternity. Sometimes I don't want to think about it, because it hurts me so deeply. But if I turn it off and tune it out, then I will become numb to the fact that people are dying every single day without Christ. And so many of those people really thought they were going to heaven. Jesus doesn't say that there will be a "few", or even that there will be "some", He makes it clear that there will be "MANY"! many...many... I can't get that word out of my heart, or out of my thoughts. But as painful as it is to think about, if I didn't think about it, I wouldn't want to DO anything about it. And it is the heart and passion that God has given me.
You want to know what one of my biggest fears is? What makes me weep when I think about it? Let's just say that I know someone personally whom I KNOW doesn't really know the Lord. Someone who says, "Yeah, back in 1978 I asked Jesus into my heart. I'm saved, but I just don't really care to live that so-called Christian life. I'm a pretty good person, and I know Jesus understands." Now, suppose I decide that I'm just too afraid to confront their life filled with wickedness and sin against a holy God. Or what if it is a really nice woman at church who thinks that because she is always there and helping out, and saying really nice things, and cares about everyone, that she's going to heaven. Either way, what if out of fear, or even out of lack of concern for their soul, I remain silent each time I am with that person, whether it be only once or twice, or whether it be over a period of years. What if I never say anything and just leave their salvation issue alone. Then on the last day, right before they are sent to hell for all eternity, I am face to face with them. And they, with a grief-stricken heart, in shock and horror, with tears streaming down their face and anguish in their eyes say to me, "Dana, all along you knew! You knew I was lost when I thought I was saved! You knew from lack of any spiritual fruit in my life what-so-ever that my "salvation" wasn't true, and you said NOTHING! How could you do that? How could you go all that time and never even bother to tell me that you were afraid that I might not really be saved? How could you not at least plead with me to examine my faith, to test it in light of scripture? How could you care more about hurting my feelings or loosing my friendship than about me spending all eternity in torment, separated from Jesus, the one that you say you love so much? Why didn't you at least try, even if that meant I might never speak to you again? Why didn't you love me enough to say something?"
What excuse would I have? What excuse would hold water with my Lord? NONE! There is nothing I could say to justify my lack of action. There would be nothing I could say to that person at that time to convince them that I really did love them, and really did care. If I loved them, wouldn't I have at least said that I was afraid that theirs wasn't a true saving faith? But I go every day of my life without addressing the issue with those whom I fear have a false sense of salvation. Why don't I at least just ask them to examine themselves to see whether they be in the faith? (2 Cor 13:5) If I care so much that it keeps me in tears about the fact that I just might have some "many"s in my life, then what am I willing to do about it? Am I willing to risk loosing friendships? Am I willing to be talked bad about? Am I willing to be hated for the sake of salvation for someone else, to the glory of God? Sometimes, many times, most times, I fail! I fail my Lord Jesus Christ and I fail those whom I fear to be lost. I fail! But I plead every day on my face at the throne of all grace, mercy, and strength, to be faithful to my God. He has given me a heart for this problem we have here in America, with such easy believeism. It is here in America and it has hit home with my own little world, and I want to be faithful in all that my Master is calling me to. I want to love those in my world enough to risk having them hate me. For how would I feel if they loved me now, and thought I was the GREATEST, and then hated me for all eternity in hell, for not truly loving them while here on earth? God, please God, help me love!
You will often times hear a Christian ask another person if they know the Lord. In asking that, it's asking if they have ever repented of their sins and asked the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive them, to come into their heart and be their Savior and Lord. But we need, I need, to go deeper than that when reaching the lost for Christ. The question that is most important is "Does the Lord Jesus know YOU?!" Beloved, it's not enough just to say that you "know" Jesus, when in fact you are not saved. The evil one of this world, Satan, knows Jesus. Even the demons know Jesus. Matthew 7:21-23 says, "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.'" WOW!! Think about it. These are not people who never bothered to have anything to do with religion here on this earth. These aren't people who proclaimed hatred for Jesus, loathing all the things of Christianity. These are church people!! Beloved, these people won't be casually saying, "Oh, come on Jesus, can't You just let me in?" Or "Yeah, I know I didn't want anything to do with religion while on earth but can't you just make this one exception and let me in?" No, these people are in SHOCK! "Lord, LORD...look at all I did for You during my life! I went to church every single week. Lord, I was a door greater for 37 years! Lord, I was a deacon or elder and spent so much time ministering to the flock! Lord, I faithfully gave my tithe to the church for 56 years! Lord, I dedicated my time to teaching the children in Sunday school! Lord, I taught bible study! Lord, I baked a pie and took it to a home every single time a mother gave birth! Lord, I talked about you every chance I got with my coworkers! Lord, I had a Master's degree in religion!"
Do you get where I'm going? It's what Jesus was saying in that verse. These are people who thought, really thought, that they were going to heaven. These people claimed to be Christians for years and years on earth. They don't react lightly when Jesus proclaims that He never knew them. It breaks my heart when I think about how devastating that is going to be for the ones standing at the Great White Throne Judgement on that Day. It tears me up inside to think that maybe even some that I know, maybe even some that I love so much, maybe even some that I pray so fervently for, will be one of the "many" that hears those righteous words of Judgement from the Lord, right before being sent to hell for all eternity. Sometimes I don't want to think about it, because it hurts me so deeply. But if I turn it off and tune it out, then I will become numb to the fact that people are dying every single day without Christ. And so many of those people really thought they were going to heaven. Jesus doesn't say that there will be a "few", or even that there will be "some", He makes it clear that there will be "MANY"! many...many... I can't get that word out of my heart, or out of my thoughts. But as painful as it is to think about, if I didn't think about it, I wouldn't want to DO anything about it. And it is the heart and passion that God has given me.
You want to know what one of my biggest fears is? What makes me weep when I think about it? Let's just say that I know someone personally whom I KNOW doesn't really know the Lord. Someone who says, "Yeah, back in 1978 I asked Jesus into my heart. I'm saved, but I just don't really care to live that so-called Christian life. I'm a pretty good person, and I know Jesus understands." Now, suppose I decide that I'm just too afraid to confront their life filled with wickedness and sin against a holy God. Or what if it is a really nice woman at church who thinks that because she is always there and helping out, and saying really nice things, and cares about everyone, that she's going to heaven. Either way, what if out of fear, or even out of lack of concern for their soul, I remain silent each time I am with that person, whether it be only once or twice, or whether it be over a period of years. What if I never say anything and just leave their salvation issue alone. Then on the last day, right before they are sent to hell for all eternity, I am face to face with them. And they, with a grief-stricken heart, in shock and horror, with tears streaming down their face and anguish in their eyes say to me, "Dana, all along you knew! You knew I was lost when I thought I was saved! You knew from lack of any spiritual fruit in my life what-so-ever that my "salvation" wasn't true, and you said NOTHING! How could you do that? How could you go all that time and never even bother to tell me that you were afraid that I might not really be saved? How could you not at least plead with me to examine my faith, to test it in light of scripture? How could you care more about hurting my feelings or loosing my friendship than about me spending all eternity in torment, separated from Jesus, the one that you say you love so much? Why didn't you at least try, even if that meant I might never speak to you again? Why didn't you love me enough to say something?"
What excuse would I have? What excuse would hold water with my Lord? NONE! There is nothing I could say to justify my lack of action. There would be nothing I could say to that person at that time to convince them that I really did love them, and really did care. If I loved them, wouldn't I have at least said that I was afraid that theirs wasn't a true saving faith? But I go every day of my life without addressing the issue with those whom I fear have a false sense of salvation. Why don't I at least just ask them to examine themselves to see whether they be in the faith? (2 Cor 13:5) If I care so much that it keeps me in tears about the fact that I just might have some "many"s in my life, then what am I willing to do about it? Am I willing to risk loosing friendships? Am I willing to be talked bad about? Am I willing to be hated for the sake of salvation for someone else, to the glory of God? Sometimes, many times, most times, I fail! I fail my Lord Jesus Christ and I fail those whom I fear to be lost. I fail! But I plead every day on my face at the throne of all grace, mercy, and strength, to be faithful to my God. He has given me a heart for this problem we have here in America, with such easy believeism. It is here in America and it has hit home with my own little world, and I want to be faithful in all that my Master is calling me to. I want to love those in my world enough to risk having them hate me. For how would I feel if they loved me now, and thought I was the GREATEST, and then hated me for all eternity in hell, for not truly loving them while here on earth? God, please God, help me love!
Racial Reconciliation for the Body of Christ
I have been hit so hard lately by the Holy Spirit through my lead pastor, Bryan Loritts. At Fellowship Memphis Crichton location, the pulpit is shared. All of the pastors, except for Bryan, are white. I have grown so much, in the short time I have been at this church, from all the teachings of each pastor. But it is through some of Bryan's sermons that I have been spiritually gut kicked. And it is exactly what I have been praying for. I started listening to his sermons online quite a while before actually going to the church. I knew God was answering my prayer, and leading me down a path that I longed for so much, but knew I could never accomplish myself, in my own prejudice-prone heart. It is the path of racial reconciliation for His body, starting right here, for me that is, in my own heart and soul. Since my salvation almost 7 years ago, I have confessed my sin of prejudice on a regular basis. It is not a sin that I feel casual about. No sin is casual. EVERY SINGLE SIN cost God so very much! But I have some sins that I weep over more than others. Does that make sense? The sins that I know lead to so many other sins, and have the potential for so much harm to the body of Christ. The ones that hurt the name of my Savior so badly. They stretch so far and reach places that do tremendous harm, not only to the body of Christ, but to the unsaved, who watch us so closely to find fault in this "religion" we claim, to this Person we pledge to be devoted. We claim to love our Lord, yet our sins speak louder than our claims, and end up pushing the unredeemed away from Jesus, instead of towards Him. That is what I'm talking about. And my sins of prejudice fall into that category. They grieve, and I'm sure, anger my Lord tremendously. So I spend much time on my face, pleading for the grace of God to change my wicked heart. I call my prejudice what God does...sin. It is deep seeded and rooted from many years of going unchecked, not being dealt with or really even cared about. Going for years of feeling justified in my evil thoughts towards an entire race of people. But once the Holy Spirit came to live on the inside of me, He began to reveal that which Jehovah God calls sin.
I wasn't raised prejudice against African Americans. Black and white were equal in my family, as far as anything I heard and saw. But then again, I really wasn't exposed to black people. There were none in my church (Methodist) There were, I believe, only two black children in my grade in elementary. (Public school in the sixties) There were none in junior high (A private Baptist school) and only two, I believe, in high school (A private Catholic all-girls school). Not much exposure. Not much opportunity for me to develop a prejudice heart. But still, I never once, in all my childhood, heard my parents speak negatively about "African Americans", ever. I never once, my entire life growing up, heard a slang word used in my parents' home, for black people. Now that's quite an unusual thing here in the south! My entire life, every single time I have ever heard a white person use derogatory language against a black person, I shutter. I can't stand it, never have been able to hear it without a sick feeling in my stomach. That is the way my whole family was, and still is. In fact, a few years ago when we had someone else use that horrible word to describe black people, the shock wave went through my entire family. All of my son's cousins were talking about it because they were in complete shock that "the word" had been used in a Greenslade household! It just wasn't said in my family. We stayed away from talking bad about any race or nationality. Of all the things we talked about, different races just wasn't one of them. But of course, we weren't concerned with racial reconciliation either. It wasn't until on my job of 26 years that it started to develop. I was hired right before my 23rd birthday, and I'm still with the same company. Somewhere along the line, I started forming the opinion that some of the black people were lazy, and that they felt like they didn't have to work much for their money. The seed was planted. It wasn't as if I was outright against any black people, but my sinful assumption started thinking that if you're black at my job, then you're not going to work hard. But that was wicked and wrong. It was sin. It doesn't matter what color you are. Laziness comes in all colors!! Hard workers do too. But I took the actions of a handful and grouped an entire race into that category! It was such a horrible sin against a holy God first, and an entire race second.
After I was saved and started growing in the Lord, I also developed another sin against my God and the African American race. I was so surrounded by people who claimed the name of Christ, all of whom were black, living and proclaiming that the prosperity, word/faith gospel was the truth. They claimed the name of Jesus, all the while waiting for the wealth to fall in their laps. They wouldn't even speak the words of any type of sickness, because that would make it become a reality. And if they wanted money, or nicer cars and bigger homes, then all they had to do was believe and declare it so, and it was a done deal. It didn't matter that their lives were wicked. At work is where I got my first lesson on the word/faith movement, and everyone in it, at my job, happened to be black. That first glimpse of the reality of this heresy left a very bitter taste. It made me sick to my stomach. There's nothing about the prosperity gospel that I wanted any part of, and still don't. But the sin was not that I wanted nothing to do with this false gospel, the sin was in forming bitterness in my heart for the African American race. Once again, because of the actions of a few, I lumped the whole race together as heretics. I got so sick of people claiming to have a "word" from the Lord. I was even told by one lady that she saw Jesus on one of the street corners in Memphis, and proceeded to tell me what special revelation He gave her. I hear it all, such wickedness and sin against God. It just so happens that there's not a white person at my job who is into this false religion. But there are millions upon millions, black and white alike, who follow these false teachings. Because I wasn't exposed to any of the white people proclaiming the word/faith "gospel", I hardened my heart and considered that anyone who says that they are a Christian, and they happen to be black, probably follows the path of "name it and claim it" religion. Let me say right here that there were two white people on my job, before I was saved, that were "religious". In fact, they were very religious. They were so religious that they refused to even speak to me at all because they had heard the rumors of my grossfully sinful sexual lifestyle, and they wanted nothing to do with me! How's that for "Christianity"? But of course, they were white, so I gave them more of a break than I did the religious blacks.
I have developed some very close working relationships with some black people that I care for very much, even to this day. There are so many that I pray for fervently, daily. I would say that I love these people but I would be a hypocrite. Although I feel like I love them, how can I truly love, with the love of Christ, when I feel like their salvation would never be real if they told me that they had been saved. And how can I truly love some of them that I know are steeped in the word/faith movement, when I've never even tried to lead them to the true gospel of Jesus Christ? I've never taken the time to plead with them to let us search the scriptures together and see that word/faith doesn't line up biblically. So how could I make a claim to really love them, even this very day?
There is a preacher by the name of Crawford Loritts. I had, for quite a while, heard some of his teachings. I thought he was right on in his preaching. Everything I heard was lined up with the bible, and he was obviously filled with the Holy Spirit. Then, as God would have it, I found out that he's black. I was shocked, to put it mildly. How could this be? I had, every time I heard him, proclaimed that he was preaching the Truth, the true gospel of Christ. But I thought all black people were word/faith, and all headed down the wrong path. I had never had any contact with any religious black person who didn't hold to that false doctrine. Every single black person I had contact with, who I talked to about Jesus, had ended up talking so highly about Creflo Dollar and others like him. Someone always wanted to give me their own special "word" from the Lord. Or else they would forbid me to say in their presence that it sounded like they were coming down with a cold. So how could it be that this black preacher, Crawford Loritts, was actually preaching the Jesus of the bible? God really knocked me off my feet that day. And I am so extremely grateful that He did! How merciful He was to me when I was so very wicked and prideful. Oh how He could have punished me for such horrible sin against Him and against the African American race!
Fast forward a few years, to today. I am now attending the church planted here in Memphis by a handful of pastors who have a heart for reaching the world, here in Memphis, for the gospel. They have such a heart for racial reconciliation. And the lead pastor is the son of Crawford Loritts. Isn't God so cool? Isn't He awesome? I stay on my face pleading at the throne of all grace and mercy for God to continue to change my heart. I don't want any part of prejudice in my heart or in my life. But I still struggle so much. Jesus has won the victory, but I am still fighting the everyday battle, with the help of the Holy Spirit. I pray for the day when I am not amazed when I meet an African American who is not part of the word/faith movement. I plead for God to rip that sin right out of my heart, and give me His heart for ALL people. And He is faithful! He answers my prayers and He has lead me to some very Godly black Christians, who are my brothers and sisters in Christ! He has shown me that the kingdom of God is for all races. Revelation 5:9 and 7:9 tells us so. Hallelujah!!
It's hard, in a way, to write this blog. It's an ugly, sinful, extremely prideful and wicked side of me that I'd much rather leave unrevealed. But it is sin; and it is pride that would have me keep it concealed when my Master is wanting it revealed. God hates pride! I get so sick of myself when I let pride lead me into sin that I no longer want in my life. I don't want to continue in my old ways of thinking! I don't want my heart and mind. I want the heart of God. I want to be like Jesus! And I want God to break me in whatever way He has to, to accomplish it. God has blessed me so much to lead me to this church! There has always been a joy, since getting saved, every single time I walked into the doors at church. I come from a wonderful church with a pastor who loves the Lord tremendously. But since being lead to Fellowship, I have a joy and peace like I have never known before. And the coolest thing is that I didn't expect it. I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't even know that I could have such a joy. If you would have told me, even a year ago, that I would have more joy than I have ever known, worshipping side by side with as many blacks as whites, I would not have believed it. I would have thought it was not very likely. If you would have told me that I would be praising God with all my heart for putting me under the leadership of an African American pastor, I would have told you that you were crazy. But it's joy unspeakable! Truly! The Lord has lead me to many Godly black people, and this man is being used in a powerful way by the Holy Spirit. I am growing so much in the Lord, being under his teachings. FOOD! SOLID FOOD! Spiritual food for spiritual growth, and growing with all my heart! So, instead of God striking me dead for my wicked prejudice, He was merciful to me. And on the path that He leads me in my walk with Him, He lead me to this church, to this body of believers, and the desire for racial reconciliation. And He has lead me to write about this for some reason, His reason. He is working. He has a plan. He wanted me to speak out about something that is critical in the heart and mind of Jehovah God. Maybe today, He even wants to speak to you! (Please read parts 2 & 3)
I wasn't raised prejudice against African Americans. Black and white were equal in my family, as far as anything I heard and saw. But then again, I really wasn't exposed to black people. There were none in my church (Methodist) There were, I believe, only two black children in my grade in elementary. (Public school in the sixties) There were none in junior high (A private Baptist school) and only two, I believe, in high school (A private Catholic all-girls school). Not much exposure. Not much opportunity for me to develop a prejudice heart. But still, I never once, in all my childhood, heard my parents speak negatively about "African Americans", ever. I never once, my entire life growing up, heard a slang word used in my parents' home, for black people. Now that's quite an unusual thing here in the south! My entire life, every single time I have ever heard a white person use derogatory language against a black person, I shutter. I can't stand it, never have been able to hear it without a sick feeling in my stomach. That is the way my whole family was, and still is. In fact, a few years ago when we had someone else use that horrible word to describe black people, the shock wave went through my entire family. All of my son's cousins were talking about it because they were in complete shock that "the word" had been used in a Greenslade household! It just wasn't said in my family. We stayed away from talking bad about any race or nationality. Of all the things we talked about, different races just wasn't one of them. But of course, we weren't concerned with racial reconciliation either. It wasn't until on my job of 26 years that it started to develop. I was hired right before my 23rd birthday, and I'm still with the same company. Somewhere along the line, I started forming the opinion that some of the black people were lazy, and that they felt like they didn't have to work much for their money. The seed was planted. It wasn't as if I was outright against any black people, but my sinful assumption started thinking that if you're black at my job, then you're not going to work hard. But that was wicked and wrong. It was sin. It doesn't matter what color you are. Laziness comes in all colors!! Hard workers do too. But I took the actions of a handful and grouped an entire race into that category! It was such a horrible sin against a holy God first, and an entire race second.
After I was saved and started growing in the Lord, I also developed another sin against my God and the African American race. I was so surrounded by people who claimed the name of Christ, all of whom were black, living and proclaiming that the prosperity, word/faith gospel was the truth. They claimed the name of Jesus, all the while waiting for the wealth to fall in their laps. They wouldn't even speak the words of any type of sickness, because that would make it become a reality. And if they wanted money, or nicer cars and bigger homes, then all they had to do was believe and declare it so, and it was a done deal. It didn't matter that their lives were wicked. At work is where I got my first lesson on the word/faith movement, and everyone in it, at my job, happened to be black. That first glimpse of the reality of this heresy left a very bitter taste. It made me sick to my stomach. There's nothing about the prosperity gospel that I wanted any part of, and still don't. But the sin was not that I wanted nothing to do with this false gospel, the sin was in forming bitterness in my heart for the African American race. Once again, because of the actions of a few, I lumped the whole race together as heretics. I got so sick of people claiming to have a "word" from the Lord. I was even told by one lady that she saw Jesus on one of the street corners in Memphis, and proceeded to tell me what special revelation He gave her. I hear it all, such wickedness and sin against God. It just so happens that there's not a white person at my job who is into this false religion. But there are millions upon millions, black and white alike, who follow these false teachings. Because I wasn't exposed to any of the white people proclaiming the word/faith "gospel", I hardened my heart and considered that anyone who says that they are a Christian, and they happen to be black, probably follows the path of "name it and claim it" religion. Let me say right here that there were two white people on my job, before I was saved, that were "religious". In fact, they were very religious. They were so religious that they refused to even speak to me at all because they had heard the rumors of my grossfully sinful sexual lifestyle, and they wanted nothing to do with me! How's that for "Christianity"? But of course, they were white, so I gave them more of a break than I did the religious blacks.
I have developed some very close working relationships with some black people that I care for very much, even to this day. There are so many that I pray for fervently, daily. I would say that I love these people but I would be a hypocrite. Although I feel like I love them, how can I truly love, with the love of Christ, when I feel like their salvation would never be real if they told me that they had been saved. And how can I truly love some of them that I know are steeped in the word/faith movement, when I've never even tried to lead them to the true gospel of Jesus Christ? I've never taken the time to plead with them to let us search the scriptures together and see that word/faith doesn't line up biblically. So how could I make a claim to really love them, even this very day?
There is a preacher by the name of Crawford Loritts. I had, for quite a while, heard some of his teachings. I thought he was right on in his preaching. Everything I heard was lined up with the bible, and he was obviously filled with the Holy Spirit. Then, as God would have it, I found out that he's black. I was shocked, to put it mildly. How could this be? I had, every time I heard him, proclaimed that he was preaching the Truth, the true gospel of Christ. But I thought all black people were word/faith, and all headed down the wrong path. I had never had any contact with any religious black person who didn't hold to that false doctrine. Every single black person I had contact with, who I talked to about Jesus, had ended up talking so highly about Creflo Dollar and others like him. Someone always wanted to give me their own special "word" from the Lord. Or else they would forbid me to say in their presence that it sounded like they were coming down with a cold. So how could it be that this black preacher, Crawford Loritts, was actually preaching the Jesus of the bible? God really knocked me off my feet that day. And I am so extremely grateful that He did! How merciful He was to me when I was so very wicked and prideful. Oh how He could have punished me for such horrible sin against Him and against the African American race!
Fast forward a few years, to today. I am now attending the church planted here in Memphis by a handful of pastors who have a heart for reaching the world, here in Memphis, for the gospel. They have such a heart for racial reconciliation. And the lead pastor is the son of Crawford Loritts. Isn't God so cool? Isn't He awesome? I stay on my face pleading at the throne of all grace and mercy for God to continue to change my heart. I don't want any part of prejudice in my heart or in my life. But I still struggle so much. Jesus has won the victory, but I am still fighting the everyday battle, with the help of the Holy Spirit. I pray for the day when I am not amazed when I meet an African American who is not part of the word/faith movement. I plead for God to rip that sin right out of my heart, and give me His heart for ALL people. And He is faithful! He answers my prayers and He has lead me to some very Godly black Christians, who are my brothers and sisters in Christ! He has shown me that the kingdom of God is for all races. Revelation 5:9 and 7:9 tells us so. Hallelujah!!
It's hard, in a way, to write this blog. It's an ugly, sinful, extremely prideful and wicked side of me that I'd much rather leave unrevealed. But it is sin; and it is pride that would have me keep it concealed when my Master is wanting it revealed. God hates pride! I get so sick of myself when I let pride lead me into sin that I no longer want in my life. I don't want to continue in my old ways of thinking! I don't want my heart and mind. I want the heart of God. I want to be like Jesus! And I want God to break me in whatever way He has to, to accomplish it. God has blessed me so much to lead me to this church! There has always been a joy, since getting saved, every single time I walked into the doors at church. I come from a wonderful church with a pastor who loves the Lord tremendously. But since being lead to Fellowship, I have a joy and peace like I have never known before. And the coolest thing is that I didn't expect it. I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't even know that I could have such a joy. If you would have told me, even a year ago, that I would have more joy than I have ever known, worshipping side by side with as many blacks as whites, I would not have believed it. I would have thought it was not very likely. If you would have told me that I would be praising God with all my heart for putting me under the leadership of an African American pastor, I would have told you that you were crazy. But it's joy unspeakable! Truly! The Lord has lead me to many Godly black people, and this man is being used in a powerful way by the Holy Spirit. I am growing so much in the Lord, being under his teachings. FOOD! SOLID FOOD! Spiritual food for spiritual growth, and growing with all my heart! So, instead of God striking me dead for my wicked prejudice, He was merciful to me. And on the path that He leads me in my walk with Him, He lead me to this church, to this body of believers, and the desire for racial reconciliation. And He has lead me to write about this for some reason, His reason. He is working. He has a plan. He wanted me to speak out about something that is critical in the heart and mind of Jehovah God. Maybe today, He even wants to speak to you! (Please read parts 2 & 3)
Haiti
Many heard the comments made by professing Christian Pat Robertson concerning the earthquake in Haiti. He said that in the past, Haiti made a "pact to the devil", for help in getting out from under the French. He said that they have been cursed ever since. He feels that the earthquake is God's judgement against them. I was shocked, grieved, and angered by his comments! I shutter to think how God feels about this man and his opinions.
I watch the news, seeing video and pictures of the devastation and my heart hurts so bad for these people. So much loss of life. Such destruction. Dead bodies are everywhere. Buildings, everything in ruins. So many still missing. Families torn apart. Babies and children roaming the streets looking for parents. Parents who have lost every one of their children, and wonder why God choose to let them live.
Efforts are being made to bring aid to these people. That is where the focus is, help these people in any way we can. But in the midst of people being occupied with compassion and help, some still beg the question of why God allows things like this to happen. It's just like here in America, after the tragic event of 9/11, when people by the millions flocked to church in the days and weeks following.
Jesus addressed calamity in Luke 13:1-9. Since way back in bible times, it has been thought that when something tragic happens to you, it is because you have committed some terrible sin, or living in a very sinful lifestyle. It's the thought that bad things happen to bad people, that the righteous will prosper and the wicked will suffer. You see it even as far back as Job 4:7. It's not to say that God has not, does not, and will not judge. When you sow in sin you will reap judgement. Proverbs 24:16 says, "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity." Galatians 6:7,8 says, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." Back when Jesus was on the earth, the Jews still thought the bad things that happen in your life were a result of sin (John 9:2).
In Luke 13, Jesus is being questioned about a couple of different calamities that had happened there. The people were supposing that the victims of these tragedies had suffered death because of their sin. Jesus questions them about their suppositions in thinking that these victims were the worst of sinners. He deals with the question by warning that unless they repent, they would likewise perish. The question to ask when faced with tragedy is not "why", but "am I saved?". The point is this, death is going to come. We know of course that every Christian alive at the time of Christ's return will be caught up together in the clouds with Jesus, and changed in the twinkling of an eye (1 Thes 4:17). But death is guaranteed for every other person. So since death will come, what Jesus is saying is that you better be ready. You are never guaranteed time to prepare for your death. You don't know when or how it will happen, but it WILL happen. It's not how you die, it's whether once you die, are you headed for heaven or hell? God was very merciful. Look at all the people that did survive the earthquake. He is patient and long suffering. Think of all the stories of God's mercy and grace on so many there in that country. Even here in America on 9/11, think about how many more could have died, and think of all those who survived. God was merciful! Does it really matter the details of how you will die, if when you do, you are headed for hell? We live in a fallen world. Sin, destruction, sorrow and death are all around. God is so gracious and merciful to every single one of us. Because of the fact that He had the right to kill you instantly the second you committed your very first sin after birth, he is already showing you such love and long-suffering. He is giving you time to repent. If you are without Christ, you are going to die and go to hell. Whether you die peacefully in your bed or in a plane crash matters little. Maybe you will know your death is coming by means of a medical diagnosis. But maybe you will get in your car today and never make it back home. The tragedy would be if you die without ever having repented of your sins, and without having asked Jesus to save you. That is why your loved ones, who are saved, will be mourning your death.
Beloved, praise God in all things, because He is worthy of all praise. He is good always! His holy Name will be glorified. So if you are one who is asking the why questions, turn to God and thank Him for His blessings on YOUR life. If you don't belong to Him, seek His mercy of salvation, and ask Him to apply the precious blood of Jesus Christ to your sin, and save your soul from everlasting judgement and punishment. On the cross, Jesus bore the punishment for sin. Tell Him that you believe that He is God, and that He died so that you might have everlasting life, and be, here and now, in right relationship with the Father. Plead at the throne of all grace and mercy for salvation, and you too will be saved. And then thank Him for all the suffering He endured on the cross for your sins. Praise Him for loving you so much that He was willing to come and die such a horrible death so that you could live with Him for all eternity, no matter how your death might occur here on earth.
I watch the news, seeing video and pictures of the devastation and my heart hurts so bad for these people. So much loss of life. Such destruction. Dead bodies are everywhere. Buildings, everything in ruins. So many still missing. Families torn apart. Babies and children roaming the streets looking for parents. Parents who have lost every one of their children, and wonder why God choose to let them live.
Efforts are being made to bring aid to these people. That is where the focus is, help these people in any way we can. But in the midst of people being occupied with compassion and help, some still beg the question of why God allows things like this to happen. It's just like here in America, after the tragic event of 9/11, when people by the millions flocked to church in the days and weeks following.
Jesus addressed calamity in Luke 13:1-9. Since way back in bible times, it has been thought that when something tragic happens to you, it is because you have committed some terrible sin, or living in a very sinful lifestyle. It's the thought that bad things happen to bad people, that the righteous will prosper and the wicked will suffer. You see it even as far back as Job 4:7. It's not to say that God has not, does not, and will not judge. When you sow in sin you will reap judgement. Proverbs 24:16 says, "For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity." Galatians 6:7,8 says, "Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life." Back when Jesus was on the earth, the Jews still thought the bad things that happen in your life were a result of sin (John 9:2).
In Luke 13, Jesus is being questioned about a couple of different calamities that had happened there. The people were supposing that the victims of these tragedies had suffered death because of their sin. Jesus questions them about their suppositions in thinking that these victims were the worst of sinners. He deals with the question by warning that unless they repent, they would likewise perish. The question to ask when faced with tragedy is not "why", but "am I saved?". The point is this, death is going to come. We know of course that every Christian alive at the time of Christ's return will be caught up together in the clouds with Jesus, and changed in the twinkling of an eye (1 Thes 4:17). But death is guaranteed for every other person. So since death will come, what Jesus is saying is that you better be ready. You are never guaranteed time to prepare for your death. You don't know when or how it will happen, but it WILL happen. It's not how you die, it's whether once you die, are you headed for heaven or hell? God was very merciful. Look at all the people that did survive the earthquake. He is patient and long suffering. Think of all the stories of God's mercy and grace on so many there in that country. Even here in America on 9/11, think about how many more could have died, and think of all those who survived. God was merciful! Does it really matter the details of how you will die, if when you do, you are headed for hell? We live in a fallen world. Sin, destruction, sorrow and death are all around. God is so gracious and merciful to every single one of us. Because of the fact that He had the right to kill you instantly the second you committed your very first sin after birth, he is already showing you such love and long-suffering. He is giving you time to repent. If you are without Christ, you are going to die and go to hell. Whether you die peacefully in your bed or in a plane crash matters little. Maybe you will know your death is coming by means of a medical diagnosis. But maybe you will get in your car today and never make it back home. The tragedy would be if you die without ever having repented of your sins, and without having asked Jesus to save you. That is why your loved ones, who are saved, will be mourning your death.
Beloved, praise God in all things, because He is worthy of all praise. He is good always! His holy Name will be glorified. So if you are one who is asking the why questions, turn to God and thank Him for His blessings on YOUR life. If you don't belong to Him, seek His mercy of salvation, and ask Him to apply the precious blood of Jesus Christ to your sin, and save your soul from everlasting judgement and punishment. On the cross, Jesus bore the punishment for sin. Tell Him that you believe that He is God, and that He died so that you might have everlasting life, and be, here and now, in right relationship with the Father. Plead at the throne of all grace and mercy for salvation, and you too will be saved. And then thank Him for all the suffering He endured on the cross for your sins. Praise Him for loving you so much that He was willing to come and die such a horrible death so that you could live with Him for all eternity, no matter how your death might occur here on earth.
Monday, January 18, 2010
And so it continues
As my FB friends know, I have been working many hours and haven't written a single word since December 27, and today is January 18. Three weeks have gone by since my last post. I have told God all along, in the short time since He commissioned me to write, that this is HIS blog, not mine. It belongs to Him completely. I don't want it, I don't want to write a single word outside of His will and plan. I am on my face, prostrate before my God, every single time, before even attempting to write the first sentence, seeking His face, His heart.
I have been praying the last few weeks, telling God that if He has said all He wants, through me by this means, that I would gladly and willingly close this chapter in serving Him. What would be the point in writing for God if it isn't willed and directed by Him? Wouldn't that make it just for myself, if I continued where He didn't command? If I walked where He didn't lead me? And wouldn't I be going in my own strength if I tried to go on where He had put up a stop sign? Who am I to try to know God's heart, mind, and plan for this blog? It came as a shock to me from the very beginning. Although I had previously prayed about writing something, in some form, I didn't know His answer would come like it did, and in the form that it did. I have been praying so fervently about being a missionary in an underprivileged country for the most part, in my "desires of my heart" prayers. Writing was something that hadn't even come up in my prayer for quite some time. It was such a delightful surprise when my God told me that I would, in fact, start writing. And I truly began with no expectations, no game plan. Nothing was thought out. I didn't even know where to begin. I am so extremely computer illiterate, I couldn't even imagine that I would be able to know how to click on a site to set up a blog, much less what I would say once it was set up. Boy, there is nothing better in this whole wide world than turning everything over to the One who spoke and created the heavens and the earth! There was no fret in me, like normal, when I have to do anything on the computer beside turning it on and shutting it off. I knew this was a God thing, so He was in control. I was just going where He lead me. He did it all. And once the blog began, I just turned to Him from entry to entry, asking for His will, His heart, all for His glory. I haven't concerned myself with what He wanted to say, or when He would decide that this blogging was finished. I never know when an entry will be my last one. I don't know His plans. Before I even started, what if He only wanted one entry? What if there were only one person in this whole world who was intended by God to see one line in that one entry? And then He was done, and moved me on to something else? What if there were only 2 people, and there were only to be 5 entries? If you have read any of my posts, you know I have written on abortion, the murder of babies. What if there were only one young girl, who that very day had an abortion scheduled, and God, in His infinite love, grace, and mercy, wanted to tell her something that would touch her heart to not kill her baby? And after that He had said to me, "Dana, My servant, you won't be writing anymore. Now I have something else planned for you in serving Me." Would I stomp my feet, or get my feelings hurt, be disappointed or angry? If I had any other reaction than a delightful, "Yes, my Lord. And thank You, holy God, for Your words through me.", then wouldn't I have been doing this blog for all the wrong reasons, with a completely wrong heart? Yes. My motives would have been sinful, because if my motives and reasons for writing were anything besides obedience to my King, and wanting only His will, for His glory, then sin would have been in play. It would have been done for something for myself, instead of all for my Master and King. The ways of serving my God are limitless, for He is an infinite God, with all knowledge and power. As His child, He could place me anywhere on this entire GLOBE, doing any one of a million plus different things to serve Him. Do I want to pick and choose my service to the King of kings and Lord of lords? No way! Do I want to let HIM choose, from His perfect omniscient, sovereign plan, no matter what that may be? YES!! Yes, Lord, whatever You will, whatever Your plan, YES!!
I have prayed in these last three weeks. I have told Him that I know, no matter what my schedule looks like, that if He wanted me to write, He would give me the strength to do it. He would give me the time and energy, and the words on His heart. I have joyously waited on the Lord during this time, seeking His face on this, His blog. And if it was a closed chapter, so be it. It takes all the worry and fret out of serving the Lord, when you wait on Him, and when you obey Him with all your heart, wanting only what HE wants for your life. Even at the beginning of this weekend, when I knew I had some free time, I still didn't know if He would have me write. And during this weekend, He never affirmed to me that the blog would continue. He had me so absorbed in His word, and had me feeding on the preaching and teaching of other servants of His. He grew me so much these last three days, growing in the Lord! Growing in grace and knowledge. He lead me to some incredible sermons to listen to, and affirmed in me His desire to reach the city of Memphis, TN for the gospel. He solidified in my heart, His heart for His children in Memphis to be a biblical model for diversity, for racial reconciliation and racial harmony. The bible tells us, like in Revelation 5:9 and 7:9, that there will be people from every tribe, every nation, and every tongue in heaven, praising and worshipping the King together forever! And He wants His children here in Memphis involved in bringing about harmony amongst His peoples, here in this great city. He desires for us to take the gospel of Christ to everyone, for the kingdom, for His honor and glory, and for the good of Memphis. And it won't stop there! He affirmed to me that He indeed has more plans for me, and He wanted me to spend much time this weekend in further equipping. I gladly obeyed, not giving a care to writing.
And then, at 4:30 in the morning on this very day of January 18, 2010, He spoke to me, kind of like He did on the first day of this blog, and said, once again, "You will write." So, not knowing how often they will come, and what they will be pertaining to, except the fact that they will be from Him and for His purposes, we continue, He and I. Thank You, gracious Father, loving Savior, Holy Spirit, my Teacher and Guide. May You truly be glorified!
I have been praying the last few weeks, telling God that if He has said all He wants, through me by this means, that I would gladly and willingly close this chapter in serving Him. What would be the point in writing for God if it isn't willed and directed by Him? Wouldn't that make it just for myself, if I continued where He didn't command? If I walked where He didn't lead me? And wouldn't I be going in my own strength if I tried to go on where He had put up a stop sign? Who am I to try to know God's heart, mind, and plan for this blog? It came as a shock to me from the very beginning. Although I had previously prayed about writing something, in some form, I didn't know His answer would come like it did, and in the form that it did. I have been praying so fervently about being a missionary in an underprivileged country for the most part, in my "desires of my heart" prayers. Writing was something that hadn't even come up in my prayer for quite some time. It was such a delightful surprise when my God told me that I would, in fact, start writing. And I truly began with no expectations, no game plan. Nothing was thought out. I didn't even know where to begin. I am so extremely computer illiterate, I couldn't even imagine that I would be able to know how to click on a site to set up a blog, much less what I would say once it was set up. Boy, there is nothing better in this whole wide world than turning everything over to the One who spoke and created the heavens and the earth! There was no fret in me, like normal, when I have to do anything on the computer beside turning it on and shutting it off. I knew this was a God thing, so He was in control. I was just going where He lead me. He did it all. And once the blog began, I just turned to Him from entry to entry, asking for His will, His heart, all for His glory. I haven't concerned myself with what He wanted to say, or when He would decide that this blogging was finished. I never know when an entry will be my last one. I don't know His plans. Before I even started, what if He only wanted one entry? What if there were only one person in this whole world who was intended by God to see one line in that one entry? And then He was done, and moved me on to something else? What if there were only 2 people, and there were only to be 5 entries? If you have read any of my posts, you know I have written on abortion, the murder of babies. What if there were only one young girl, who that very day had an abortion scheduled, and God, in His infinite love, grace, and mercy, wanted to tell her something that would touch her heart to not kill her baby? And after that He had said to me, "Dana, My servant, you won't be writing anymore. Now I have something else planned for you in serving Me." Would I stomp my feet, or get my feelings hurt, be disappointed or angry? If I had any other reaction than a delightful, "Yes, my Lord. And thank You, holy God, for Your words through me.", then wouldn't I have been doing this blog for all the wrong reasons, with a completely wrong heart? Yes. My motives would have been sinful, because if my motives and reasons for writing were anything besides obedience to my King, and wanting only His will, for His glory, then sin would have been in play. It would have been done for something for myself, instead of all for my Master and King. The ways of serving my God are limitless, for He is an infinite God, with all knowledge and power. As His child, He could place me anywhere on this entire GLOBE, doing any one of a million plus different things to serve Him. Do I want to pick and choose my service to the King of kings and Lord of lords? No way! Do I want to let HIM choose, from His perfect omniscient, sovereign plan, no matter what that may be? YES!! Yes, Lord, whatever You will, whatever Your plan, YES!!
I have prayed in these last three weeks. I have told Him that I know, no matter what my schedule looks like, that if He wanted me to write, He would give me the strength to do it. He would give me the time and energy, and the words on His heart. I have joyously waited on the Lord during this time, seeking His face on this, His blog. And if it was a closed chapter, so be it. It takes all the worry and fret out of serving the Lord, when you wait on Him, and when you obey Him with all your heart, wanting only what HE wants for your life. Even at the beginning of this weekend, when I knew I had some free time, I still didn't know if He would have me write. And during this weekend, He never affirmed to me that the blog would continue. He had me so absorbed in His word, and had me feeding on the preaching and teaching of other servants of His. He grew me so much these last three days, growing in the Lord! Growing in grace and knowledge. He lead me to some incredible sermons to listen to, and affirmed in me His desire to reach the city of Memphis, TN for the gospel. He solidified in my heart, His heart for His children in Memphis to be a biblical model for diversity, for racial reconciliation and racial harmony. The bible tells us, like in Revelation 5:9 and 7:9, that there will be people from every tribe, every nation, and every tongue in heaven, praising and worshipping the King together forever! And He wants His children here in Memphis involved in bringing about harmony amongst His peoples, here in this great city. He desires for us to take the gospel of Christ to everyone, for the kingdom, for His honor and glory, and for the good of Memphis. And it won't stop there! He affirmed to me that He indeed has more plans for me, and He wanted me to spend much time this weekend in further equipping. I gladly obeyed, not giving a care to writing.
And then, at 4:30 in the morning on this very day of January 18, 2010, He spoke to me, kind of like He did on the first day of this blog, and said, once again, "You will write." So, not knowing how often they will come, and what they will be pertaining to, except the fact that they will be from Him and for His purposes, we continue, He and I. Thank You, gracious Father, loving Savior, Holy Spirit, my Teacher and Guide. May You truly be glorified!
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